Web Crawlers

VOICEMAILS:Our voicemail line rings for waaaay too long. The math on the chances of us existing at the same time as aliens. Leaving a surprise in the jacuzzi for the mean swim teacher. Getting out of a rut. The car curse came for Maggerdoodles. Being inspired to get your drivers license. Where the hell is Sweet Baby James? Craig Killborn used to host the Daily Show. Another McDoanlds hot coffee theory. Turds in the pipes. 

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Wellness trends are constantly changing. It seems like anyone with an instagram account who knows some buzz words can claim to know the key to health. What is actually helpful and what is a straight up lie? 

Peabody & Emmy Award-winning journalist Jane Marie from The Dream answers our questions about wellness industry scams, health & nutrition coaches, juice cleanses, and supplements. 

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626-604-6262

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VOICEMAILS: Nightmares from the Brave Little Toaster, Stacy the ghost, Annie are you okay CPR connection, bounty hunter/driving instructor, walking by 3 murderers, why does Hillary have hot sauce in her bag, grocery store paying for school, never recognize people while lucid dreaming. 

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626-604-6262

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Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/webcrawlers.

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Where did Velveeta cheese come from? Why does it melt unlike other cheeses? And why on earth was it considered a superfood in the 1930s? Also, the vintage Kraft recipes aimed towards housewives are deranged. 

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626-604-6262

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Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/webcrawlers.

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VOICEMAILS: School bus “hijacking” story. Recurring Taco Bell dream. An insane discovery on a boat tour in Costa Rica. A scary night of dog sitting. An official statement from Maria about cannibalism. Bjork’s stalker. 

[email protected]

626-604-6262

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Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/webcrawlers.

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In 1996, Proctor & Gamble launched an artificial fat substitute called Olestra that promised we could eat all of our favorite junk with none of the calories. There was just one problem: it caused anal leakage. 

Also, the reviews for sugar free gummy bears are incredible, a listener story of an unfortunate side effect from a sugar substitute, and it turns out the Nestle company isn’t very nice. 

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626-604-6262

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Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/webcrawlers.

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EMAILS: A poem from Bigfoot to us. 

VOICEMAILS: Drivers ed teacher going to Arby’s. Pop or Soda? Passing driving test cuz ur Italian. Pibb Xtra. Coke Move. Pepsi owns fast food restaurants. An unsuccessful Digornio change. Starry. 

[email protected]

626-604-6262

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Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/webcrawlers.

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In 1994, a woman become famous for suing McDonald’s because she spilled hot coffee on herself. She became a punchline, and the narrative was that she was a scammer looking to make money from a frivolous lawsuit. But, the reality of the case is quite different.

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626-604-6262

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VOICEMAILS: Is Stitch a Puckwudgie? Push it real good! Cocky drivers never pass the test. Becky’s psychic visit. A voicemail too scary to play. The location of the real Area 51. Inconsequential middle school confession. The car curse lives on. Frances Perkins coincidence. Columbian hot dogs are confirmed delicious.

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626-604-6262

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Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/webcrawlers.

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What happened to Wendy the Snapple lady and was the rumor about her cocaine habit true? Why does Ronald McDonald look so similar to Bozo the Clown? What’s the story behind the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and how are they responsible for Chris Pratt? What the heck is Hamburger University? We answer all these questions!

[email protected]

626-604-6262

Discord / Twitter / Instagram / Patreon / Merch

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/webcrawlers.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.