*(5/30/21 UPDATE: A FULL TRANSCRIPT IS UNDERNEATH THE OUTLINE).
In this podcast, I spend some time speaking with wealth management industry expert, Brittain Prigge, about the role of communication and expectations with wealthy families. We both agree that broadening communication within wealthy families is the surest way to reduce the risk of wealth destruction across generations. Brittain brings many real world examples and wisdom to this important topic. She has unique insight into the art of getting these (often difficult) conversations started and how to keep them productive.
BRITTAIN PRIGGE, CFA is BALENTINE'S President and Head of Relationship Management. Balentine is the Atlanta-based RIA with over $4B in AUM. A founding partner, Brittain also sits on the Management Committee, helping steer the strategic direction of the firm. In 2014, Brittain was named one of the Top 100 Women Financial Advisers by the Financial Times in its inaugural list, and in 2020 Atlanta Business Chronicle honored Brittain as a Women Who Mean Business honoree.
As a reminder this conversation is for educational purposes and is not investment advice- enjoy the conversation- there are lots of useful points here.
Your Background
What are the misconceptions around discussing Wealth in the Family?
Is this a one-time event or more of a culture that needs to be built?
Importance of Alignment at the Head of The Family-
The Danger of Assumptions
The Importance of Historical Context
Immigrants / or Natives?
Birth order / Blended Families?
How Do You Start the Conversation?
Example Questions: Defining wealthy
Legacy:
Who are you beyond your wealth?
How do you wish to be remembered?
Defining Legacy:
Who are we beyond wealth?
What features/values do we want to persist?
Other Questions-
Documenting Legacy: There is no ONE way to do it
Letter of Wishes
Personal Histories
Creativity- Video, Social Media tools
Include Detail
Timing? Family meetings?
How Often? Where? Who has input? Who is moderating?
Education- how do you make sure everyone starts out from the same place?
Preparing for Asymmetries of Knowledge, Interest, Attention
Dealing with Conflict
Complex Family Systems
Siblings- dealing with baggage, galvanizing for the future
Blended Families- Unique Issues
In-Laws- Bringing together Diverse Backgrounds, Making them Involved
Ultimately the most difficult question: Fair vs Equal
How do we stay in touch with you and follow what Balentine is doing in the space?
BALENTINE.COM
BRITTAIN PRIGGE
INTRO: Welcome back to the “Wealth Actually†podcast, the show that features artists, entrepreneurs, experts and commentators that will give you the right knowledge, planning and guidance so you can preserve your assets and enjoy your wealth, learn more and subscribe today at weatlhactually.com.
And now here's your host, Frazer Rice.
FRAZER RICE: Welcome back to the “Wealth Actually†podcast, I'm Frazer Rice. Today, we're going to be talking about having difficult conversations with wealthy families and we have a noted expert in the field. Britain is a CFA and the president and head of relationship management for Balentine. In 2014, Britain was named one of the top 100 women financial advisers by the Financial Times in its inaugural list. And in 2020, the Atlanta Business Chronicle honored Britain as one of the women who mean business honorees. As a reminder, this conversation is for educational purposes and is not investment advice.
Brittain, welcome aboard.
BRITTAIN PRIGGE: Thank you so much, Frazer. I'm honored to be part of your podcast. I've listened to you a lot.
FR: Well, we're thrilled to have you and it's terrific to have your viewpoint on. What I would describe is really tricky discussions that wealthy families are having. Maybe to start, though, could you take us through your background a little bit and how you ended up at Ballantine and working with some of these higher level families?
BP: If you want to go all the way back, I am from Alabama. I grew up playing tennis. I went to Vanderbilt on a tennis scholarship and ended up in Atlanta solely because of friends, but started getting interested in the stock market and got a job just to get a job, but ultimately decided dealing with the institutional-type wealth was what I wanted to do. And it got more and more interested in families and adding value in ways beyond investments. Pretty early on, I would say I've been a relationship manager for about 30 years and that's the core of who I am and what I do. Though I also manage a four billion dollar firm!
FR: As we start to horn in a little bit on the difficulties that families have in discussing money within and among themselves. What are some of those first major misconceptions around wealth discussions that you've seen in your experience?
BP: I think the assumption that you understand how the patriarch matriarch, whom we also call G one feels as well as how G1 to G3 feel, I think there's so many different types of feelings about wealth and the expectation to be a good steward of wealth and often G1 to G3 are insecure and sometimes there is some guilt there being what we call the trust fund child. And sometimes there's an assumption that people feel a certain way. So I think not assuming that any situation is like the other, especially when you're on our side of the table, is a mistake.
FR: One of the things that I've seen, too, is that many families, patriarchs, matriarchs in particular, sort of think the wealth discussion is a one time event, not unlike some misconceptions around estate planning. I built this structure. I'm good to go. Don't have to think about it anymore. Do you see that a lot where families come in and say, I want to check the box, I will impart information to the next generation and then we're off and running?
BP: What I see is two things.
One is often these entrepreneurs that we deal with that often have a net worth that is and could be in the hundreds of millions, tens of millions is very different when it's on paper or in the company as opposed to when it becomes more liquid. So I think there's an assumption sometimes that you don't need to do any of this planning unless you have liquidity, which I think is wrong. And there's also an assumption, as you said, we're going to have this discussion.
We're going to go in with his day planning attorney. We're going to make all these decisions and have these solutions in a one time deal. And often that is a difficult process and B, don't necessarily come out with the solutions that are the right ones. I think what I found over time is estate planning, wealth and legacy. Any kind of governance is a process. And if you try to go to a solution too quickly, you're probably not going to come out with the best outcome when you get to that sort of solution.
FR: A quick issue, where do you see problems when maybe the matriarch and patriarch, the generators of the wealth or the sort of stewards of the family wealth currently when they aren't aligned? What happens if one message from one side is a little bit different from the other? You see that causing lots of issues as it steps down generations.
BP: Absolutely. And I actually won't have a conversation, a full family conversation until I feel real comfortable that the patriarch and matriarch are on the same page I will find in our business. It still is a male dominated industry and often the male. The patriarch has more of the decision making power always has, which is often a mistake. And a lot of times the matriarch has not even been talked to about it. How do you feel? And often if you do it right, you could have a year's conversation with the patriarch matriarch or maybe just one or the other to really understand how willing they are in order to give up some of this decision making power. And if there are two people, there has to be compromise. So is the assumption that everybody feels the same way. It's just not right.
FR: And you talk about the danger of assumptions. What do you do to kind of break that down and to get everyone on the same page? I mean, there's sort of the assumptions around how people feel, which is by no means a small component of it. But there's also the assumptions as to what people know and what they're educated about regarding wealth and even how members of the family think or interact with each other.
BP: I have probably the greatest coach, I would say, in the world on the whole aspect of wealth and legacy and how you talk to clients. And that's a man named Dr. Jim Grubman. And the first several sessions we had, he would stop me and say, you're doing it again, you're doing it. So if you make assumptions, the family is going to make assumptions. You must take the time to go through the process and not try to get there too quickly.
And that is I find that most of these people, a lot of them have built businesses and they're used to making decisions. And you just find it is a process that takes a lot of questions and asking the questions and then actively listening is imperative for someone on our side of the table.
FR: If you are going to try to consult in this way, how do you think about building mutual context among family members, whether it's historical or, you know, the idea of whether the family is first generation American or whether they've been here for six or seven generations or, you know, issues around birth order or blended families or even just the history of how the wealth was built. How do you think about that in terms of getting everyone on the same page knowledge wise so that people break down those assumptions?
BP: All those different aspects are important culture. Is hugely important, understanding and acknowledging the difference in the different generations,...