Women Without Kids

Author, activist, and educator Rachel Cargle, talks about choosing to be childfree as a reflection of the kind of life she wants to live. In the episode we discuss:

-How Rachel’s early childhood influences helped expand her vision for her life path 

-How her mother’s disability made her even more determined to go after what she wanted for herself

-The tools we develop to survive when we are young – and why we need to update them as we mature

-The factors that informed Rachel’s (current!) decision not to become a parent

-Ways to build community and chosen family as women without kids

-The origin story of Rachel’s childfree platform, Rich Auntie Supreme

-The significance of the role of “auntie” in Black and indigenous communities

-Claiming the “childfree” identity as being central to who we are

-How Rachel’s queer, non-monogamous identity intersects with her childfree status

Join me and Rachel on our Celebrate Being Childfree retreat, which is taking place Sept 12-15 2024. Get all the details and sign up to attend in person here and via livestream here.

You can learn more about Rachel and her various projects here, get her book here, and follow her on IG here. Rachel's childfree platform is @richauntiesupreme. 

Stay tuned for a new format and more impactful conversations in Women Without Kids: Season 2!

Therapist and author Kelly McDaniel on the links between non-motherhood and what she calls "mother hunger." In the episode we discuss:

-Kelly’s definition of “mother hunger” and how she came up with the term.

-Why 50% of the population experience mother hunger and how it manifests in issues around food and love.

-What causes mother hunger - and why this is often the result of an epigenetic inheritance.

-Why structural issues make it harder for mothers and babies to bond - and the lifelong attachment issues that can result from this.

-How mother hunger impacts our procreative choices and how we may feel about becoming mothers ourselves.

-The links between mother hunger, anorexia, and being “a-reproductive” (i.e. having no desire to reproduce).

-The impact of a lack of paid parental leave on mother hunger.

-Why choosing not to have a child can be the most “loving” choice if we are aware that our capacity to mother is being compromised.

-Why our materialistic, consumer culture is just another substitute mother - and a way we seek to soothe our mother hunger.

Learn more about Kelly's work HERE and find her book, Mother Hunger, HERE.

Get your copy of Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood HERE.

Rethinking aging as women without kids, with TV host and menopause activist, Stacy London. In the episode we discuss:

-Stacy’s experience of being faced with her biological clock - and being confronted with the finality of menopause. 

-Her friend group getting younger and younger, as all the women her age got married and had kids.

-What longer lifespans in general will do for our procreative potential.

-Why the “grandmother” figure is the only valid role for older women in our society - and how women without kids can embody grandma energy.

-Why agism is often cloaked sexism. 

-The different factors - genetic and otherwise - that determine how we experience menopause. 

-Why Gen X is changing the script about what it means to be an “older woman.”

-Why information is power when it comes to navigating menopause – and how to advocate for what you need.

-Why Stacy decided her product company, State of Menopause, was not the best way to help people in this transition, and why she is shifting her focus to education going forward.

Follow Stacy on Instagram to learn more about her work @stacylondonreal.

You can pre-order your copy of Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood HERE—and enter your order details to receive a free book club guide and be entered into a prize draw to win one of 10 limited edition "Sisterhood of the Selfish C*nts"  tote bags.

It's time to focus on less on what potential parents want and more on what the children of the future need, says human rights lawyer and founder of the Fair Start Movement, Carter Dillard. In the episode we discuss:

-The origins and the mission of the Fair Start Movement.

-Why all children deserve a “fair start” in life, from both an economic and an ecological perspective. 

-The concept of “procreative ethics” and the policy and ideological changes that are needed to support this.

-Why having kids is not a personal matter - since deciding to create another human being cannot be framed as an autonomous act.

-The ethics of China’s lapsed one-child policy, and whether governments have a right to interfere in people’s reproductive lives.

-The thinking behind the three pillars of the Fair Start Movement: “parental readiness,” “birth equity,” and “smaller families.”

-The human rights issues with “pro-growth” economics - which is what tells us we need “more new people” entering the economy in order to support the aging population. 

-Why Japan's plummeting birth rate is framed as a crisis – despite the country being ranked number 6 in the world when it comes to quality of life.

-Their differing approaches to family formation being an early indicator of the rift between Princes William and Harry (!)

-Words of comfort and encouragement for people who would like to have a child, and who are concerned about the future of our planet.

Learn more about Carter and his work with the Fair Start Movement HERE. 

You can also pre-order your copy of Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood HERE—and enter your order number to receive a free reading group guide for the book.

Childfree advocate Rachel Diamond on the complex reasons more women are opting for irreversible sterilization procedures. In the episode we discuss:

-What a “bilateral salpingectomy” involves - and why Rachel decided to go this route versus other sterilization procedures.

-Why her requests for sterilization were initially turned down, and all the reasons she she was given for this.

-Her experiences with other forms of long-term birth control and experiencing an ectopic pregnancy while fitted with a copper IUD.

-All the different factors that led to Rachel’s realization that she never wanted to have children of her own.

-Why her traditional “white-picket-fence” upbringing meant she never questioned whether she would become a mom - and the relief of realizing that not having children was an option for her. 

-How watching her friends struggle with pregnancy and postpartum depression solidified her feelings on the subject.

-Women having the ability to assess their parental readiness - and plan accordingly - being a marker of human progress.

-The uptick in requests for sterilization procedures following the overturning of Roe v. Wade. 

-The impact of more people pursuing more creative and meaningful - but less stable - career paths on our reproductive choices. 

-Entering the dating pool sterilized - and being clear upfront with a potential life partner about your feelings on having kids.

You can follow Rachel on TikTok and Instagram for more on her childfree journey.

You can also pre-order your copy of Women Without Kids and enter your order details HERE to receive your free book club guide to accompany the book.

It is time to revalue the unpaid labor of childrearing, says Jenny Brown—feminist organizer and author of Birth Strike: The Hidden Fight Over Women's Work. In the episode we discuss:

-Jenny’s background campaigning for birth control access led to her deciding to write her book, Birth Strike.

-Ominous insights into the forces that led to the overturning of Roe v. Wade roughly a year after we recorded this interview.

-Abortion being legalized during the post-war “baby boom” of 1955-1975—a time when politicians were concerned about overpopulation.

-Why the founder of the official “Birth Strike movement” changed their message in 2020 to better reflect their environmental stance (not having kids in protest to conditions NOT as a comment on overpopulation).

-The systemic issues behind the current spontaneous “birth strike” being staged by women without kids globally.

-The impact of witnessing our mothers’ struggle on the procreative outcomes of modern women without kids.

-The roots of the Covid childcare crisis, and why this had been a long time coming.

-The policy change and ideological shifts that would enable more people to confidently embark on the path of parenthood.

-Why higher wages across the caregiving spectrum, and higher status being given to these jobs, are essential for the thriving of future generations.

-Jenny’s obvious, clear-cut solutions to the issue of the aging population!

You can learn more about Jenny Brown and her work and order your copy of Birth Strike HERE and follow her on Twitter HERE.

You can pre-order your copy of Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood HERE—and enter your order number to receive a free book club guide and be entered into a prize draw to win a limited edition tote.

It's time to teach kids about human sexuality beyond the procreative act, says sexuality educator, Justine Ang Fonte. In the episode we discuss:

-Why sexuality education tends to reduce our bodies to their reproductive function - and what is problematic about this 

-Why human sexuality is equally about pleasure, intimacy, agency, and personal power, and how to talk to kids about these things

-Justine’s introduction to teaching sex ed and why she’s so passionate about enacting reform in this area

-Why all non-procreative sex - including queer sex, masturbation, and sex work - is still so stigmatized 

-Why we can’t have a real conversation about consent without centering pleasure - since consent begins with asking, “does this feel good?” 

-Why male sexual entitlement stems from the notion that women’s bodies belong first and foremost to society as the means of reproduction 

-Why talking about a “gender-full” world is part of dismantling reductive gender roles in the realm of human sexuality 

-The role of intimacy education and teaching about healthy relationships in the context of sex ed. 

-Why Justine does not expect to see a truly sexually liberated society in her lifetime - and why this won’t stop her continuing to work towards this 

You can learn more about Justine and her work HERE and follow her on Instagram @imjustineaf

You can also pre-order your copy of Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood HERE—and enter your order details to receive a free reading group guide for the book

Author, activist, and doula adrienne maree brown on mapping our procreative choices against the emerging needs of our species. In the episode we discuss:

-The concept of “emergence” as a way to think about creation and contribution beyond procreation

-Why we are both wary of describing our books as our “babies”

-What the drop off in the birth rate globally shows us about how society is evolving - particularly in terms of prescribed patriarchal gender roles 

-The impact of increased acceptance of queerness on baby-having and baby-rearing

-What it means to engage in “science fictional behavior” when considering the future of our species and our planet

-What our responses to the pandemic showed us about what we believe is at the center of life and whose needs we prioritize as a result

-Why our collective addiction to accumulation extends to pro-natalist ideas about family formation 

-Why the concept of bodily autonomy often does not extend to our procreative potential - and who decides who and what our bodies are “for” 

-How being introverts has influenced both of our feelings about becoming parents 

-Adrienne’s “big gay theory” for saving the world

Learn more about adrienne's work HERE, and check out her new book, Fables and Spells HERE, and find her podcast, How to Survive the End of the World HERE.

You can pre-order your copy of Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood HERE—and enter your order details to receive a free reading group guide to accompany the book.

Author, podcaster, and childfree OG Meghan Daum on finding meaning and fulfillment when biological family is not the center of your life. In the episode we discuss:

Why we are so sentimental about family - and why it’s so hard to remove our rose-tinted spectacles when it comes to the subject of family life 

-The historical risk to life of both “going to war” (for men) and “childbirth” (for women) - and how these experiences are romanticized 

-The loneliness and the gifts of being an outlier, and making life choices that diverge from the “norm”

-The influence of Meghan’s upbringing - and her basic personality - on her choice not to become a mother 

-What made her question this decision, and how she navigated her ambivalence

-Why choosing not to have kids is an acknowledgement of how hard it is to be a parent 

-Meghan’s feelings about the miscarriage she experienced at age 41

-How lucky she feels to derive enough meaning from her work in “the world of ideas” not to feel the need to procreate 

-Her experience of working in the foster care system, and her wider thoughts about fostering and adoption 

-How rapid progress in terms of technology and globalization have widened the “generation gap” and 

-Meghan’s thoughts on aging without kids, and why we need a more progressive conversation about how to manage the aging population

You can find links to all Meghan's books HERE, listen to her podcast HERE, subscribe to her Substack HERE, and learn more about The Unspeakeasy, a new community for free-thinking women, HERE.

Pre-order your copy of Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood HERE - and enter your order number to receive a FREE reading group guide top accompany the book.