“If we all got lawyers then there wouldn’t have been a show,” says Kelly about this episode of Dance Moms where Melissa sends the other Moms cease and desist letters. In the viewing room, the Moms had asked Melissa why she wasn’t wearing her engagement ring, and Melissa stormed out, while getting in touch with her lawyers. Abby lashes out at both the kids and the Moms in defense of Melissa. This scene sums up one of Christi’s fundamental disagreements with the show: the hypocrisy and double standards for different people. Melissa signed up for the same reality show that Christi and Kelly did, yet she hides behind Abby and doesn’t play ball, leaving Christi and Kelly to carry the show, engage in the kind of conflict the viewers tune in for, and as a result, look jealous and petty. Christi reveals the real reason Melissa wasn’t wearing her engagement ring, why she was so defensive, and the real ‘they’ Melissa was referring to on the phone.

Nia has a spot in the trio and is so excited about it. All the Moms want her to do well, especially because they know Abby will make her a scapegoat if things go wrong. Taylor, one of Cathy’s Candy Apples gets injured, and Cathy immediately wonders how well Kendall will be able to fill Taylor’s shoes. 

Everyone is wearing so much faux fur, ugly sequins and junky jewelry that Kelly can only touch her cocktail to her lips as she reviews, for fear of passing out. Abby continues to be a verbally abusive hypocrite, her desk remains a waste hazard and she carries her pizza box like it’s a book.

Quotes 

• “Everyone just thinks we're being bitches. No, there's a lot more to it than what you think. So this is a good episode for us to give behind-the-scenes takes on things because I think people are going to say, ‘Oh, that makes a lot more sense than what we've watched.’” (10:07-10:21 | Christi)
• “Honestly, our big night out always was Saturday nights after we finished filming. And we were always so exhausted. We would go and lay in a hotel room, drink wine, and have dinner. Sometimes we’d go out to dinner. Or the mall. We went to the mall a lot with the girls. Yeah, because we were gone and needed clothes.” (20:43-21:09 | Christi and Kelly)
• “We either had no time to eat, or all we did was eat our feelings.” (30:45-30:48 | Christi)
• “Abby repeats that she chose this topic since the girls are privileged. And a lot of kids their age aren't. Yeah, who else's parents can 16 grand a year on dance? Yeah, just a bunch of assholes.” (52:02-52:14 | Kelly and Christi)
• “I just want to point out how excited the producers were that there was an ambulance involved. Oh, yeah. They were really excited. Blood. Ambulance. Drama. Yeah.” (1:24:03-1:24:13 | Christi)
• “We should have gotten a lawyer to protect us. And we wouldn't have been in the positions we are, but the show also wouldn’t be what it is.” (1:28:01-1:28:15 | Kelly) 
• “Happy holidays if we don't see you. Kisses. I hope Santa puts you on the good list. I'm not sure about us. I think we're on the bad list. Naughty list for the win. At least you'll be in the pit next to me in hell.” (1:33:48-1:34:05 | Christi and Kelly) 

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