I Can See For Miles And Milestones!

In Which We Discover That Kitty Pryde Is Just Like Indian Food, She Goes Right Through You, That Ororo Likes Countries Like She Likes Her Men: Big Enough That They Don't Trigger Her Debilitating Claustrophobia, And That With A Large Enough Wolverine Colossus Could Move The World!

Mystique Has Seen Everything Travolta Has Ever Done -- She Even Kinda Digged "Wild Hogs"!

"Mind Out of Time!"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

Jam A Firework Wherever A Spider Can!

In Which We Learn That Danger Room Brunch is the Deadliest Brunch of All, That Pillsbury Breads Should Never Be Substituted for any Feminine Hygiene Products, And That Somehow Walter Mondale's Candidacy Was Even More Disastrous in X-Men Continuity!

Bobby Darrin Wouldn't Last Three Seconds in a Mutant Apocalypse!

"Days of Future Past"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

Me Too, Marvel!

In Which We Find That There Is Nothing Like The Bond That Forms Between Two Men And A Nice Large Stump, That Smokey The Bear Is Mostly A Symbol Of The Ineffectiveness of Civilization In Battling the Elemental Might of Fire. And Also, He Is A Total Hoser, And That The Toughest Battles of Wolverine's Early Years Were Keeping Three People Under A Single Comforter!

Hey Mama! You're Listening To This Podcast, I Am In This Podcast... We Should Make Beautiful Music Together!

"Rage!"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

Easy Peasey, Writer Weezie!

In Which We Discover That When Your Hands Are Can Openers Every Problem Is A Can, That Shaman Often Calls Upon The Four Winds and the Spirit Moon To Keep His Toes Dry And Chafe-Free, And That Snowbird Defies Stereotypes of Both Traditional Femininity And Feminine Voice Work!

Wow, Canada Has Upwards of Ten Provinces!

"...Something Wicked This Way Comes!"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

All That Glitters Is Not X-Men Gold!

In Which We Learn That Nightcrawler Can Finally Ditch His Fake ID, That Kitty Pryde Has The Drinking Habits Of A Bitter Joan Crawford, And That It's Hard Out Here For A Sorcerer Supreme, Getting Enough Magic For His Rent!

Storm Gets Only 78% Of The Praise Of Her Male X-Men Counterparts!

"Nightcrawler's Inferno"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Romita, Jr., Inks by Bob McLeod, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

Once You Go Black Panther...

In Which We Discover That Shi'Ar Culture May Overvalue Their Novelty Snow Globes, That Scott Now Has Both Rose Colored Glasses And Boots Made For Walking, And That One Can Not Underestimate The Value of A Well Placed Jacket Flap To Get Around The Comics' Code!

Wait, Remind Me. Exactly Which Stage Of Grief Is The Supervillain Montage?

"Elegy"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

Don't Cry, We'll Be Back Again Some Month!

In Which We Find That Five Billion Is Actually The Loneliest Number, That The Only Way For The X-Men To Save Jean Is To Go The Full Monty, And That Gladiator Does Not Want You To Hate Him Because He Is Beautiful!

You Can Forget Their Weird Tears, Because The Shi'Ar Also Poop Ampersands!

"The Fate of the Phoenix!"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Jim Salicrup and Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

Retaining The Right To Reserve Judgment Day!

In Which We Learn That The Greatest Threat To Most Alien Civilizations Is That No One Can Pronounce Anyone Else's Name, That Parental Guilt Trips Scale With The Amount of Omnipotence One Possesses So Mathematically You Actually Can Never Be Good Enough, And That No, Xavier Can Not Let Scott Have Even Just This One!

Will We Ever Learn The Difference Between C&C Music Factory and Snap!? Probably Not.

"Child of Light and Darkness!"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

Got A... Stranger Magic!

In Which We Discover That Nightcrawler Knows That Dying Is Easy But It Is Comedy That Is Hard, That Ironically Peter Rasputin Is Currently Reading The Golden Bough, And That In The 12-Step Program For Omnipotence, It Is That Amends Step That Really Eats Up All Your Time!

Alas, Bobby, The Lowest Cut Of All Is To Be Ranked Below Angel!

"Dark Phoenix"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com

Heck It, We'll Do It Live Action!

In Which We Learn That Wolverine Ain't Heavy He's My Mutantly-Enhanced Mass Brother, That Beneath Colossus' Metal Skin Beats The Heart of An Easily Distracted Poet, And That If Storm Hears One More "Let It Go" refrain from Nightcrawler, He's A Dead Elf!

Always Avoid Any Power Sharing Agreement With Jean Grey!

"Too Late The Heroes!"

Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

And Then Check us out at

www.x-aspirations.com

And send us comments at [email protected]

The closing music is "Bog Songs" by The Blaggards,

provided by Mevio's Music Alley. Check it out at music.mevio.com