Warped

Ep. 211 - Half a Life

It's the return of some many things this week on Warped.  First the return of Lwaxana Troi and all the horniness that comes with her.  More importantly it's the return of Corrections Corner with a double dose of corrections.  Which means we talk about penis vs ball size.  You know its tough to be funny watching an episode that's basically trying to argue old people aren't useless but we try.  All this plus what's the story with Gates's hair: Wig or not.  Plus it finally happens, Google gets asked a question it can't answer.  Way to go Phillipe!!!!

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Episode 210 - The Drumhead

Having missed our very fun 4/20 viewing of Qpid, Warped regular minwin is back as we celebrate Matt's birthday in these next two episodes. Happy birthday, Matt! You're truly a gem and we wouldn't be who we are without you. We're also joined by regular guest May.

The crew talk about their love for the Escape Room and (somewhat surprisingly) the Saw movie series. We then get lost in this episode's talented guest actor, Gene Simmons, and her possible relation to a famous tongue.

But it's down to business when Star Trek court room antics heat up the screen. There has never been a more thorough examination of the sitting devices in a Star Trek episode than that performed by the Warp crew. And it is, much like the early Saw movies, also surprisingly entertaining.

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Episode 209 - Qpid

On this weeks Warped things get sexy as Q returns, Jean-Luc has a lady caller and, sexiest of all, Shawn tells us how he sleeps. Also discussed are the best and worst twist endings and why George Lucas is the devil. All that plus a classic Producer Jake zinger on a brand new Warped. We Love You Minh!!!!!!!!

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Warped Episode 208 The Nth Degree

It's the return of Lt. Barclay, so everyone is pretty hyped. Who would have thought a room full of Rosses would relate to Barclay. You are listening to Warped so you know we tackle the important questions of the day. Questions like: What do you call the area between the chin and the boobs? Is Dwight Schultz the greatest actor form the A-Team? and What the heck is the James Webb telescope? All this plus several pieces of our most popular bit: Corrections Corner!!!!!!

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Episode 207 - Identity Crisis

Here's some trivia: before beginning an episode, every podcast records what's called "room tone," which is several seconds of silence that's used to eliminate background noise during editing. The Warped crew is TERRIBLE at doing this, and your humble editor thought it was time you heard that for yourselves.

Back on the 1701-D, Geordi has a real up and down week. On the plus side, he has a lady friend that he isn't gross or weird around. On the minus side, he turns into a veiny blue alien. It's for weeks like these the shrug emoji was invented.

Meanwhile, Matt sings the praises of Jackass Forever, Shawn fills us in on what's new at Dave & Busters, Erin recalls the joys of 90s as-seen-on-tv hair products, and Phillippe reveals what exact percentage of human is too low to get low. (Spoiler: It's lower than you'd think.) All that and the challenges of freeze acting, this week on Warped!

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It's the second half of our Wickedly Warped Welcome Back recording session, and things are still decidedly wooly. Philippe is mostly off tending to his offspring (loving father that he is), while Erin somehow gets caught in one of those crazy space rifts we keep on seeing pop up in Star Trek. How weird is that?

Matt, our dear leader, throws some titillating questions at us, the answers to which just might surprise you. Although.. maybe not? It's Warped after all!

Listen in this episode, and learn...

"Who's the oldest famous (living) person you would have sex with?"

We really do learn so much about ourselves.

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Here’s part 2

We're back! And we're spending way too much time describing the awesomeness of The Last Starfighter. The crew is in high spirits while discussing things like Robert Preston, Elton John, Tiny Dancer, Music Man, Victor/Victoria, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood... Wait, I better stop before this description becomes a "We Didn't Start the Fire" parody.

After Shawn gets a citation, we gab about the shows we've wasted our life watching more than once all the way through. We learn that Maggie Smith is the Nick Fury of Downton Abbey, Philippe is not at all convinced that the other starfighters are dead, and we also find Xur's long lost aunt. We close things out with a round table discussion about streaming services, The Great British Baking Show, Disney+, and Schitt's Creek. Now onward, to Star Trek: The Animated Series.

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For the last week of the Best of Warped, we present what happens when we watch something other than Star Trek. It’s our two part viewing of The Last Starfighter. Next week we will be back with new episodes.

This week the Warped crew celebrates Star Trek day by... (drum roll) not watching Star Trek! Join us, if you will, on a two-part journey of adolescent wish fulfillment as the Music Man tells us that we are very, very special. Normally, I would say that watching along with us at home is as completely unnecessary as the podcast itself. But you really should consider this a great excuse to check out The Last Starfighter again, or for the first time, if you've never supped from its polygonal delights. Watch along with us, because we are so clearly overwhelmed with nostalgia that we have no choice but to gush, with our geeky bits all engorged, about every little thing that's happening in the movie. Plus, bonus drinking game: if you take a drink every time Shawn makes a connection from this movie to Star Trek, you will be well and thoroughly sauced.

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This is the answer to the question: Dis they really watch ALL Star Trek? Yes. Yes we did. Even the animated series. Which we were super excited for until we actually watched it. But aside from that, look for a new episode as we delve back into season 4 of TNG in a couple weeks. Again we want to thank you for hanging in there while we get our stuff together.

This week, Matt is humoring Minh so we don't have to talk about Howard Hughes, but hey, you know, sometimes a clock is wrong twice. We get into a game of "Which Star Trek Character Are You?" and discuss our love languages. We could use some help from our audience to decode some of these Cher tweets. One of the smaller music acts coming out of the 80's gets a boost from the Warped Crew. We lip jam some of our favorite TV show theme songs. Minh is "otterly" disturbed at the thought of being with a bear. Our apologies go out to the Foo Fighters for not loving them the way we should. Woodstock 99 has no avocado toast, so we're going to have to VH1 vanish ourselves the frak out of here. Send our regards to the glory hole!

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