Why are people watching this?

This week, Dave, Justin, and Ashley watched A Quiet Place: Day One. Here’s the official synopsis: “When New York City comes under attack from an alien invasion, a woman and other survivors try to find a way to safety. They soon learn that they must remain absolutely silent as the mysterious creatures are drawn to the slightest sound.” Ashley cried. Justin ranted about alien biology. Dave learned about some missing/edited footage that was vital for understanding the movie's plot!

This week, Dave, Justin, and Ashley watched Dune 2. Here’s the official synopsis:  “Paul Atreides unites with Chani and the Fremen while seeking revenge against the conspirators who destroyed his family. Facing a choice between the love of his life and the fate of the universe, he must prevent a terrible future only he can foresee.” Ashley isn’t convinced that Christopher Walken should have been in this film. Dave relived some childhood lamprey trauma. Just had a lot to say about angry anuses.

This week, Justin, Dave, and Ashley watched Holiday in the Vineyards. Here’s the synopsis. “While on a secret job for his mother's wine company, a man falls for the widow whose place he's renting. She is struggling to keep the local vineyard running, but the truth may spoil their yuletide romance.” Justin was bothered by the chin-kissing, and the unnecessary slandering of Fiat. Dave was amazed that everyone was so quick to forgive the morally bankrupt lying liar protagonist. Ashley was freaked out at the wanton destruction of snowboards, and the obvious shoehorning of Christmas into this film.

This week, Justin, Dave, and Ashley watched Rumor Has It. Here’s the synopsis. “Living in New York City, Sarah (Jennifer Aniston) must make the cross-country trip back to her home state of California for the wedding of her younger sister (Mena Suvari). Once with her family, Sarah learns some interesting things from her grandmother (Shirley MacLaine), including the family's inspirational ties to the famous film "The Graduate." But all this leads to millionaire Beau Burroughs (Kevin Costner), and Sarah wants answers -- especially since Burroughs might be her real father.” The team is joined this week by Jake and Ranke for the LAST EVER regularly scheduled episode of Why Are People Watching This?. Everyone found this to be a.... problematic film. Whether it's the incest or the gaslighting, there were lots of reasons to squirm. Dave tried to find some sort of message in the film, but even an extra large bag of red yard couldn't help him connect the dots. Jake was befuddled and confused. Ranke found all of the characters to be irredeemable - especially Jennifer Aniston. Ashley was amazed by the "old tech" and couldn't believe that there was a time when people used to "call" the "operator" to ask the names/address of people in the "directory". Justin could not believe that the main plot point of this film was the "hilarious" problem of whether the people having sex were possibly father and daughter.

This week, Justin and Dave watched Jexi. Here’s the synopsis. “Phil has a major dependency issue -- he's addicted to his cellphone. He has no friends and his love life is nonexistent. Forced to upgrade to a new phone, Phil soon learns that the latest model comes with Jexi -- an artificial intelligence life coach, virtual assistant and cheerleader. With its help, he begins to get a real life. But as he becomes less dependent on the phone, Jexi starts to morph into a tech nightmare that's determined to keep Phil all to itself." Justin hated the film, labelling it "incel wish fulfillment". Dave didn't like the part with the genitals.

This week, Justin and Dave watched You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah. Here’s the synopsis. “Stacy and Lydia are BFFs who've always dreamed about having epic bat mitzvahs. However, things start to go comically awry when a popular boy and middle school drama threatens their friendship and their rite of passage.” Dave was fascinated by

This week, Justin and Dave watched To Catch A Killer: Here’s the synopsis: "A troubled police officer is recruited by the FBI's chief investigator to help profile and track down a disturbed individual terrorizing Baltimore, Maryland." The main character (Eleanor) in this film behaved so strangely that both Dave and Justin thought she might be a ghost or figment of Lammark's imagination - not actually a real character in the film. That's how fundamentally flummoxing this film was.

This week, Justin, Ashley, and Dave watched Heart of Stone. Here’s the official Netflix synopsis: “Rachel Stone is an intelligence operative, the only woman who stands between her powerful global peacekeeping organization and the loss of its most valuable -- and dangerous -- asset.” Justin did not understand the AI's probability calculations that seemed utterly meaningless. Dave disagreed with the film's idea of what a "field agent" was supposed to be. Ashley loved the message of the film (that Justin and Dave apparently missed altogether).

This week, Justin, Ashley, and Dave watched Fatale. Here’s the official Netflix synopsis: “After a wild one-night stand, a successful sports agent watches his perfect life slowly disappear when he discovers the sexy and mysterious woman he risked everything for is a determined police detective who entangles him in her latest investigation. As he desperately tries to put the pieces together, he falls deeper into her trap, risking his family, his career, and even his life.” Dave coined a new term: side-bum. Ashley found a million plot holes. Justin is pretty sure the screenwriter has some skeletons in his closet.

This week, Justin, Dave, and Ashley watched Happiness for Beginners. Here’s the official Netflix synopsis: “A year after her divorce, 32-year-old Helen Carpenter lets her brother persuade her to sign up for a wilderness