In life there are many times in which the people around us as rivals or as teammates achieve major successes when we don’t. Our immediate reaction can be pride, joy or even envy. How do we begin to deal with the success of those around us and deal with not only the internal implications but also the external ones. 

 

It can be easy to make those achievements the prize. Most likely one that you were also gunning for, it could be the job promotion, winning the race or something as simple as seeing them happy. In a wide scope we are all searching for many of the same things in life, purpose, love and support and most of the time it can feel like there is a finite amount of those. In reality our egos as well as society has told us that if you’re not first your last rather than the truth which is that we are all running individual races even if it is in the same competition. 

 

Today, we discuss the nuances of pure joy without expecting something in return. Graciously accepting the successes of our opponents and learning from those moments. In your own life think about the times that friend and foe you’ve felt like you are second best in life. Then think about those moments if you faked a smile or if you were genuinely happy.

Every time we step into the arena it can become our immediate goal to do our very best, better than we have ever done before. An emotional response in physical performance, work, and life. The want to push ourselves harder than ever before. However in the end we feel disappointed when we haven’t pushed past and gained our personal best only judging ourselves on one single metric. 

 

The reality is that we only have to be as good as our average. If we can over time recognize the summation of the sum of our parts we can see the average going higher over time. We are very quick to judge ourselves on our personal best as opposed to the average over a large data set. 

 

Next time you think about going into a workout, a meeting or a meditation think about how far you have come over time since you have started. The way that you can make tomorrow slightly better than your average. Don’t focus on the ceiling focus on the floor, take the pressure off and bring your gains up.

Today Shane and Dennis take a minute to reflect after a big move across the country to a new home. The fears and futures that surround the move are discussed at length. 

 

It can be difficult in life to recognize big decisions and then to be able to aptly deal with them. Shane and Dennis breakdown their own thought processes surrounding this big decision and others in each of their lives. 

 

It can be easy to become overwhelmed with big decisions or super excited, but it is key to remain balanced as you make these decisions and leave space for variable change. 

Momentum is a tricky idea especially when you haven’t started yet. When you are trying to get started it can be very hard to change and move and operate easily. On the opposite side once you are in motion it is easier to fluidly change and maneuver, at least that’s what famous pilot Amelia Earhart said. 

 

Her famous line painted on the side of her plane read, “Lead with your stick” meaning the stick of the plane. She found it easier to change direction once in the air rather than on the ground. In the same regard to anything in our own lives we must recognize the advantages of getting moving even if we aren’t absolutely sure. 

 

Changing routes and directions can seem scary alone but especially if we haven’t been moving forward already. The ability to take steps in the right direction allows us to more easily find out what we need, what we want and what we don’t want. Think about building momentum, and the benefits that a moving plane has over a stopped one.

In life we are constantly faced with change, and self doubt can be a normal part of that change. The ability to recognize self doubt allows us to be human. It’s normal to be scared or doubt ourselves when going into the unknown. 

 

Our identity can often be tied into external groups relationships and jobs that are challenged when they change. Whether we are making the change or someone is making that decision for us, all the comfort we have known is now gone. Leaving us to wallow and doubt what is next and what we could have done better. 

 

Like all things fear and self doubt have their place and will always come around, but in order to overcome self doubt we must act. Regardless of fear or a lack of confidence in our own abilities, the self doubt will never be alleviated without trying. 

In a continued conversation from last week’s episode we are exploring the final three archetypes of our inner child. The yes person, the life of the party, and the hero worshiper are at front and center today. Each of these three archetypes build on the love that we have and have not received and accepted as children. 

 

This week, continue to focus on which archetype or types best remind you of yourself. Each with their own positive and negative connotations. With the end goal of building agency in mind, think about how your own self awareness can play a gigantic role in the future you would like to build for yourself. 

 

Exploring the past can be difficult, but also beneficial. Knowing our own strengths and weaknesses can be the difference between months and even years spent wanting. Addressing the past now can create invaluable links to our behavior today.

How well do you know yourself? A question that we rarely hear. That’s because oftentimes it can be scary and troubling to become self aware. Afraid of the things we might find that we dislike about ourselves, but also afraid to admit the things that we love about ourselves as well. 

 

In order to understand who we are now, it helps to revisit the past. The Seven Archetypes of the Inner Child explains seven different identities that we each can fall under. We tend to see the behaviors of these identities present themselves in our day to day behaviors as adults. This can inform us of the way we give and receive love, how we act at work or with our family and friends. 

 

Not only will being able to understand yourself better be an asset to you going forward but it may also heal some of the behaviors that have plagued you in the past. Listen to this two part episode and dig deeper in learning about yourself in order to better understand how you can be the best version of you that you can be.

 “Don’t sweat the small stuff” a saying that we have all heard before. “The Devil is in the Details” another saying that we have all heard before. Both of these quotes are widely recognized, however they completely disregard the other. Are the details important or aren’t they? Are we supposed to hold every person in the world accountable to our standard and our schedule every single day? 

 

In an overlapping world of small details it is important to see how each of them fits into the big picture. The ones that matter and move us closer to our bigger goals in our work, hobbies and relationships. Being able to distinguish which details matter begins with distinguishing what our why is. 

When we are able to see the bigger purpose and the ways that the big picture is dependent upon certain small things we become excited about them. It is a repetitive action to remind ourselves of the big picture, our motivation or our loves. These are the vehicles that allows us to dive deeper or decide to let go of the little things. 

The Placebo Effect is most commonly referred to when talking about medical drug studies. A phenomenon that occurs when a group of test patients see signs of improvement because they believe they have been given treatment when they have not. This powerful connection between the brain and body can be a powerful tool in personal improvement. 

Before any activity or task we have a preconceived notion about the idea and or task, is it going to be hard, fun, enjoyable or miserable either from personal experience or that of others. It’s natural to use past experience as an indicator of future, however these connections can become more important when they affect our mood inside and outside of one singular task. 

 

Think about your own life and one thing that for better or worse can affect your entire day. Now imagine if that one thing that improved your day you could do every day. You may physically or mentally improve based on this one task, but more importantly you may improve in multiple facets throughout the day, like your job relationships or hobbies. 

Throughout our lives there will inevitably be goals that we would like to achieve, either in work, in hobbies, in school or in relationships. The list goes on and on. What if someone told you that no matter how many of your goals you achieve, that will never bring you true happiness. That idea is exactly what we are talking about today, and it's called the arrival fallacy. 

 

Psychologists all over the world have done study after study measuring the happiness that was or wasn’t achieved from goals and successes and all of them seem to say the same thing. The happiness that came from achieving said goals was fleeting and only lasted a short amount of time relative to the amount that it took to get there. 

 

You might be expecting someone to say that the real happiness is in the journey and not the destination, however you would be incorrect. Others might suggest we do nothing if the success of achieving said goal doesn’t bring any happiness either. Regardless of what you think will achieve or bring happiness it's typically more complicated that if just than.