What is polyamory ?

Polyamory means having romantic or sexual relationships with more than one partner. It differs from the traditional model where two partners have an exclusive relationship and are faithful to one another. However, an important criteria is that all partners involved give their consent to these open relationships.

It’s like swinging?

Not really. Although the lifestyle does include having sex outside of the established couple, swingers tend to avoid any romantic attachment with their non-marital partners. Being polyamorous means you believe in the right to love more than one person and is therefore totally opposite to monogamy. 

It’s like polygamy ?

That’s not really true either. Polygamy is by definition linked to the custom of marriage, and married life. Often in cultures where polygamy is practised, only the husband is allowed to marry several partners. An essential feature of polyamorous relationships is that all partners have equal rights. 

To understand polyamory, you need to analyse the concept of traditional loving relationships. Partners believe that they belong to one another and accept giving up their respective freedom. Any external relationship is seen as a threat and feelings of jealousy stem from this model.

The thinkers behind polyamory, like Russian revolutionary Alexandra Kollontai, talk about principles such as equality in mutual relationships, the absence of possessiveness, empathy and caring for the well being of others.

Therefore, polyamory doesn’t destroy faithfulness. Rather it reinvents it. Being faithful in a polyamorous relationship requires honesty, attentiveness, trust and trustworthiness. 

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