As we get older, many of us reflect on what has happened in the past and maybe lessons learned. Maybe we would do things differently, maybe we wouldn’t. Maybe we’d choose a different path. Maybe we wouldn’t. Hindsight is 20/20 vision so what advice might you give to your younger self?

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So many plans have had to be shelved, or have needed to morph into something else because of the COVID-19 situation. It can feel incredibly frustrating, disappointing and infuriating. However, long term, these feelings do not help us to be resourceful or solution-orientated.  What can we do to create thoughts and feelings which serve us better and help us to move forward?

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A lot of training, counselling and coaching talks about changing our behaviour to get the results we want. However, that just won’t cut the mustard. It starts with our thoughts – the nature of our thinking. Especially when we are going through particularly difficult times in our lives which bring to the fore a myriad of emotions. It’s crucial we understand these emotions and feelings and allow time to process. Sometimes, a lot of time. Moving forward will then mean paring it back to our thoughts and being consciously aware of how they can either help or hinder us.

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As adults, we’re perhaps finding it a challenge to navigate the myriad of emotions which are coming to the fore as these strange ole COVID-19 times continue. There is no road map and we take each day as it comes. Goodness knows though what it’s like to be a child during this situation as they try to understand this new normal that is unfolding. As adults, it’s our role to help guide them. But first, we need to ensure we’ve got our thinking in check…

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When we’re feeling frustrated, disappointed, anxious or scared, we can very often take these emotions out on the wrong person. They only need to say one thing to be the straw which broke the camel’s back, or know how to push our buttons and bam! They get full-on wrath which is very often unjustified. Misdirected and misplaced emotions are common and none more so than during the current Lockdown situation. We perhaps don’t process the emotions we’re feeling and pare it back to the thoughts they stem from and thus, we vent how we’re feeling to someone which has nothing to do with the original source of the problem. To prevent this from happening, conscious thinking is key.

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Our brain can struggle with the unknown – it can find it challenging and doesn’t like the vulnerability of the unfamiliar. The second stage of the four stages of learning – conscious incompetence – is when we feel most uncomfortable. That’s when we are aware of all that we don’t know and we’re in danger of giving up and walking away. However, we can power through that to the Conscious Competence stage and be well on our way to being Unconsciously Competent – that place when we’re not even thinking about what we’re doing – we’re ‘in the zone’.

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There are always going to be people who we don’t agree with, whose actions we question. This is because we all operate according to our own Mental Maps and individually held values and our choice will reflect that. To think others should behave like us is futile because that’s unrealistic. What is the point in winding ourselves up because other people are not enough like us? Maybe they think we’re not enough like them?! Maybe they just don’t care and are busy getting on with their own lives, not letting it affect them…

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