You Guys are No Fun

Something-something-soooomethiiinnng, here in Duckburg, blah blah blah blah blaaaaaah blaaaaaahhhh, it’s a duck blur…  Ahhh, the nostalgia of a 24-year-old theme song from your childhood.  Doesn’t that bring back memories?  …or does it make you upset that Ducktales is old enough to get a discount on car insurance?  Just admit it, you’re old.  But who cares? We have a new Ducktales now!  Today we’re taking a trip down memory lane and discussing our love of the original NES title. Its awesome platforming and sound track from Mega Man sound programmer, Yosihiro Sakaguchi (sound it out) are what make it one of our all-time favorites.  We then dive into the money-pit-of-awesomeness that Ducktales Remastered delivers.  With it’s new levels, boss battles, and beautify colored cartoon graphics, the remastered version is a powerful example of Penny Arcade’s Mega Man 9 Effect.

You’ll also get to hear our hopes and dreams for the Ouya, our appreciation for Overclock Remix (check out the remix of the Moon level), a Mega Ran name drop, and Dirk’s hatred of Scientifically Accurate Ducktales (only because he can’t stomach it).  If you plan on buying an Xbox One, you won’t like what we have to say, but we can’t stop looking at the train wreck that is the Xbox management team.  Regardless, we encourage you to set aside 15 bucks for after the episode. Just leave it on the night stand and we’ll grab it on the way out. So without further ado we present to you Episode Four of the Casual Cowards of Gaming.  Ahhhh Wooooo Ooooooo!!!

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What do you think of when you reminisce about the Nintendo 64? Hours upon hours of GoldenEye? Trying to convince everyone that your use of Odd Job isn’t cheating? It is, by the way. Do you remember all of the time spent trying to find all of the golden skulltulas on Ocarina of Time? Or racing your friends all day on Mario Kart 64? Do you think back to smashing the huge brass balls of an anthropomorphic stove that’s being controlled by two stoned fire demons that you just pissed on after getting drunk? No? Then what the hell were you playing, because we were playing Conker’s Bad Fur Day. So sit back and listen as we recall the most offensive game in the N64 library.

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What do eight Robot Masters, two white-haired scientists, an awesome 8-bit soundtrack, and an ambiguous man/boy robot have in common? Obviously we’re talking about Mega Man 2, silly!  It’s the “Choose your Own Adventure” book of games where you get to choose between the Brady Bunch panel of bad guys, with Dr. Wily as Alice, cleaning up.  Which Robot Master was your first? Crash Man, Metal Man, Flash Man? Or do you take on the dreaded Quick Man stage with those god awful lasers? If you do, you’re a better man than I.

Showing up in most online top ten NES games lists and boasting a challenging and rewarding platform experience, this is a game that everyone has stories about… except Rian.  Which power up is most effective for each Robot Master? How do you reach that elevated energy tank? And how the hell did we figure this game out before the Internet?  We bring in special guest Ryan the Lou until Skype shits the bed and we lose him.  Today we’ll talk about Rian’s rage quitting, Lou’s insight on Nintendo Power, Dirk’s confusion of Crash Man and Flash Man, and the debate over robot errors and honoki cypress.

So join us as we get ready to mow through some of the most memorable Robot Masters and the march up to Castle Greyskull… er… Dr. Wily’s Castle.  Enjoy the second episode of the Casual Cowards of Gaming: Mega Man 2.

Casual Cowards of Gaming in iTunes

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We remember when you could actually buy a new NES cartridge and the excitement of Nintendo announcing Super Mario Bros. 2.  After four long years we’d found every warp, secret area, and exploit in the Mushroom Kingdom. After four long years we would finally have the next chapter in the Mario canon.  We could not wait until our return to the Mushroom Kingdom to wreck house!!!  Mario 2 hit, we fired it up and did we get a hearkening back to our nostalgia?

NO!!!

We found ourselves unceremoniously dropped out of a floating door into the world of Subcon, trying to figure out why Peach and Toad no longer needed saving.  Greeted by old familiar faces but introduced to all new game mechanics, enemies and elements that would become staples of the series.  While this was a departure from the game that we had become familiar with (in that it was a re-skinning of Doki Doki Panic), we loved it and it has become one of our favorite games to date.   Now, 25 years later, you can listen to us absolutely ruin it.  Welcome to the Casual Cowards of Gaming’s first episode: Super Mario Bros 2.

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