What Would You Do For Million Dollars?

• For the chance to score a seven-figure payday, 43% of Americans would ditch their romantic partner, according to a new survey.
• More than half (59%) would disappear and start a new life for a million bucks, while 41% would give up sex forever and 27% would marry someone they didn’t love.
• Nearly half (46%) of the 2-thousand respondents would even participate in a real-life “Squid Game” competition for a shot at winning $33-million.⠀

Wildest Things Kids Brought To School

• “A baby opossum — in his backpack that he found at the bus stop that morning.”
• “Sixth grader brought ‘brownies’ and gave them to the ENTIRE grade level. There were students sitting against the walls on both sides of the hallway in the main office waiting to get interviewed by law enforcement.”
• “A life-sized cardboard cut-out of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. We propped her up in the window of the door overnight and scared extended-care folks and the janitor.”
• “Fifth grader brought weeks-old Jello shots from Mardi Gras.”
• “A kitten he found on his walk to school.”
• “Aztec death whistle.”
• “An expired Twinkie they had found on the bathroom floor.”
• “First grader brought his mom’s copy of ‘Kama Sutra’ and asked me to read it to the class.”
• “All the rent money from a mom’s purse.”
• “Student ... unzips hoodie to reveal a boa constrictor snuggled around her neck.”
• “Grandma’s wig. The good one. Gave it to me for Christmas.”
• “Fuzzy handcuffs that she said her mom loves.”

Kids Embarrassing Their Parents

• “I made the mistake of telling my kid that if he didn’t eat, he wouldn’t grow. He told a person with dwarfism in the checkout line at the store that they needed to eat so they would grow.”
• “My son at 5 years old dropped a deuce in the toilet display at Lowe’s.”
• “Just paid for an item at Walmart and walked out without it in a bag. My kid said loudly, ‘Are you stealing that?? We have to pay!’”
• “My daughter would ask every man she saw if they were her dad. Me and her dad were, and still are, together. She saw him daily, she just insisted on asking every man .... she even asked people when her dad was with us.”
• “When my daughter was 4, we were having breakfast in a restaurant and she asked the elderly lady next to us why she wasn’t in heaven yet.”
• “I told my son he couldn’t eat chips until we got home. He responded loudly, ‘But Mom, we don’t have a home.’ We very much did, and everybody at the store started offering housing resources.”
• “Walked into Wendy’s and my 2 and 1/2 year-old looks at a lady and said in her loud, squeaky voice, ‘That lady is OLD. She’s going to die soon.’ Every head turned to look at said woman. We did not eat at Wendy’s that night.”
• “My 5-year-old son asked if the gas station guy with the turban was a genie.”
• “My son loved to fake drown at water parks.”
• “My son told the pediatrician when he was 7 or 8, ‘My mom doesn’t make us wear seatbelt and we duck if we see a cop.’ NEVER HAPPENED and I was so speechless, I couldn’t even react.”
• “My daughter asked the .... cashier (who was missing some teeth) if she ever brushed her teeth before.”

Second Date Update
Amanda calls us about Eli. They went out for drinks in Mountain View after meeting online. She thought he was attractive and smart, and they had a few hours of great conversation. Now nothing.