What is ghosting? Thanks for asking!

Ghosting is a modern slang term for ceasing all communication without any warning or explanation. It’s likely happened to you in the past at some point, and you may well have also ghosted someone yourself! The term was first added to dating jargon in the 2000s, and has become more common with the rise of social media, online dating and casual hookup services. A survey by Elle.com found that half of all men and women had ghosted someone at least once in the past. Meanwhile, only 23% of women and 36% of men had never experienced ghosting in any capacity, either as the ghost or the ghostee. Ghosting can happen in pretty much any kind of relationship, including with family members or as part of a recruitment process. But it’s most commonly talked about with regards to dating. We’re not talking about ignoring someone after one disappointing date, but rather after several dates, or even in the context of an apparently exclusive relationship. All of a sudden, the ghost stops responding. They ignore calls, texts, Whatsapp messages and any other form of communication. As if the ghostee didn't exist!

Seems pretty cruel and cowardly! Why do people ghost then?

Some mental health professionals view ghosting as a form of emotional cruelty. At best, it confuses the ghostee and at worst it causes them severe distress, which can have a lasting impact on self-esteem. Ghosting comes across as an especially inelegant kind of behaviour, even if the intention isn’t necessarily to hurt the ghostee. It’s been argued that ghosting results from a general decrease in empathy towards relationship partners. Cynics say this is typical of the digital era culture, with selfishness and narcissism all too common. Before getting too judgemental, let’s also recognise that ending a relationship can be uncomfortable at the best of times. You could say that ghosting is the easy way out, and some people certainly do it to avoid conflict.

Are there any other alternatives to ghosting? In under 3 minutes, we answer your questions!

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