Emily and Ky went so far off the rails the last time they recorded, they came full circle and responsibly recorded another episode! Or at least half of one! They might have done that this time around, too, but you’ll have to subscribe to their (haunted) patreon at the $1 level in order to know. But what you can know is that Emily was deprived of playgrounds almost her entire elementary school career, and Ky was sheltered. Also Emily liked to throw jump ropes into a muddy abyss, and Ky was a cat in a corner. Were either of them cool? Place your bets!

Ok so Emily watched Little Shop of Horrors like two months ago, and Ky watched it last night, and their special guest whose name they drew out of a hat is like actually a fan, and your hosts got suuuuuper crossfaded, and, well, here we go! Does this musical feature the song, “My Pal Foot Foot” by the Shags? What is the proper protocol if you give someone money to play a slot machine with and they win? Is the dentist really Steve Martin? Are surgeons sociopaths? Is the plant horny? All this plus time dilation!

Emily and Ky are continuing to be confused by Stuart Little. Important notes include, you cannot accidentally sail a fucking boat, a flagrant refusal to consider Snowbell’s sentience, who Nathan Laine is, and elementary school classic: The Mouse and the Motorcycle. Also we gotta dig into it. Is this movie a metaphor? Did no one consider the ramifications of saying mice are bad at paperwork???

The gang’s all here, so let’s start little! Your hosts are little whores, little hoes, and it’s all downhill from there! What’s weirder? Adopting a mouse, and not telling anybody, or marrying a cat and telling the internet? This episode is full of surprises! Do we get through the whole movie? Absolutely not, so tune in next week for part 2! Did I mention Emily and Ky respect women?

Emily and Ky just need to dig into this, ok? Or maybe just Emily does. It’s complicated. It’s silly. It’s a cultural anomaly that felt eternal and unchanging. It’s Christian alternative rock from the early aughts! Tune in for technical difficulties, computer struggles, youth group deep dives, controversial teen hang-outs, and that all-important question, were the guys in Relient K ok?? We can’t know, because Emily never asked.

Emily and Ky are still on the beach. In fact, they may still be on the beach to this day! No one can know. And today they’re sharing with you a film that has them all fired up for all the wrong reasons: The Gymnast. How can a film hit on so many niche references to a hyper specific era of a tiny sub culture, and still feel so utterly out of touch, and unrelatable? Well, at least it’s not queer baiting (spoiler alert!). Get ready for poor acting, cringey sex scenes, wandering plot lines, and the most absurd end credits scene of all time. Thank God for that third margarita!

Emily and Ky are treating themselves to a relaxing and rejuvenating beach day…but hard hitting moguls that they are, they’re obviously recording a podcast while they’re out there. Join them for adventures in margarita procurement, breakfast pontification, a last-minute topic change, taking a chance on some sketchy memories of a movie they watched two and a half months ago, and the kind of deep, thoughtful theological takes you can only come to after years of healing your religious trauma by doing shrooms. Also they have beef. But not really!!! Unless you don’t follow them on Instagram. 😒

Emily and Ky are waxing nostalgic about their overnight camp days! Girl Scout camp, and Jesus camp shenanigans, and of course, those amazing camp songs! Why did people die in so many of Emily’s? Why do none of these songs make sense? Is it time for a whole new generation of songs based entirely around “Icecream Paint Job”? Yes, obviously. They’re also sharing an exclusive first look at those top patreon tiers! Remember, no one will be mad if you steal your friends’ phones and Venmo us!

Emily and Ky have more to say about how utterly bizarre it is to care more about an old document than a human life, how museums are full of stolen shit, and how the nerdy guy is better than the arrogant jerk every fucking time. This movie is wild. Anyway, abolish prisons.

Apparently Emily and Ky have never done National Treasure because Ky finds Nicholas Cage’s face to be annoying. Or maybe it’s his hair?? Anyway, your favorite imbibers have a lot to say about fetishizing historical objects, the banality of nationalism, Nicholas Cage’s acting skills, and that time in 2005 Emily and her brother committed their own heist. It’s a two-parter, so come back next week!