Safety is an illusion, and changes around us rock that feeling of “safety,” making us want to find the nearest cave, climb inside and block the entrance. Some of us think moving to another country is the answer. What else do we do in an attempt at security? We try to control people and situations, making decisions out of fear because we can’t trust our own feelings.

We destroy what we do not trust, trying to prove it’s not trustworthy. We look for evidence to support it and even plant clues, waiting for someone else to take the bait. We do this in relationships with loved ones and strangers. Ever suspect your partner is cheating and look for signs that you’re right because you want to prove s/he is untrustworthy? We do it spiritually, too. We can’t trust that the universe/God/higher power will provide for us, so we look elsewhere for safety, leaving us swirling in circles. But safety isn’t outside… it’s inside.

To create your own safe place, you must not choose AGAINST yourself. That means stop people pleasing and sacrificing to the point of martyrdom because that just leads to, “See? I knew s/he would screw me!” or “See? I knew there was no God!” And what do you feel when you go down that road? Unsafe. So speak your truth and trust your decisions. It’s so much more effective than trying to control anything outside of you.