What You've Been Looking For

This week we decided to finish the series with a freestyle episode - no topic planned, just talking and seeing where it goes.

We cover anger, fear, identity, attachment, emotions, letting go, spirituality vs religion, parenting, and more…

With all that we reckon there'll be something for everyone!

We're going to take a break for the summer but first, we have 3 open calls coming up - 2nd, 9th and 16th July 2020 - subscribe to the newsletter below to be guaranteed to hear about those.

So listen in to this weeks' episode, see what occurs to you, and get in touch with any questions or to discuss this topic for yourself. Just go to the website www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com

If you enjoy this and know others who you think might benefit please share with them so they can hear it too.

With love,

Natalie, Gary and Helen

Here are the resources we mentioned in the show

Sadhguru https://www.youtube.com/user/sadhguru

Deepak Chopra's Daily Breath - episodes about the different domains of reality - physical, quantum and virtual https://www.deepakchopra.com/podcast/article/63

Jill Bolte-Taylor and her experience of her left brain going off-line due to a stroke https://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_my_stroke_of_insight/transcript?language=en

Mooji https://www.youtube.com/user/Moojiji

Illustrating Rain's Podcast on creativity https://www.illustratingrain.com/podcast

Love is letting go of fear

Coaches mentioned:

Piers Thurston https://qualityofmind.biz

Clare Dimond https://claredimond.com

Dave Kibby https://davekibby.org

Our own individual sites:

Gary Bridgeman https://garybridgeman.me

Helen Amery http://wildfigsolutions.co.uk

Natalie Nuttall https://www.natalienuttall.co.uk

Ways to stay connected

Subscribe to the newsletter to be kept updated https://www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com/

Join the private Facebook group to get into discussion on the topics https://www.facebook.com/groups/1136692516681005/

Subscribe on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3eWJRNXHNwK9gjdCudcOAw

As often happens in these conversations, we quickly identify that procrastination isn't a true 'thing' that can be defined or identified. It's a mind-made label given to an activity that the self-narrative 'thinks' should happen in THIS time frame and which is happening in a different time frame.

The tension arises when 'we' do battle with life, believing it should go our way and not life's way.

And yet, as we continue to explore - when we come to see more and more that we are not the do-er, not the decider, not the controller - we see that everything is happening in the only way it can.

Think of times you've not done something 'to plan' and yet it's worked out perfectly. Or when delaying saved you a whole load of unnecessary activity. Or even when delay meant something went 'wrong' and yet later turned out to have been the best result.

When we attach to ideas, we are lost in imagination, and we suffer - the perfect mechanism to wake us back up!

Listen in, see what occurs to you, and get in touch with any questions or to discuss this topic for yourself. Just go to the website www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com

If you enjoy this and know others who you think might benefit please share with them so they can hear it too.

With love,

Natalie, Gary and Helen

Here are the resources we mentioned in the show

Elizabeth Gilbert's book on creativity - https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magic/

Russell Brand interviewing Elizabeth Gilbert - https://luminary.link/2uX8oaI2p7

Gary Weber where he talks about the brain activity seen in decision making and how the self-narrative that claims the decision has nothing to do with deciding - the "I" that we think we are plays no part - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeNmydIk8Yo

Charles Eisenstien living in the gift programme - https://charleseisenstein.org/courses/living-in-the-gift/

Ways to stay connected

Subscribe to the newsletter to be kept updated https://www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com/

Join the private Facebook group to get into the discussion on the topics https://www.facebook.com/groups/1136692516681005/

Subscribe on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3eWJRNXHNwK9gjdCudcOAw

In the aftermath of George Floyd's death, the world is confused and reeling with the horror of what was seen on our screens, protests have happened and the conversation about race and discrimination has re-surfaced.

In this episode, we intend to bring the conversation to a deeper level, to the love and connection that we are, and from which we act with greater humanity, from wholeness, and therefore in the direction of real inclusion - not just removing the symptoms of racism from a fundamentally racist system.

We explore up and down the scale from the relative experience of our physical system, which carries ancestral trauma in its DNA, through psychology, and into the realms prior to thought which is untouched by any experience of form.

In spanning these realms we hope to raise something into your own experience, maybe helping something to be seen afresh, maybe loosening a previously fixed belief, maybe allowing a denied emotion to be felt.

Whatever it is for you, trust that that's all that can happen and that you will be guided to the next step that's perfect for you.

Listen in, see what occurs to you, and get in touch with any questions or to discuss this topic for yourself.

If you enjoy this and know others who you think might benefit please share with them so they can hear it too.

With love,

Natalie, Gary and Helen

Here are the resources we mentioned in the show and some extras that we thought could be useful.

This document provides resources structured to lead you through the process of growth to become an effective ally and eventually accomplices for anti-racist work if that is your path.

Byron Katie - The Work - a practical process to dissolve the fixed beliefs that keep us stuck in repeating cycles of behaviour, and which reconnects us to who we are before thought https://thework.com

Russell Brand interviewing Kindhe Andrews about systemic racism from both a physical-world economic perspective as well as touching on the work to be done at the spiritual, self-level https://t.co/GYT2s0XqTY

John Amaral who teaches energetic chakra reintegration and balance https://johnamaral.com

Rupert Spira guiding a delegate on one of his retreats to recognise the space prior to concepts of black or woman. Not in denial of the concepts, but in recognition that they are not who we are, and from where we can then live with aligned freedom and love every concept that appears for what it is https://youtu.be/fRSHHQPceGU

Subscribe to the newsletter to be kept updated https://www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com/

Join the private Facebook group to get into the discussion on the topics https://www.facebook.com/groups/1136692516681005/

Lonely in isolation because of coronavirus? Talk of a loneliness epidemic?

What's true about an experience of loneliness, and what's illusory and transient?

The mind will attach to an idea of loneliness, turn it into an imagined constant, and start on a quest trying to solve the suffering through other people or work or the pub.

But most of those 'solutions' have disappeared in the current situation, so now what?

This is in fact an amazing time to see what loneliness really is - a temporary idea of me as a separate individual, momentarily experiencing fearful thinking.

The thinking passes and the idea of loneliness passes with it.

The more we see this is how it works, that who we really are is the constant conscious awareness of all of it, the easier it gets, and the more we find we're naturally moved to connect with people or not without a desperate imagined need behind it. Now knowing that none of it says anything about who we are or the state of our wellbeing.

Listen in, notice what occurs to you, and get in touch with any questions or if you want to discuss this topic for yourself. Just go to the website www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com

If you enjoy this and know others who you think might benefit please share with them so they can hear it too.

With love,

Helen, Natalie, Gary

Loneliness vs being alone https://www.storypick.com/lonely-vs-alone/?fbclid=IwAR3iHNWOKMNaXAn6AwRBInGn_95GMOgi0EG-Jr3tLbKtj3NPE-5sBRYjJHM

Subscribe to the newsletter to be kept updated https://www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com/

Join the private Facebook group to get into the discussion on the topics https://www.facebook.com/groups/1136692516681005/Subscribe on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3eWJRNXHNwK9gjdCudcOAw

Whether we're comparing 'up' to others who look like they've got it sorted, 'down' to others who don't and feeling guilty that we have it better, or comparing 'nowhere' into an imagined future self or job or situation - the moment we identify with any of that, we're lost.

Whereas before the uncomfortable feelings that come with identified-comparison would have been taken as a signal to fix this life, or income level, or social status, or health, what we invite you to here is to take those feelings as a signal that you're believing something to be true that can't be true. It's an invitation to look behind the curtain and see the constant behind the fluctuating experiences and see the reliable mechanism - when we're caught in me-based thought and believing it, it's going to feel yukky.

Listen in, notice what occurs to you, and get in touch if you want to talk about anything we discuss or to ask any questions. Just go to the website www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com

If you enjoy this and know others who you think might benefit please share on so they can hear it too.

With love,

Helen, Natalie, Gary

At these times of change, businesses are going out of business, people are losing jobs or waiting at home wondering if they'll have a job or company to go back to.

It can look scary and impossible and inevitably feelings of insecurity will appear within all that.

What we invite here in this conversation is the possibility to see more than we have been trained to first jump to.

Given that we've been taught that feeling fearful, upset or insecure is wrong, and given we've been taught that we need to have financial security (whatever that nebulous phrase means), it's inevitable that we'll feel lost, confused and busy-minded in an experience of possible job loss. It's also inevitable that - from what we've been taught - we'll try and fix and solve the job or the money situation as the first place to start feeling better.

And - the more we see that the feelings of insecurity are appearing in conjunction with ideas of me and my imagined terrible future, independent of what's actually happening in life in that moment, then we can start to create chinks of light in what otherwise looks terrible, because we can start to see that, when those thoughts aren't there, we're fine and just going about life with ease.

Listen in to hear us talk about these ideas, as well as how us humans navigate experiences like this, how we are designed and able to do this - with fear, or without or both. How the more we stay with and allow in all experience, the easier we find we move through it and live more fully. Doing what looks obvious to do moment to moment, using whatever resources occur to us to use along the way.

So sit back, relax and listen in to see what opens up for you.

If you have any questions or concerns about what we've discussed in this episode or to tell us any topics you'd like us to cover in the future, just get in touch on the website www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com

And thank you for listening. We really appreciate it. If there are others who you think would enjoy this too then please share with them.

With love,

Gary, Helen and Natalie

It really looks like we can, doesn't it?

We've been told for so long to get the right mindset in order to be happy and successful and it's really looked like the 'right' mindset is a happy one.

What we point to in this episode is that, for all these years, we've been trying to reverse-engineer a natural process, a natural capacity within each of us. The mind has grabbed hold of an experience it likes the look of, it's attempted to fix it in place as 'wanted' and deny the 'unwanted' and then it's set about gathering strategies and tactics to 'do' positivity. All in pursuit of that nice feeling it remembers - and which deep down we know is available, we've just been told to look in the wrong place.

The more we look and inquire and prod and poke these beliefs we've been handed, the more the story falls apart and - counter to what the mind would tell us - the more we rediscover what was already here.

So sit back, relax and listen as we do just that with the ideas of positivity, happiness and hope.

If you have any questions or concerns about this episode or any topics you'd like us to cover in the future, just get in touch on the website www.whatyouvebeenlookingfor.com

And thank you for listening. We really appreciate it. If there are others who you think would enjoy this too then please share with them.

With love,

Natalie, Gary and Helen

Welcome back to Series two!

We've kicked off this season - of course - with the topic of the moment - coronavirus and isolation, as we share our various experiences of the last 4 or 5 weeks.

We begin with our experiences of the early weeks where we all had experiences of turmoil, confusion, frustration and grumpiness. Being dropped in at the deep end of a whole new experience of life that was confronting our various tightly-held beliefs was inevitably gonna feel like that.

For Helen, it was a belief of "I can't homeschool my kids" - in the presence of that homeschooling was bound to look impossible!

For Gary, it was "I'm an introvert, I need my own space" - in the presence of that, inevitable grumpiness with these people who are apparently in MY space.

And for Natalie - the big one - an experience of Coronavirus accompanied with "I'm not OK if I'm ill" was perfectly designed to bring extreme symptoms, extreme experiences and the opportunity to explore what was really true about those, what is this experience really?

We also talk about what would be seen as the "good" things from this situation like more community, greater connection, more humanity and of course the benefit to the environment.

If you've been finding yourself in the rollercoaster of the ups and downs since we all retreated to our homes, have a listen and see what occurs to you about your experience.

Is it really coming from those people you share a house with, or is there something else going on?

Thanks for listening and please share if you like it so others can find us too.

To close off this season we're going straight to the heart of the matter, exploring and questioning this thing we've taken as a fixed, objective reality all our lives. That is, until something starts to draw us towards a different conversation. One which puts chinks in the armour of what's really going on.

We discuss reality through the lenses of spirituality as well as science, exploring about consciousness - what is it? How does it happen? Are there levels of consciousness? The moving in and out of experiences of being limited to this body to being the expansive nothingness.

In sharing our personal experiences we hope to give an insight into the non-linear nature of this conversation and how to begin in this exploration, as well as how your experience of life can shift when you start to get curious about this thing we call life.

We'd love to hear from you with your questions and thoughts so just get in touch here [link].

For now, settle down, relax and join us for the chat.

Mentions in the show:

Daily Breath Podcast from Deepak Chopra - Helen mentioned the episodes on 4th and 5th March 2020, and the 2nd and 3rd March might be useful precursors to that. They're all short (max 7 mins) episodes - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/daily-breath-with-deepak-chopra/id1458887650

On The Mystery of Being - the book Helen mentioned which brings science and spirituality together - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mystery-Being-Contemporary-Convergence-Spirituality/dp/1684033950/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=80470539078867&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&keywords=the+mystery+of+being&qid=1583418927&sr=8-1

Donald Hoffman talking about his research that has shown we don't see reality as it is - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYp5XuGYqqY&t=368s

A discussion between Donald Hoffman and Deepak Chopra about Hoffman's evolutionary research as well as getting into his new research into consciousness being fundamental - https://www.awaketvnetwork.live/videos/jennifer-hill-a-conversation-for-consciousness-with-deepak-chopra-don-hoffman

Anil Seth talking about his research that shows how we live in a controlled hallucination, the brain constructs our reality moment to moment - https://www.ted.com/talks/anil_seth_how_your_brain_hallucinates_your_conscious_reality

Other resources for your curiosity:

Our own sites -

Gary - https://activate-yourlife.com/

Helen - http://wildfigsolutions.co.uk/ - Helen has a weekly newsletter you can sign up to in which she shares a short insight, links to longer content, and updates about programmes that are coming up.

Natalie - https://www.natalienuttall.co.uk/ - you can engage with Natalie via her facebook page (Natalie Nuttall Innate Wellbeing), where she shares daily content, videos, quotes and realisations

Three Principles

Michael Neill's Inside Out Revolution - https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=the+inside-out+revolution&hvadid=80333100153073&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&tag=mh0a9-21&ref=pd_sl_2lvdge9024_e

For a more business-y book, Ken Manning, Sandy Krott and Rob Charbitt wrote this - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Invisible-Power-Insight-Principles-Work/dp/0996530509/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=insight+principles&qid=1583419089&sr=8-1

For anxiety, stress and depression, check out Nicola Bird - https://alittlepeaceofmind.co.uk/

For habits and change, Amy Johnson - https://dramyjohnson.com/

Relationships and details of the Soul Centred Series - https://rohiniross.com/

Jacquie Forde, Unashamedly Human: https://jacquieforde.com/

Non Duality

Rupert Spira is a well respected teacher in the field of non-duality. You can sign up to receive a daily quote and he runs occasional free webinars as well as paid for events and retreats - https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/home

Adyashanti is an American spiritual teacher who maintains "Spirituality is not something set apart from life, rather, it is a plunge into the heart of existence -.https://www.adyashanti.org/Clare Dimond runs monthly online group programmes, as well as having written books - https://claredimond.com/

Mooji is a spiritual teacher whose wisdom and guidance points beyond the limitations of personal identity to true nature: https://mooji.org/mooji

Enlightenment - What is it? How do you know you're enlightened? How do you get there? And when do you stop?

We explore all these questions and more in this episode, connecting into our own experiences and how we see it, as well as what we've heard from others say in this arena.

We ultimately see that calling off the search is a natural conclusion of searching - but how do we get to that point?

Have a listen and see what resonates for you.

So settle down, relax and join us for the chat.

We'd love to hear from you with your questions and thoughts so just get in touch here.

Mentions in the show:

Russell Brand interviewing Michael Singer (you can currently sign up to Luminary for free via Russell's website) - https://luminary.link/Hp6oOOrcq4

Rupert Spira on awakening and enlightenment - https://youtu.be/3X_An-BTGqcSpiritual Enlightenment, the damnedest thing - Jed McKenna - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Spiritual-Enlightenment-Damnedest-Thing-Trilogy/dp/0980184843