You Keep Me Sane

We’re revisiting connection - and layering in self-worth. We talk about why these two are inseparable, how midlife logistics (kids, caregiving, energy, perimenopause) change how we connect, and what to do when loneliness starts to chip at your worth. We share real stories of moving “home” and still feeling out of place, rebuilding identity, and redefining what counts as connection so it nourishes (not drains) you.

• The loop between worth and connection: shaky worth makes us hide; disconnection then lowers worth further.
• Loneliness ≠ unworthiness: it’s a signal, not a verdict - and why vulnerability (admitting “I feel lonely”) often unlocks support.
• Redefining connection: letting small touchpoints (a meme, a voice note, a 15-minute coffee) count.
• Letting go to make room: grieving old forms of connection so new, right-sized ones can grow.
• Self-connection first: anchoring in “who I am now” to choose connections that affirm your worth.
  
  
  

• Name it: “I feel lonely” is not a flaw.
• Start small: one message, one invite, one walk-and-talk - it all counts.
• Stop pegging your worth to a social calendar.
• Choose people and formats that leave you feeling more you.
• Vulnerability (“this is where I’m at”) often brings people closer.

Did this resonate? Share the episode with a friend who might need a nudge to reach out. DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note. Tell us: What’s one small way you’ll connect this week - with yourself or someone else?

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
Being honest with yourself sounds simple - but it’s one of the hardest things to do. Because when we drop the excuses and really look at our patterns, it often means admitting we’re the problem. And that truth stings.

In this Sanity Check, we explore the discomfort of self-honesty, why we avoid it, and how facing it can shift everything-from relationships to careers to daily habits.

Key Discussion Points

• Why being honest with yourself feels so uncomfortable.
• How excuses protect us from change.
• Everyday examples of self-deception (lateness, relationships, careers, friendships).
• The role of self-worth in facing the gap between who we think we are and how we actually show up.
• Why honesty isn’t failure - it’s awareness and the key to growth.
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Excuses may protect you from discomfort, but they also keep you stuck.
• Self-honesty shines a light on patterns you can actually change.
• Facing uncomfortable truths is what creates real growth and freedom.
  
  

Join the Conversation

What truth are you avoiding right now? Where might you be telling yourself a story because the real answer feels uncomfortable?

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to DM us or send us a voice note. We love hearing from you.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

This week we get honest about “the grass is greener” mindset - why we pin our happiness on a new place, job, or relationship, and what changes when we stop outsourcing contentment. We share our own stories of chasing locations (Spain, Europe, Australia), the let-down that followed, and the shift to building an inner baseline of self-worth, gratitude, and presence. The takeaway: greener grass isn’t a postcode - it’s a perspective you carry with you.

• Location as identity: How tying worth to a city/country kept us restless - and what happened when the shine wore off.
• Hedonic adaptation: Why the high of “new” fades and we start craving the next thing.
• Comparison traps: Social media and “other people’s lives” that subtly drive our desires.
• The big confrontation: Realising “wherever you go, you take you” (and all your patterns) with you.
• Gratitude as an anchor: Practising daily appreciation to feel fuller where you are.
• Choosing from fullness: Dreaming and moving are still allowed - just not to fix you.
  
  
  

• Name the feeling you’re chasing. Is it freedom, belonging, purpose, adventure, peace? Explore ways to create that feeling here (e.g., new routine, community, hobby, micro-adventures).
• Do the “under-my-feet” audit. List 5 things that are working right now - people, habits, places, tiny joys.
• Gratitude rep: 3 items, daily. Keep it simple and specific (today’s sky, a text from a friend, a warm cup of tea).
• Comparison check: Limit the scroll that triggers “move/flee” urges; follow accounts that ground you.
• Self-worth prompt: “If I believed I was enough as I am, would I still need this change to feel okay?”
• If you still want the move: Great - plan it from stability, not scarcity. Make a values-based list of what the change must support.
  
  
  

What’s the “greener grass” you’ve been eyeing—and what feeling is underneath it? Tell us in a DM or voice note. If this episode helped, please follow, rate, and share it with a friend who needs a reframe today.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
In this Sanity Check, we get real about the adventures we used to have in our 20s and 30s - the flights booked on a whim, the countries we moved to, the people we met in transit, and the sheer freedom of saying yes without worrying about logistics. Somewhere along the way, life shifted. School runs, work deadlines, and financial commitments have made spontaneity harder to come by, and the adventurous parts of ourselves feel tucked away under layers of routine.

But here’s the thing: that spirit of adventure isn’t gone. She’s still in there. Maybe adventure now doesn’t mean moving countries or taking six holidays in a year - maybe it means breaking your routine, dancing in your kitchen, saying yes to something that scares you, or allowing yourself to dream again.

This conversation is your reminder that you’re not too old, too busy, or too fixed to shake things up. Adventure is not just in the past - it’s something we can redefine at every stage of life.

Key Discussion Points

• The freedom and chaos of spontaneous adventures in our 20s and 30s.
• How midlife responsibilities shift the way we experience adventure.
• The loss of spontaneity and why it leaves us feeling stagnant.
• The importance of curiosity, dreaming, and finding small ways to bring back colour and wildness.
• Redefining adventure for this season of life - and giving ourselves permission to embrace it.
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Adventure doesn’t have to look the way it used to — it can be found in small, everyday shifts.
• Curiosity is the spark that leads us back to adventure.
• You’re never too old or too busy to feel lit up again.
• Sometimes, it’s about breaking routine and giving yourself permission to dream.
  
  

Join the Conversation

When was the last time you felt adventurous? What would it take for you to feel that way again? We’d love to hear your version of adventure — drop us a DM or message and share what lights you up.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

“Sorry.” “Please.” “Thank you.” On the surface, these are the pillars of good manners. But how often do we use them as more than politeness? In this episode, we dive into how these everyday words can quietly reveal- and even chip away at- our self-worth. From over-apologising to over-thanking, we explore how habits that look like kindness can actually be signs of shrinking ourselves.

Together, we share personal stories of catching ourselves saying sorry for simply existing, layering too many pleases into requests, or thanking so much it borders on guilt. We also reflect on where these patterns come from - family, culture, childhood conditioning - and how they shape the way we model self-worth to our children.

This isn’t about never saying sorry, please, or thank you again. It’s about learning to use them authentically - because when these words come from self-worth, not insecurity, they hold their true power.

Key Discussion Points

• Why over-apologising often signals low self-worth rather than good manners.
• The hidden meaning behind excessive pleases and thank yous.
• How cultural upbringing and childhood conditioning shape our language habits.
• The fine line between being considerate and shrinking yourself.
• Modeling healthier language (and worth) for the next generation.

Listener Takeaways

• Notice when you’re saying sorry, please, or thank you - is it genuine, or a way of softening yourself?
• Practice swaps like “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.”
• Remember: you’re allowed to take up space, ask for what you need, and exist without apologising.
• Words matter - let them reflect your worth, not your insecurity.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you: which word do you catch yourself overusing—sorry, please, or thank you? And what swap will you try this week? Message us or send a voice note- we love hearing your reflections.

And if you know someone who apologises for breathing, share this episode with them - it might be the reminder they need that they’re already enough.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
We all have our dream locations - the sea breeze, the mountain air, or the buzz of the city. But what happens when you finally get there and still don’t feel the way you thought you would? In this episode, we share our own stories of longing for the “perfect” place and what we discovered along the way.

From Aileen’s dream of the Spanish coastline to Julie’s years of hopping between major cities, we explore how easy it is to pin our happiness and self-worth on external things - and how that rarely delivers what we’re really looking for. Because the truth is, no postcode, no view, and no lifestyle will ever fill the gap if we don’t feel enough as we are.

Key Discussion Points

• Why we often attach our dreams to a location - and why it doesn’t work.
• The hidden fear behind Aileen’s love of the sea.
• Julie’s restlessness across cities like LA, London, and New York.
• How external “backdrops” can distract us from doing the inner work.
• The real question: What feeling do we think the place will give us?
• Why building self-worth from the inside out changes everything.
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Happiness isn’t in a postcode. The sea, mountains, or city can’t fix how you feel inside.
• The backdrop is never the main character. You bring yourself - and your unresolved issues - wherever you go.
• Start now. Instead of waiting for the perfect move, ask yourself what feeling you’re really chasing and find ways to create it today.
  
  

Join the Conversation

Have you ever dreamed of a move, a lifestyle change, or a new location, only to discover you still felt the same once you got there? We’d love to hear your story. Share your thoughts and DM us or drop us a voice note. Your experiences help others feel less alone.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
In this episode we sit down with Nitika, founder of Aila Money, to explore the deep and complicated ties between money and self-worth. From growing up with scarcity to chasing salaries as proof of success, Nitika shares her journey of redefining what financial security really means. We also unpack why the gender wealth gap persists, how confidence and representation shape women’s financial choices, and what it takes to separate your paycheck from your value.

Key Discussion Points

• How early messages linked money to security and self-worth.
• Choosing impact and joy over maximising income.
• Why the gender wealth gap still exists - and the role of self-worth in it.
• The “motherhood tax” and how it ties worth to income.
• Why women actually outperform men when they invest.

Listener Takeaways

• Self-worth and salary are not the same thing - your value isn’t measured in paychecks.
• Confidence and representation matter: if you don’t see it, it’s harder to believe you can be it.
• Money is a tool, not an identity. It gives you choices, freedom, and the ability to design your life.
• Women who invest often outperform men - the challenge is building the confidence to begin.

Links to Aila Money 

https://www.instagram.com/ailamoney

https://www.instagram.com/nitika_moneypt

Aila Money’s 75-Day Financial Fitness Challenge

https://luma.com/4zrg3jiu?locale=en-GB

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your reflections. Have you ever tied your self-worth to your salary? What helped you step back and see money differently? Share your thoughts with us, send us a DM or a voice-note. Your stories always mean so much.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this episode, we get real about comparison - that sneaky reflex that leaves us feeling behind, not enough, or smaller than we really are. It started with a conversation about a new podcast soaring to a million downloads in just weeks, and led us to reflect on how quickly we can slip into the comparison trap.

We talk about why it’s so easy to measure ourselves against others, how social media turbocharges the urge to compare, and the danger it poses to our self-worth and confidence. Most importantly, we share how to shift the focus back to our own journey - to celebrate the resilience, growth, and wins that can’t be measured in numbers.

Key Discussion Points

• The Digit podcast milestone and why it triggered thoughts about comparison.
• The deep roots of comparison - from survival instincts to modern highlight reels.
• How social media amplifies comparison and skews perspective. 
• What happens when comparison chips away at confidence and freezes momentum.
• The powerful reframe: measuring your progress against your own journey instead of someone else’s.
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Comparison is natural — but what you do with it is what counts.
•  Don’t measure your starting line against someone else’s decade of work.
• Social media is a highlight reel — not the whole story.
• Focus on your own progress: resilience, growth, brick-by-brick wins. 
• The only lane that matters is your own.

Join the Conversation

Do you struggle with comparison? We’d love to hear how it shows up for you and how you handle it. Send us a DM or share this episode with someone who needs the reminder to stay in their own lane.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

We dig into our complicated relationship with mistakes - why being wrong can feel threatening, how that ties to self-worth, and what changes when we choose honesty over image. From tween apologies to boardroom dread, to the ways we over-apologise without really owning it, we explore how admitting fault builds trust, lightens the emotional load, and strengthens relationships (including with ourselves).

• Why it’s hard to be wrong: perfection messages at school, and fear of judgment make mistakes feel like a threat to identity.
• Self-worth traps: When your worth is pegged to “being capable/strong/reliable,” being wrong can feel like you are wrong.
• Surface vs. sincere apologies: The difference between smoothing things over (“sorry, but…”) and true accountability (“I was wrong - no excuses”).
• Parenting & modelling: Cheering mistakes, apologising to our kids, and how that normalises repair.
• Trauma & perspective shifts: How big losses recalibrate what matters - and make letting go of “being right” easier.
  
  
  
• Listener takeaways
• Try this reframe: “Being wrong doesn’t make me unworthy - it makes me human.”
• Micro-reps for honesty: Practice small admissions -“You’re right, I forgot” - without scrambling for excuses.
• Notice & name it: When defensiveness rises, ask: Am I defending my point - or my worth?
• Model what you want: Apologise to your kids/partner/friends; show that repair is normal and safe.
• Release the armor: Honesty reduces shame, restores energy, and deepens trust.
  
  
  

We’d love to hear from you: when was the last time you admitted you were wrong? Did it make you feel weaker, or did it actually make you feel stronger? Share your experience with us-send us a DM or a voice note. These are the kinds of stories that remind us we’re not alone, and the more we talk about them, the easier it gets.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re diving into a word that was a complete revelation to us - ambivert. For years we’ve thought in terms of introverts and extroverts, but what if you’re a mix of both? We talk about how our social energy has shifted with age, why surface-level chat feels so draining, and how self-worth helps us choose the connections that truly matter.

Key Discussion Points

• Why saying yes to every coffee date or catch-up can leave you drained.
• The role of self-worth in choosing where you spend your time.
• What it really means to be an ambivert.
• How age, self-growth, and experience change our tolerance for surface-level conversations.
• Lessons we’re passing on to our daughters.

Listener Takeaways

• You don’t need to feel guilty for saying no.
• A smaller, more authentic circle of friends can often bring more fulfilment than a big social network.
• Being an ambivert means you can love connecting with people and still need quiet time to recharge.
• Popularity and numbers (friends, followers, likes) don’t define your worth.
• Choosing consciously where to put your energy helps you show up as your best self.

Join the Conversation
Do you see yourself as an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert? How do you protect your energy when it comes to social life and friendships?
We’d love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM, or share this episode with someone who needs a reminder that a smaller, truer circle is worth so much more.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.