We Gauge Cage

Ugh.

Just...ugh.

*sigh*...

Just when we thought we were out, Nic pulls us back in!

The boys took a trip back to the Castle Period in order to watch his 2018 craptacular effort "211." Yep. That is the title of a movie alright. Do with it what you will.

Before they plumb those depths, however, they give a little more follow-up on their respective weekends, and they get to the bottom of what the hell is wrong with young children (hint: It's Brian's "Controversial Take of the Week!").

Let's get into it!

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Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

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And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

Never Fear, because Brock and Brian are here. But oh my goodness! Thank god Brock was brave and quick-witted and resourceful enough to rescue Brian from the clutches of that nefarious, underground, evil group of organized criminals in time to record a podcast episode this week!

Sincerely, for those of you that depend on us for weekly content, we apologize that we were forced to record and release the podcast a few days later than usual and deliver it to your earholes. But also sincerely, don't blame us. Blame the totally real and not-made-up-in-any-way criminals that kidnapped Brian.

Anywho, the boys watched Captain Corelli's Mandolin this week, a 2001 war epic that felt much older and much slower than what it truly was. They got through it, and they lived to tell you all the tale!

Before all that noise, the boys recap their adventurous weekends at home and abroad (to California), they talk karaoke and thrill rides, and there's probably a perverted joke or two in there somewhere. Naturally.

Enjoy?

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

We work hard (they work hard!). Every day of our life. We work 'til we ache in our bones. At the end of the day, we take home my hard earned pay all our own! We get down on our knees, and we start to pray, 'til the tears run down from our eyes!

Speaking of tear-jerkers, this week the gentlemen fancypantsers watched 2006's animated, ant-related offering (No, not THAT movie. No, nor THAT one either...) "The Ant Bully." Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Paul Giamatti, sex-cult leader Allison Mack...what could go wrong?

Before all that, the boys have a little surprise in store. They talk impending fatherhood, they talk adult Disneyland, they discuss one of their psychopathic, serial-killer origin stories. It's all there, baby!

Now if you please, allow us to get into it.

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

You drink a whiskey drink, you drink a lager drink, you drink a vodka drink, you drink a cider drink. You sing the songs that remind you of the good times, you sing the songs that remind you of anything but this god-awful excuse for a cinematic movie.

That's right. The lovable boys watched the 1995 David Caruso/Nic Cage action crime thriller "Kiss of Death." It...it was problematic.

Before that, the boys talk about their weekends, give more insight into the movies that they'll actually pay to see outside of this experiment, discuss the MoviePass fiasco, and they host a Nic Cage-themed fantasy draft.

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

If you want to be our lover, you will HAVE to get with our friends.

Make it last forever. This podcast experience never ends.

Speaking of getting with friends, the boys are joined this week by another boy. A handsome boy. A good boy. A... "fanboy?" The oft-mentioned JK himself, Jon Keepers joins us for this watch of the 1992 rom-com Honeymoon in Vegas.

Before we hop into the juicy deets of this film, we take a long trip down memory lane, we play a few one-sided games, we talk about some of our best adult video experiences, and we try to get to the bottom of whether Jon is a bigger fan of us, or we of him.

Listener discretion advised.

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

"How funky is your chicken?" My chicken's really funky. "How loose is your goose?" My goose is totally loose. "Now come on, you Cage Gaugers, and shake your caboose."We're shaking our caboose.

The fellas could not conceive their luck when they got the privilege of watching Nic Cage's 2017 thriller (an ACTUAL thriller this time!) "Inconceivable." The tale of a person who can't conceive, and...and Nic Cage for some reason. But most importantly, it's a tale of Barry. You'll find out.

Before we try to break down the twists and turns and tubes and eggs of this film, the boys talk desserts. They talk toilets. They talk fashion influencers. They talk a teeny tiny bit of Teen Titans.

Let's get into it!

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of films...

Well, to be honest, it wasn't the worst. It was one of the shortest, so it had that going for it.

That's right. Brock and Brian watched Nic Cage's holiday dud "Christmas Carol: The Movie" or "A Christmas Carol" or whatever other name they gave it. From 2001.

Nobody asked for this film. Nobody needed this film. The producers, actors, and crew spent so much time asking if they COULD make this film, they forgot to ask if they SHOULD make this film.

Before that, the boys play a few games, give an updated list of rankings, and they talk about the #2 love in their lives. (#1 is, of course, each other).

Enjoy.

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

You can pick your podcasts. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your podcaster's nose. I always say.

Anywho, the boys lied down (layed down? lay down?...) The boys settled down and watched Nic Cage's 1993 epic saga, "Amos & Andrew." Co-starring Samuel L Jackson, this film had it all: racism, pedophilia, and just *horrible, horrible* acting and writing and production.

Before, during, and after all that, the gentlemen discuss their 4th of July vacations, the cool new versions of themselves, "Mr. Dependable," and they bring back an old game of Last Man Stanton with a different actor. Who wins? Who loses? Who cares? There's only one way to find out!

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

Happy birthday to...AMERICA! "AMERICA! F*** YEAH!"

Oh, America, you've given us so much: Apple pie. Baseball. Food on sticks. Malin Akerman.

Wait...Malin Akerman is Canadian!? Well, can you tell her to take this hunk of garbage back to her homeland so we never have to see it again?

Look, people, I don't know how you planned on spending your Independence Day, but if you want to listen to us give our opinions on this 2012 Taken knock-off, starring Nic Cage and the aforementioned Malin Akerman, we'd be forever grateful!

But before delving into to who and/or what gets Stolen, the boys discuss random hairs in random places, their opinions on seeing the Mandy trailer for the first time, and talk about if that **** was always in the script for Drive Angry.

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.

Well, it's a hot one. 'Bout seven inches from the midday sun, if I had to guess.Picture this: The year is 2011. The same year that brought us both "Drive" and "Drive Angry." Only one of those films stars Nic Cage, and only one of those films is a complete turd. Because why Drive, without specifying how angrily one should do so? But before all that, the boys chat about their weekends, puppet shows, surprise parties, and Brian has a little Breaking News to share with our beloved listener base. Enjoy?Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.