we dont know yet

what causes us to feel uncomfortable with being alone? is it social pressures, western culture, our digital age, evolutionary selection for sociability and safety??

on this special edition cinder session, hear the perspectives of 20+ people including cinder, friends of cinder, and friends on instagram who generously shared their thoughts on what shapes our perspectives on spending time alone, and maybe reclaim its strengths for ourselves.

--

special thanks to!:

tamara on substack, 'Alone, Finally'

eunice (euni): IG @eunicechen_

allison (allieng): IG @allieng07

winnie (pastor winnie): IG @winnaylee

diane (dion): IG @diianejii

kevin

& IG poll respondents!

it's grad season!! seeing our friends (and sibling) graduate this month got us reminiscing on our not-so-long-ago grad days, and how free we were then, and how little we knew about what we had coming....

join as we reflect on just a few lessons (of many) learned during the undergrad-to-new-grad transition that they don't teach you about, from what actually matters to your boss, to learning to be alone, to discovering (and re-discovering) our sense of self.

to our fellow adult-ing friends, what are the biggest lessons you've learned?

welcome timmy to the pod!!! this week he shares a day in the life of a #medstudent in nyc, and how he balances that with community, hobbies, and making the most of the city. how different (and similar) are our lives, actually?

how do we prioritize and manage our time? how do we spend money?

THAT AND MORE this week!

timmy on IG: @timmyhkim

welcome to our possibly most raw and vulnerable episode yet, where we break down the 4 attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, disorganized, secure,) and how understanding them has fundamentally changed how we approach dating, friendships, and every kind of relationship.we're leading with this thesis: no one is ever just 'secure' or 'anxious' or 'avoidant'; our attachment style varies based on who we're with, circumstance, stressors in life, and sense of self. dig in with us! do you agree?

one of the many things they don't tell you when you graduate is that friendship gets a lot harder -- making friends, growing some, sustaining a few.

we asked our good friend and subject-matter-expert JP to join us in sharing perspectives on navigating post-grad friendship-finding and redefining what friendship looks like in our 20s, from mingling friend groups to new ways of seeing the closest people in our lives.

JP on IG: @jspark28

this week we're spilling the tea on our lessons learned on the top green, red, and run-in-the-opposite-direction flags when considering a new romantic partner.

it'll be more digging into our first-hand experience archives, hot takes, and a lightning-round of top green vs. red flags to look out for -- that we learned the hard way.

what are your top green and red flags?

in this part 2 to last week's episode, we attempt to tackle the age old question: what's the line between "being friendly" and "flirting"?? based on first-hand experiences, this is everything we've learned from being led on, leading on, crossing boundaries... but trying to make guy-girl friendships possible.

becoming friends with the opposite gender (or whom you are romantically attracted to!) seems to have taken on new undertones in our 20s... it's something no one says out loud, but sneaks behind 1:1s or repeated lunches or a thoughtful act of service -- so we lay our cards down, and then ask: is it possible to be be 'just friends' with the opposite gender in your 20s?? FEATURING MARIA TU!

is being type A something you’re born with, or something you become?

we started out by processing how being the oldest child to younger sisters has who we are... but it spun across many things -- from family spreadsheets to perfectionism, to the influence on friend group dynamics and carrying burdens no one asked for.

this one's for the older siblings and/or type A's in the house, but really for you younger siblings and/or type B friends to hear us out and maybe have a lil sympathy... this episode might hit a little too close to home.

why does it feel like there’s a timeline for everything in your 20s?

in this episode, we talk about the “clock”—not just biological, but the unspoken timelines around dating, career success, and even friends. how much of this pressure is real vs. just fabricated by culture... and does everyone feel behind?