A lot of people think happiness is like an amusement park ride with intense highs that must be chased. But happiness is subtler than that, and what you THINK leads to happiness may actually result in the opposite. Many anti-happiness behaviors become patterns without you realizing it, and they can end up ruling your life. By recognizing and then stopping them, you actually challenge yourself to become who you truly are, which is critical to true, sustained happiness.

In this podcast I address more than 20 behaviors that lead to UNhappiness including rescuing, looking for problems, assuming, control and many more. They are all designed by your subconscious to keep you safe because it’s what you learned many years ago. Most of the things you do are strategies from when you were young before you had the ability to even know why you have chosen to do and say the things you do. It makes change and vulnerability look scary. Letting go of these patterns takes time, so be patient with yourself. The first step is recognizing them, which is what this list will help you do. When you catch yourself engaging in them, stop. Ask yourself what you are afraid of or what you’re trying to avoid. When you question your motive and do the opposite of what you usually do, your life will start to change and happiness won’t feel so elusive.