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Welp this week has been a busy one for the body and mind.
The afib since it has returned has smacked me around 6 times in the past 10 days.
“Where’d you go hibiscus tea!?”
*hopelessly_pours_anotha_cup*
Thankfully the meds get rid of it within an hour but that brings its own uncomfortable side effects.
Just when I thought the afib was enough members in the band my noggin said, “hold my beer”.
Turns out the clogged feeling I’ve been getting on and off for the past few years in my right ear isn’t anything to do with ear wax.
A CT scan found something (2.6cm) that shouldn’t be there. I was considering not saying anything til I knew more but honestly I feel a bit lost at the moment.
The hard part is not thinking about it. Working on music this week was a nice outlet but the upcoming MRI can’t come soon enough.
Thursday I’m scheduled for an MRI and MRV. I considered sampling MRI sounds this week to soften the irrational fears and thoughts that giant thing induces but oof! Industrial noise was not on my bingo card this week. I wish the machine didn't sound like a stuttering wounded goose.
In other news 30th album anniversaries inspired this noodle. A nod to the naive 18yo me stuck in a tiny practice room for the day who was obsessed errr INFLUENCED! by Fiona Apple's "Tidal" and Tori Amos' "Under the Pink".
I dunno I'm not the greatest with my rhythms sometimes but those two albums the piano resonated so deeply with me and changed how I play so pardon me while i reminisce <3 *smacks low end of keys like it’s 1996*
During that year I had a lil mixtape where Fiona Apple's "Never Is A Promise" ended with it's strings and somehow perfectly bled into Tori Amos' "Cornflake Girl”.
I'm Sure Rick Beato could tell me why it sounds so good but yes if you're bored play those in order and enjoy!
UPDATE: If my ears hear correctly I think it’s cuz Fiona ends with strings on Aminor and Tori starts with…. Aminor! Yay take that music theory!
Also how can you not sway to "Shadowboxer"?
That album was my buddy again this week.
So a quasi loud noodle to express some of the feelings I’ve been going through.
I’m scared. I’m angry and most definitely tired.
The good news is I gots music to make!
and my first therapy appointment went well and was more helpful than every single therapist I’ve seen in the past.
Now to try and not stare at the clock.
*_flings glasses across the room_*
<3
Your ginger fraind
hugs_from_afar
<3
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