Being selfish isn’t wrong—it’s essential. In this episode of Doing Life Different, divorce coach and author Valerie Jones (“Val”) joins Lesa Koski for a raw, authentic conversation about why women must reclaim the word selfish to thrive after divorce, during midlife transitions, and beyond. Discover how prioritizing yourself leads to deeper connections, stronger faith, and greater service to others.

Val shares her journey of “The Selfish Year,” how she broke free from people-pleasing, and why midlife is the perfect invitation to reinvent your life. If you’ve ever felt guilty for putting yourself first, this conversation will help you shift your mindset, embrace your worth, and live with joy and purpose.

Keywords used naturally: selfish women, empowerment after divorce, midlife reinvention, self-care for women, healing after divorce.

(00:00) Introduction: Why selfish isn’t a dirty word for women

(05:10) Val’s story: Two divorces, breaking cycles, and her “sofa moment”

(12:45) What “The Selfish Year” taught Val about self-care and service

(20:32) Midlife reinvention: Women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s rewriting their story

(28:05) People-pleasing, perfectionism, and the masks women wear

(35:40) Micro changes: How to build courage and create inner safety

(44:18) Becoming the queen of your life (or daughter of the King)

(53:12) Authenticity, humility, and learning to connect without fear

(59:50) Final reflections on joy, faith, and living differently

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• Being “selfish” is actually the pathway to deeper service, joy, and peace.
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• Midlife is an invitation to reinvent your life and align with your true self.
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• People-pleasing often hides fear and prevents real connection.
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• Small “micro changes” help build courage and rewire old patterns.
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• Identity is key: embracing being the queen of your life or daughter of the King transforms mindset and confidence.
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Valerie Jones is a women’s empowerment coach, podcast host, and author of The Selfish Year. After navigating two divorces and healing from an emotionally abusive marriage, Val redefined her life by choosing herself for the first time. She now helps women after divorce and midlife transitions break free from people-pleasing, reclaim their identity, and step into their power. She hosts The Selfish Woman Podcast and leads retreats and coaching programs worldwide.

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• Valerie Jones Website & Coaching: https://valeriejones.ca/
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• The Selfish Year (Book): https://valeriejones.ca/theselfishyear
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• The Selfish Woman Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-selfish-woman/id1598491354
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• Free “Queen of Your Life” Assessment: [insert link]
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• Connect with Lesa Koski: https://lesakoski.com
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