The Pulse

When Love Becomes Caregiving: How Illness Changes Relationships


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Over 60 million Americans — or one in four adults — currently serve as family caregivers for partners, parents, or other loved ones with illness or disability. But despite how common this experience is, it can often feel extremely isolating for the caregiver. In between daily tasks like wound care, medications, and bathing, or navigating health care and insurance — many caregivers find themselves grappling with burnout, loneliness, and bigger questions of love, death, and obligation.

On this episode, we explore the experience of caregiving, from how illness affects relationships, to the emotional fallout of changing roles, to some of the messy, unspoken frustrations caregivers face. Sociologist Laura Mauldin shares her experience of going from whirlwind romance to caring for a dying partner when she was in her late twenties. We explore the challenges of discussing death at the end of a long illness with a partner. And we talk with a pair of psychologists about the challenges of caring for elderly — and strong-willed — parents.

  • Sociologist Laura Mauldin was in grad school when she fell head over heels in love. A few months into the relationship, her girlfriend’s cancer returned, and Mauldin became her primary caregiver. She writes about her own experience, and that of many other caregivers, in her new book "In Sickness and in Health: Love Stories From the Front Lines of America's Caregiving Crisis."
  • Married psychologists Barry Jacobs and Julia Mayer discuss their experiences caring for Jacobs’ elderly parents, from navigating role reversals, to better ways of supporting caregivers. Jacobs and Mayer are the authors of  “AARP Meditations for Caregivers: Practical, Emotional, and Spiritual Support for You and Your Family.”
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