Mariya is upset about a misunderstanding with an improv classmate. More young bright comedians are paying attention to the show, much to Mariya's delight. A British man avoids jail time for buying his 14-year-old son a hooker.

Mariya's best friend Ron is in studio to psychoanalyze Mariya and talk politics. Mariya bought a typewriter to help her write more creatively. Ron's unique medical condition.

Ron tries to test Mariya's faith in Obama. Conspiracy theories.

Mariya gives great dating advice. Sean Hannity wants to be waterboarded to prove that its not torture. Peggy Noonan wants to keep walking. Beauty pageants are comedy gold.

Beauty pageants are all about integrity. Mariya is a good spammer. The pig flu is upon us. Jamie Foxx wants Miley Cyrus to do drugs and get chlamydia.

Peter attempts to call in. Islam and Christianity are like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Mariya and VJ dont want to discuss each others past love lives. Gary and Mariya share an embarrassing secret. Mariya and Gary recall fun times with special needs listener Tom Gavin. Fun with infomercials.

Oprah gives the worst commencement speeches and likes to be ridden horsey on all fours. Infomercial stars like to rape and brutalize hookers.

Mariya and Pete discuss musical preferences and pornography. Mariya knows a girl who used to be in porn.

Mariya and Pete appreciate Barack Obamas sense of humor. RNC chairman Michael Steele gives a ridiculous interview to GQ magazine. 14 year old conservative Johnathan Krohn needs to be punched or pantsed.

Mariya hates Ayn Rand. China wants to collect its debt in America. Tom Gavin the special needs listener calls in.