What is compersion? Thanks for asking!

You won’t find the term compersion in the dictionary, but it could be defined as the pleasure derived from seeing someone else experience happiness and joy. It’s often associated with polyamory and non-monogamous relationships, having been coined by the Keristan polyamorous community in 1970s California.  

So are you saying I should be happy if my partner loves someone else?

Compersion is all about being happy for someone else, even when their positive experience isn’t related to us. In a relationship, you could see it as the opposite of jealousy and possessiveness. Compulsory monogamy is a social mandate which suggests that having multiple partners at the same time is immoral. We are traditionally raised to view dating in this way, which can lead to an expectation of jealousy and feelings of ownership over our partners.

That’s not to say that polyamory is for everyone, but some couples have taken the conscious decision to move away from the status quo when they feel it’s not working for them. Society teaches us that we’re supposed to satisfy all of our partner’s needs and vice versa but often that’s simply an unrealistic expectation.

How do people go about cultivating compersion in polyamorous relationships? Can compersion exist outside of polyamory? In under 3 minutes, we answer your questions!

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