So many people strive for perfection to cover up feeling they’re messed up. But I have news for you: everyone is messed up! Including you. Welcome to the club, restrooms are down the hall. Your inner critic is what makes you believe you aren’t good enough, punishing yourself for your flaws. We all have fears and baggage from life. No one escapes unscathed (nope, not even that perfect little family down the street). Even if you had a healthy childhood, someone in your life disappointed you or made you feel you weren’t good enough. Maybe it was a boss who pointed out what you did wrong in a presentation, making the company lose a client. Believing you do things wrong while other people do things right leads to judgment and punishment which just makes everything worse.

In a relationship, maybe you do everything for your partner so they don’t criticize you. You bend over backwards, yet still feel unappreciated. Your inner judge gets angry because you’re doing everything right—why doesn’t your partner reward you? You double-down on your efforts until you have a meltdown because you can’t keep up the pretense. You can try to fit yourself into what you’re supposed to be and fail, or you can own your baggage and simply be messed up ol’ you. Remember, everyone has an inner critic who tells them they’re doing it wrong. With self-acceptance comes emotional freedom… and a lot more energy. Isn’t it better to choose messed up and happy rather than messed up and miserable?