Wild Obedience Man

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 8b

Title: I'm done putting my trust in anyone but Jesus

Description:

It’s 5:41 AM, and this is part two of today’s confessional. I start with Colossians 6:2 and wonder if this counts as carrying anyone’s burden. What follows is a raw, unscripted processing of the Epstein files, conspiracy history, and my years of chasing truth. I trace my journey from early awakenings through Food Inc. and The Tillman Story, into years of corruption rabbit holes that eventually led me to Christ. This episode is a call to stop trusting institutions—and place all trust in Jesus.

I talk about:

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• How 2008 shattered my belief in government, health, and media
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• Getting labeled a conspiracy theorist years before it was mainstream
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• The Facebook video I had to take down—and why it still stings
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• What we do know about Epstein and why it’s maddening
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• My complete disillusionment with politics and false justice
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• Why the only true justice is on an eternal timeline
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• Letting go of trust in the world and anchoring fully in Jesus
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I don’t know if this is gonna be a rant”

04:51 – When the veil was pulled: food, pharma, war, and government

13:40 – The viral video, the phone call, and the forced takedown

21:12 – “Let’s talk about just the straight facts that we know”

28:34 – Why nothing ever changes, no matter how obvious the truth

37:02 – “I just want the truth” — even if it implicates everyone

44:30 – The only place I can put my hope now is in Jesus

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Colossians 6:2 – “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Romans 12:19 – “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”

John 14:6 – “I am the way, the truth, and the life.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

No matter how corrupt this world gets, the truth is safe in Jesus—and justice will be served on His timeline.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 8b — I'm not trusting influencers, politicians, or institutions. I'm placing all my bets on Jesus.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 8a

Title: I don’t want to model yelling for my kids

Description:

It’s 5:08 AM on July 8, and I knew I’d have to record this one. I really didn’t want to. After a long day that ended with a family outing to the Reds game, I ended up yelling at my wife in front of our kids. I’m recording this for them—and for myself. I trace what led up to the moment, how I processed it afterward, and what I’m learning from the modeling I saw growing up. This one’s about pride, apology, and breaking generational patterns.

I talk about:

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• Going to the Reds game and remembering my old fandom
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• How a sweatshirt in the car triggered a full-blown meltdown
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• Yelling at my wife in front of our kids
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• Feeling justified in the moment but convicted afterward
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• Remembering how my dad yelled growing up and how normalized it felt
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• Swallowing my pride and saying sorry that night
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• Wanting to break cycles and model something better for my children
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I don’t want to do this confessional”

05:52 – The Reds game, the rain delay, and an escalating bedtime moment

13:10 – “I snapped” — yelling at my wife and the aftermath in the car

20:15 – Reflections on modeling and what I saw growing up

28:30 – Why I want to be a steady, emotionally grounded man

36:44 – The part I didn’t want to face: saying sorry to my kids

42:11 – Final prayer for healing, restoration, and generational change

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Matthew 6:16–18 – “When you fast… do not look somber as the hypocrites do”

Psalm 103:8 – “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger…”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

I want to model a better way for my kids—not just reacting out of what I saw growing up, but walking in emotional steadiness, repentance, and love.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #52 — I never saw my dad say sorry for yelling. I want to be the one who does.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 7g

Title: Snippets from inside the Mass

Description:

This is another raw audio segment from Sunday Mass at Our Lady of Victory. It includes ambient sounds from the liturgy, Eucharistic preparation, and songs. I’m not offering commentary here—just sharing a bit more context from the environment that shaped my reflections in previous episodes. Listen only if you’re curious. This is not the full Mass, just a slice.

I talk about:

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• Nothing—this is live ambient Mass audio only
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• Liturgy portions and hymns heard in real time
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• Snippets from Eucharistic prayers
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• Communion prep and worship moments
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• The sonic texture of the church space
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Worship begins: liturgy and song

04:20 – Eucharistic prayer and consecration segment

08:55 – Communion hymns and congregational singing

12:30 – Closing lyrics and ambient exit

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

None quoted directly by me

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Sometimes presence is the point.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7g — Just the sounds of worship.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 7f

Title: Caught a slice of Mass at Our Lady of Victory

Description: This is a partial live recording from Sunday Mass at Our Lady of Victory—my childhood parish. I hit record mid-service, not to capture the full thing, but just to document the Gospel reading and part of the homily that stirred some reflections. It ties directly into the two prior episodes (7d and 7e), especially my response to how the 72 disciples were described. Listen only if you want the full context for where my head and heart were during this stretch.

I talk about:

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• Attending Mass for the first time since coming back
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• Luke 10 being the exact Gospel reading
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• Why I decided to record mid-service
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• Tension around how the 72 disciples were presented
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• Feeling like it was a missed opportunity for lay empowerment
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Gospel reading begins: Luke 10 – the 72 sent out

02:45 – Homily commentary links the 72 to clergy

06:00 – Cultural commentary on fireworks, freedom, and faith

09:50 – Final reflections on peace, power, and the Kingdom

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Luke 10 – Jesus sends out the 72

Galatians 6 – Boasting only in the cross

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Even a small recording like this can carry weight if it helps you wrestle with truth.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7f — A quick listen from the pews that stirred up more than expected.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 7e

Title: Felt like a missed opportunity, Part 2

Description: I’m following up after church at Our Lady of Victory—the same parish where I went to grade school. Today’s Gospel reading was Luke 10:9, the exact passage that marked the beginning of my journey back to Jesus years ago. But I left feeling frustrated again. The homily emphasized Catholic hierarchy—12 apostles as bishops, 72 as priests—without empowering the rest of us to live as disciples. I looked up the Greek word for disciple: mathētēs, meaning “learner.” That hit me hard, because that’s exactly what CRUMB is. I’m learning from Jesus one crumb at a time.

I talk about:

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• The word mathētēs and what it revealed about discipleship
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• How the priest's framing felt like a missed opportunity for the laity
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• My continued frustration with Catholic culture and passivity
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• How CRUMB connects to daily learning from Jesus
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• My heart for activating everyday believers to go and make disciples
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• My intention to post the full homily for context
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• The moment I realized I’m not trying to build something—just be obedient
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Remember this Greek word: mathētēs—it means learner.”

01:30 – “I’m following up on my little tirade after church…”

03:44 – “Aren’t we all called to make disciples?”

06:15 – “This is what CRUMB is: Jesus teaches me every day.”

08:32 – “If that’s you listening—thanks. I’m just trying to be obedient.”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Luke 10:9 – “Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’”

Luke 10:20 – “Rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

Matthew 28:19 – “Go and make disciples of all nations…”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Discipleship isn’t reserved for clergy—it’s for anyone willing to learn from Jesus and go live it out.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7e — Just trying to follow Jesus one crumb at a time.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 7d

Title: Felt like a missed opportunity

Description: It’s July 6, and after working out I felt like I was supposed to go to church—Our Lady of Victory, my old Catholic parish and grade school. It was the first time we’ve gone to church since being back, and wouldn’t you know it, the gospel reading was Luke 10:9—the exact verse that led me back to Christ years ago. But what happened next kind of wrecked me. The priest’s homily equated the 12 apostles to bishops and the 72 to priests, and never mentioned that we’re all called to make disciples. It felt like he was only preaching to the clergy. Maybe I’m wrong, but it just hit me wrong.

I talk about:

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• Going back to my childhood Catholic parish for Mass
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• Why Luke 10:9 is significant in my journey
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• The homily's focus on hierarchy
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• My reaction to the idea that discipleship is just for clergy
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• Why I believe everyone is called to the Great Commission
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• Feeling conflicted coming out of church
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I don’t wanna embarrass myself here…”

01:08 – “Wouldn’t you know it—the reading is Luke 10:9”

02:15 – “He equated the 12 apostles to bishops and the 72 to priests”

03:12 – “Aren’t we all called to be disciples?”

04:05 – “It felt like the priest was just seeing himself in the story”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Luke 10:9 – “Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If the call to make disciples is only for clergy, we’re missing the point—and the mission.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7d — Felt like a missed opportunity, but maybe God’s still using it to wake me up.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 7c

Title: I know this is a trap

Description:

I recorded this right after God gave me the clearest sign—Take up your cross—through a video from Sahid. But I’ve been here before. I’ve felt the fire and still walked back into the flesh. So I’m pre-praying. I’m naming the trap before I fall into it again. I confess how easy it is to feel seen by God and still ignore what He’s asking. That’s why I’m building Crumb. Because even with these divine moments, the daily, unseen obedience is still hard.

I talk about:

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• The “trap” after a God wink
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• Why confirmation doesn’t equal completion
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• The difference between feeling loved and staying obedient
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• My desire for microscopic integrity with Christ
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• The root problem behind cultural decay
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• Why I’m mad, and why I’m building Crumb to fight back
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I’m pre-praying something right now. I know this is a trap.”

00:38 – “He showed up. He fathered me. And I still might not do the thing.”

01:30 – “I suck at it! I suck at it! But that’s where life is found.”

02:05 – “The answer’s not what you want, but it’s real.”

02:40 – “Okay, calm down, go home, and go do the thing.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Even a miracle won't override the need for obedience—it's still on me to follow through.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7c — I know this is a trap… and I’m naming it before I fall.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 7b

Title: Take up your cross

Description:

Three minutes after recording Episode 7a, I got a WhatsApp video from Sahid at a Catholic church in Freetown, Sierra Leone. The camera pans for just a second—and there it is: a blue shirt that says, Take up your cross. After everything I just confessed, after all the wrestling, God sends a wink that only He could send. That’s why I document this. That’s why I keep going.

I talk about:

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• Sahid’s church video from Sierra Leone
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• The blue shirt with “Take up your cross”
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• Why these moments matter to my walk
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• What to say to skeptics who think it’s coincidence
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• The shift from shame to joy in real time
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• Why I’m finally documenting these signs after 8 years
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “You wanna know how God works?”

00:45 – Sahid pans the camera left… and a blue shirt says “Take up your cross”

01:40 – “This happened. Then this happened. You make your own assessment.”

02:25 – “I thought he’d be mad at me… he sends love from church”

03:00 – “Let’s take up the cross. Let’s deny the flesh. Let’s be obedient in the unseen.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

God confirms in the wildest ways—if we’re willing to look and stay open.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7b — He’s listening. Take up your cross.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 7a

Title: Make my yeses my yeses and my noes my noes

Description:

It’s July 6th, 6:04 AM, and this one’s a full-body confessional. I start with Romans 8:6 and spiral into one of the hardest patterns in my life—saying things I don’t follow through on. From small unseen commitments like sending Sahid a GPT login, to broken boundaries around Twitter and time, I confess how deeply this pattern has eroded self-trust and obedience. Mid-rant, a string of blue trucks drives by. I believe God’s affirming this is a core fracture that must be healed. I pray hard for a new heart—one that honors my word, even when no one’s watching.

I talk about:

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• Romans 8:6 and obsession with self as a spiritual dead-end
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• Resentment around how truth is only accepted from certain voices
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• Why I’ve struggled my whole life to follow through on small commitments
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• A raw confession about not honoring my word to Sahid
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• Patterns of procrastination, over-promising, and ego-driven prioritization
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• The spiritual weight of disobedience in the unseen
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• A gut-level prayer asking God to create a clean heart and redeem lost time
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “This one's gonna be a messy one…”

01:15 – Romans 8:6 from The Message: self-focus is a dead end

06:40 – “I suck at keeping my yeses my yeses and my noes my noes”

18:28 – “Blue truck. Another blue truck. Double blue truck…”

30:55 – “It builds self-trust when you honor your own word—even when no one sees it”

43:42 – Prayer: “Create in me a clean heart, oh God… Redeem the time”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

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• Romans 8:6 – “The mind governed by the flesh is death…”
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• Matthew 5:37 – “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’”
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• Psalm 51:10 – “Create in me a clean heart, O God…”
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🧠 Core Takeaway:

What I call “small” obedience might be the very thing God’s waiting on to unlock everything else.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7a — Lord, make me into a man whose yes is yes and no is no—even when no one sees it but You.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 6b

Title: A specific line for the marginalized

Description:

Just a short follow-up to this morning's episode. After running my transcript through GPT and Groq, an idea bubbled up: What if I launched a specific line of merch where 100% of profits go to the marginalized? That way I can explore obedience, generosity, and structure without blowing the whole system up. It might be the middle path.

I talk about:

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• Using GPT and Groq to help clarify direction
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• The idea of a focused merch line with 100% of profits donated
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• Why this feels like a manageable compromise
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• The next steps of discernment and conversations before launching
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “You know me, I did my little Chumb transcript into Chataputee…”

00:18 – Groq's idea: a dedicated merch line for the marginalized

00:30 – “I like that idea a lot. Gonna experiment with that.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Maybe the answer is not all or nothing—maybe it’s one specific stream set aside to give it all away.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E6b — A focused line for the marginalized might be the win-win I’ve been praying for.