When Life Swings - Swing Back! Resilience Podcast with Phylecia Kellar (formerly ballin and bipolar)

If anything changed my life - it was a mindset shift, nothing else.

"If you want to change your life, start with your mind'

In this episode we're diving into - Pillar 2 Mindset !!!

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The full framework 

• 1) Understanding your struggle & Trauma
• 2) Mindset shift - why me, why not me
• 3) Daily Success Strategies - routine 
• 4) Internal Foundations - CIJ 
• 5) Finding your Magic - goal / priorities 

Pillar 2 - Mindset 

• SHIFT IT!
• "Why me becomes why NOT me — and that's where everything changes."
• You cannot think your way out of depression. But you can change the questions you're asking, and that changes everything that follows.
• What we cover:
• The shift from why me to why not me — the most important mindset move you'll ever make
• Limiting beliefs and the lies we tell ourselves that keep us stuck
• Living in the gain, not the gap — measuring progress against where you started, not where you wish you were
• The red car theory — you find what you focus on
• Gratitude as a daily practice, not a platitude
• Asking the universe/God the right questions

•⁃The key shift: From "I can't get out of this" to "How do I get out of this?"

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

In this episode we deep dive into pillar 1 of the 5 part framework.

If you don't understand the problem, you simply won't know the solution.

The full framework: 

• 1) Understanding your Trauma - the problem / the struggle.
• 2) Mindset shift - why me, why not me
• 3) Daily Success Strategies - routine 
• 4) Internal Foundations - Confidence, Independence, Joy 
• 5) Finding your Magic - goal / priorities 

7/22 - Pillar 1 - understanding your struggle and trauma 

• NAME IT!
• "You can't rebuild what you haven't named."
• This is where we stop running from what happened and look it dead in the face. Not to stay there — but because you cannot build a foundation on top of unprocessed wreckage.
• What we cover:
• What is your story — and what does it actually mean about you?
• Identifying your triggers and onsets before they take you out
• The difference between putting a bandaid on trauma vs. actually healing it
• Accepting that it's not if life throws a curveball — it's when
• Getting over the fear of "what if it happens again"

•⁃The key shift: From "This happened to me" to "This is what I'm working with.

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Everybody talks about resilience like it just happens. Like one morning you decide to be strong and the fog lifts on its own. That is not how it works, and I know because I lived the fall and had to rebuild with no map.

In this workshop episode I walk you through the exact framework I built from the ground up, The Comeback Architecture. Five pillars that take you from surviving to actually thriving. This is not theory. It is the roadmap I needed and never got, broken into steps you can start using today.

The five pillars we cover:

• Pillar 1, Trauma and Understanding the Problem. Name it. You cannot rebuild what you will not look at. This is where you stop asking what happened to me and start asking what am I working with.
• Pillar 2, Mindset. Shift it. Why me becomes why not me, and that one question change is where everything turns around.
• Pillar 3, Daily Success Strategies. Prepare for it. You do not build a routine for the good days, you build it for the bad ones, so you get back up faster every time.
• Pillar 4, Internal Foundations. Rebuild it. Putting the pieces back together on a new foundation, on your terms this time.
• Pillar 5, Grow and Find Your Magic. Thrive in it. Not just recovering and bracing for the next hit, but living at the highest level of your life.

Because it is not if life is going to swing at you, it is when. And when it does, you get up as many times as it takes. When life swings, we swing back.

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GET MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Recently, I had the opportunity to hear Manley Feinbergg II speak, and his message hit home. As a mountain climber, author, and speaker behind the concept of "Vertical Lessons," Manley uses the challenges of climbing to teach powerful lessons about life, leadership, and resilience. 

Find Manley here: https://verticallessons.com/

One question stood out:

What's your next summit?

In this episode, I break down three lessons that resonated with me:

🏔️ Courage — Sometimes leadership isn't about shining the spotlight on yourself. It's about helping others discover and shine their own light.

🏔️ Commitment — Call your shot. Decide what summit you're climbing next and commit to it. Clarity creates focus, and focus creates progress.

🏔️ Momentum — The climb isn't about never falling. It's about how quickly you're willing to reset when you do. You'll fail. You'll get distracted. You'll lose your footing. The question isn't whether you'll fall—it's whether you'll keep climbing.

This conversation is a reminder that success isn't found at the summit. It's built in the daily decisions to recommit, reset, and keep moving forward when the climb gets difficult.

Because the people who reach their next summit aren't the ones who never fall—they're the ones who keep getting back up. 💪🏔️

Key Takeaway:

"Momentum doesn't come from perfection. It comes from the reset."

Find Manley Feinberg II at his website: https://verticallessons.com/

Thank You Manley!

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Link for my FREE resources! 👇 

www.ballinandbipolar.com/free-resources

Follow me IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylecia_kellar/

FYI - I was recording this podcast as a voice note on my phone, and it cut off at the end, but don't worry - we got through the nuts and bolts of the episode, so hurry and listen!

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I started looking back through years of notes, goals, ideas, and plans—and it felt like reading a diary written by a different version of myself. Some of the goals I wrote down years ago have been exceeded beyond anything I imagined. Others haven't happened yet, but the difference is that today I have a plan, I'm taking action, and I'm moving in the right direction.

One of the biggest lessons I noticed was how my questions changed over time.

 Instead of asking "How do I do this?" I started asking "Who can help me do this?"—a concept made popular in the book Who Not How. I sought out people who knew more than I did, learned from their experience, and implemented what they taught me.

This episode is a reminder that your notes, journals, and goals are more than words on a page—they're a record of your growth. Sometimes the best way to appreciate how far you've come is to look back at where you started.

Because progress isn't always obvious when you're living it. Sometimes you have to read your own story to see it. 📖

Key Takeaway:
Your notes aren't just reminders—they're evidence of the person you're becoming.

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As always - my sign off for you since this cut off: 

Keep Trudging forward, tomorrow is a new day, it has never been touched.

And when life swings, you swing back!

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Link for my FREE resources! 👇 

www.ballinandbipolar.com/free-resources

Follow me IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylecia_kellar/

Ever feel overwhelmed by how far you have left to go?

Whether it's losing weight, paying off debt, growing a business, improving your mental health, or chasing a big goal, it's easy to get stuck staring at the mountain instead of taking the next step.

In this episode, I share The Rule of 5—a simple mindset shift that has helped me stay focused, consistent, and resilient. Instead of obsessing over the entire journey, focus on the next five.

Need to lose 50 pounds? Focus on the next 5.
 Need to save $50,000? Focus on the next $5,000 (or $500)
 Need to build a business? Focus on the next 5 customers.

The same principle applies to your daily life. When everything feels urgent, identify your 5 most important priorities. When motivation is low, commit to 5 minutes of action. Small actions create momentum, and momentum creates results.

Because resilient people don't achieve big goals all at once—they achieve them by winning small battles over and over again.

When life feels overwhelming, don't focus on the mountain. Focus on the next five.

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Link for my FREE resources! 👇 

www.ballinandbipolar.com/free-resources

Follow me IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylecia_kellar/

For a long time, I thought forgiveness meant reconciliation.

That if you truly forgave someone, you had to welcome them back into your life, reopen the door, and pretend the hurt never happened.

But I’ve learned something important:

Forgiveness and access are not the same thing.

This episode is about forgiving someone I genuinely cared about — without allowing them to re-enter my life.

Because forgiveness is not about excusing behavior or pretending something didn’t hurt you.
 It’s the conscious decision to let go of resentment, anger, and the emotional weight you’ve been carrying… for your own peace.

Not theirs.

In this episode, I talk about:

•  Why forgiveness is an internal decision, not an obligation to reconnect 
•  How boundaries can exist alongside forgiveness 
•  Why some people can be forgiven but still not belong in your life 

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is forgive someone quietly… and love them from a distance.

Because healing doesn’t always look like reunion.

Sometimes it looks like peace without re-entry.

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Link for my FREE resources! 👇 

www.ballinandbipolar.com/free-resources

Follow me IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylecia_kellar/

This episode is about something we all experience but don’t talk about enough:

The moments where life hits emotionally… and you want to completely shut down.

After Memorial Day, I found myself sad.
 Not dramatic, not spiraling — just deeply sad.

A mix of disappointment, loneliness, guilt, frustration, comparison, and realizing some things in life still hurt more than I want them to.

And for a moment, I wanted to cancel everything.
 Lay in bed.
 Eat all day.
 Avoid life.
 Wallow.
 Feed the sadness.

But deep down, I knew something important:

If I fed it, I’d still be sad days later.

So instead of canceling my life, I just trudged forward.

I took my calls.
 Went to my appointments.
 Spent time with people who fill my cup instead of draining it.
 Let myself vent. Let myself feel it.
 But I didn’t stay there.

And by the end of the next day… the cloud had already started to lift.

This episode is about:

•  letting yourself feel sadness without becoming consumed by it 
•  why isolation and wallowing make things worse 
•  the danger of feeding depression and self-pity 
•  and how small actions — sunlight, movement, connection, routine — can slowly bring you back to yourself 

Because it’s okay to be sad.

Just don’t build a home there.

Take the walk.

Answer the call.
 Go see your friends.
 Put one foot in front of the other.

The clouds do pass.

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Link for my FREE resources! 👇 

www.ballinandbipolar.com/free-resources

Follow me IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylecia_kellar/

I made up an entire story in my head about these guys at the gym.

I assumed they were judging me.
 Too cool for me.
 Intimidating.
 Probably thinking negative things about me.

And the reality?

They were kind. Encouraging. Human.

And one simple interaction completely changed my day.

This episode is really about assumption vs. reality — and how often our insecurities create stories that aren’t even true.

Because when your self-worth is low, or your nervous system is anxious, you start projecting judgment onto people who may actually be rooting for you.

You avoid conversations.
 You hold back compliments.
 You miss opportunities for connection because of stories you created in your own mind.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  The assumptions we make about how people see us 
•  How insecurity shapes social interactions 
•  Why free compliments and small conversations matter more than we think 
•  The power of human connection in a disconnected world 
•  And how simply opening your mouth can completely change someone’s day — including your own 

Sometimes we’re starving for connection while simultaneously avoiding it.

And sometimes the people we think are judging us…
 are actually inspired by us.

This conversation reminded me of something important:

Most people are just humans trying to get through life too.

And maybe life feels a little lighter when we stop assuming the worst about each other.

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Link for my FREE resources! 👇 

www.ballinandbipolar.com/free-resources

Follow me IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylecia_kellar/

Somewhere along the way, we started believing life only counts when something big is happening.

The vacation.
 The promotion.
 The weekend.
 The relationship.
 The breakthrough.

And in the process, we stopped noticing our actual lives.

This episode is about learning how to fall in love with an ordinary Tuesday.

Because if you can enjoy a regular day — with nothing exciting on the calendar, no huge milestone, no big dopamine hit — you’ve genuinely figured something out that most people haven’t.

Right now, so many people are exhausted, burnt out, overstimulated, and constantly chasing the next thing… while missing the life happening right in front of them.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  Why hustle culture leaves people emotionally empty 
•  How constantly “waiting for what’s next” steals your peace 
•  Going back to basics when you feel burnt out 
•  The importance of small routines, mindfulness, gratitude, and presence 
•  And how to create tiny things to look forward to every single day 

Because joy doesn’t only exist in big moments.
 Most of your life will be lived in the ordinary.

A random Tuesday coffee.
 Your kids laughing in the other room.
 A walk outside.
 A quiet night at home.
 Your favorite song in the car.

That is life.

And maybe the most radical thing you can do in a world obsessed with more…
 is learn to genuinely enjoy where you already are.

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MY BOOK!

www.ballinandbipolar.com/book

Link for my FREE resources! 👇 

www.ballinandbipolar.com/free-resources

Follow me IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylecia_kellar/