I used to believe I would be found out to be a fake or a phony. That my fatal (invisible) flaw would finally be discovered. It turns out this is not a unique fear. Many people currently feel this, or did feel it at some point in their lives. It’s very common with work, but this podcast focuses on feeling like a fraud with friendships. A lot of us try very hard with our friends: rescuing, fixing, congratulating, consoling, etc. Sometimes it’s very sincere, but other times it’s because we think it’s the “right” thing to do in order to be loved, accepted and labeled as a “good friend.”

This topic was born from a few conversations where I realized we have no guide for keeping friendships going, and for some of us, we lose them even when we try hard to maintain them. Recently one of my clients said, “I don’t know how or why I lose friendships, but I do, and I guess part of me is just used to it.” This wasn’t said from lack of awareness or victimhood; it was said very matter-of-fact. This got me thinking about how many of us have insecurities around friendships, asking “Am I doing enough? Being open enough? Helping out enough?” And, more importantly, “Am I having fun here?”

In the past, I would give the shirt off my back for a friend and still feel it wasn’t enough. I have discovered many others feel the same. In this podcast I dive into how we measure friendship, how self-acceptance plays a big role in how you show up for other people and how you can establish better, more authentic relationships.