Episode Overview

Is it time to stop chasing “having it all” and start redefining what really matters? In this episode, we unpack the growing cultural shift away from hustle culture and into what many are calling the soft life  - a slower, more intentional way of living. We talk honestly about the tension between ambition and rest, how societal expectations have shaped women’s nervous systems, and why the soft life isn’t about giving up, it’s about tuning in.

From motherhood and single parenting to invisible labour, work stress, wellness fatigue and everything in between. This conversation is about coming back to what fills you up, not what drains you.

Key Discussion Points

• What the soft life really means and why it’s not lazy or indulgent
• The myth of “having it all” and the hidden costs of chasing it
• How our nervous systems have been wired for busyness and how to start unwinding that
• Why wellness culture can sometimes add to the burnout, not relieve it
• The emotional toll of invisible labour, especially for midlife women
• Redefining success and creating space for what truly matters
• How small, daily choices (like a walk, a conversation, a breath) can be radical acts of reclaiming peace
• Giving yourself permission to let go of expectations, overcommitments and pressure to prove
• The soft life as a rebellion: choosing presence over productivity

Listener Takeaways

• You don’t need to quit your job or move to the beach. The soft life starts with one choice at a time
• Rest isn’t selfish, it’s essentiaL,  especially when your nervous system is always “on”
• You’re not lazy for needing to slow down. You’re wise for listening to what your body and soul actually need
• If “having it all” is leaving you scattered and depleted, maybe it’s time to redefine what all means to you

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you. What does rest look like in your life right now? Message us on Instagram or leave a voicemail.

And don’t forget to like and subscribe and share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins about what’s weighing on us, what we’re learning, and how we’re holding it all together. 

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this candid Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the kind of exhaustion that sleep alone can’t fix. It’s not just the 3am perimenopause wake-ups, the Prosecco regrets, or the never-ending to-do list - it’s the deeper, invisible load that keeps us wired 24/7.

They unpack the toll of being constantly “on,” from anticipating everyone’s needs to never truly switching off, even when the kids are older. Whether it’s playing the role of juggler, chef, therapist, or clown, the emotional and nervous system load of motherhood and midlife deserves to be named and deeply acknowledged.

Key Discussion Points:

• The difference between tiredness and “bone tired” exhaustion
• Why full nights of sleep don’t always help and what else might be going on
• The constant state of alert that mothers live in, even when no one’s calling their name
• How single parenting, invisible labour, and midlife sensitivity amplify fatigue
• Why real rest is more than just sitting down - it’s letting your body fully exhale

Listener Takeaways:

• If you're feeling wiped out despite “doing nothing,” you're not alone or lazy
• The mental and emotional toll of being permanently on alert is real
• It’s okay to say you’re tired. You deserve rest that actually restores you
• Being deeply fatigued doesn’t mean you love your kids any less
• Rest isn’t indulgent, it’s a necessity for your nervous system

Join the Conversation:

Does this kind of tiredness sound familiar? Have you been carrying a load that no one sees?
Send us a DM or an email at [email protected], we’d love to hear how this resonates for you.
And if someone in your life needs to hear this, please pass it on.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this episode, Aileen and Julie reflect on why some people seem naturally happier, while others (like themselves!) are built with layers, reflection, and emotional intensity. Through personal stories, laughter, and a dose of science, they explore how understanding emotional wiring can shift the way we experience happiness and relate to ourselves.

They also revisit a metaphor that’s stuck with them for years: are you an onion or a potato? It began as a throwaway comment by Julie's husband, but it’s grown into a powerful framework for understanding the different ways people process life, emotion, and joy.

Key Discussion Points:

• Julie’s sister’s blunt but brilliant advice: “Calm the F down”
• Why some people feel content with less, while others crave depth
• The “onion vs. potato” metaphor: emotional complexity vs. grounded simplicity
• The science behind Happiness Set Point Theory and what we can (and can’t) change
• How upbringing, personality, and life experience shape our emotional landscape
• Why it’s powerful to honour your wiring rather than trying to “fix” it
• The importance of deep connection, especially when others process differently

Listener Takeaways:

• Get curious about your emotional blueprint, do you lean toward simplicity or reflection?
• Understand that overthinkers and seekers aren’t broken… they’re just layered
• Release the idea that happiness is something to earn
• Recognise the strengths in both “onion” and “potato” types
• Embrace the idea that calm, grounded joy is just as meaningful as complex growth

Join the Conversation:

Are you more of an onion or a potato, or somewhere in between? Aileen and Julie would love to hear what resonates.

Send them a DM, leave a voicemail, or join their WhatsApp group (link in bio).

New here? Subscribe to You Keep Me Sane for honest, layered, and heartfelt conversations every week.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

This listener-inspired Sanity Check explores the discomfort so many of us feel when it comes to saying no or speaking honestly. Aileen and Julie unpack the messy middle between people-pleasing and genuine empathy, and explore the deeper fears—like judgment, rejection, or letting someone down—that keep us stuck in yes-mode even when we're at capacity.

Whether you're someone who always says yes out of habit, fear, or heart, this episode offers research-backed insights and gentle reminders that you're not alone—and that boundaries are not a betrayal of kindness.

Key Discussion Points

• Why we feel guilt or anxiety about saying no—even when it’s justified
• The tug of war between wanting to help and protecting our own peace
• People-pleasing vs. empathy—how to know what’s really driving you
• Social rejection, shame, and conditioning: What the research says
• The power of pausing and checking in with your actual capacity
• How guilt can sometimes be a sign of growth
• Speaking honestly with kindness and clarity

Listener Takeaways

• Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest
• Notice when discomfort is old programming, not a present-day truth
• Ask yourself: Am I afraid of being judged? Or am I truly concerned for the other person?
• Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend: with understanding and compassion
• Growth can feel like guilt—especially when you're not used to honouring your own needs

Join the Conversation

Have you struggled with saying no or speaking up? What helps you navigate the guilt? Drop us a message or leave us a DM—we’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Let’s make boundary-setting feel a little less lonely.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore the quiet but powerful transition many women experience in midlife—the shift from being seen and celebrated for youth and appearance to becoming quietly overlooked by a culture that worships the new. But is this invisibility a loss… or a kind of liberation?

Through honest conversation and personal stories, they unpack what it means to feel unseen in a world that once watched your every move, and how this stage of life can offer something far richer: presence, peace, and purpose.

Key Discussion Points

• The emotional impact of no longer being the center of cultural attention
• Watching their daughters enter a world of visibility, hustle, and image pressure
• The contrast between youth and midlife—performance vs. presence
• Grief, freedom, and what we gain as we age
• The idea of invisibility as a cloak we can choose to wear or shed
• How midlife brings deeper intuition, discernment, and authentic friendships
• Why being seen isn’t always about external eyes, but internal fullness

 Listener Takeaways

• You’re not invisible—you’re evolving.
• This phase is full of wisdom, grounding, and power, even if the world doesn’t applaud it.
• Visibility doesn’t have to come from others—it can be something you claim for yourself.
• The freedom to stop hustling for approval is a gift of age.
• Ask yourself: What does visibility mean to you now?

Join the Conversation

We want to hear from you. What’s your relationship with visibility right now? Do you ever feel invisible—and if so, what helps?

• DM us or drop a voice message.
• Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this mini Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the chemistry of your emotions—specifically the push-pull dance between cortisol and oxytocin. Whether you’ve felt constantly on edge, snappy, or totally burnt out, this episode breaks down what’s really happening in your body and why even small, mindful shifts can help you reset.

Key Talking Points:

• Why cortisol rises in everyday situations—especially the chaotic after-school hours.
• The role cortisol plays in anxiety, poor sleep, burnout, and even menopausal weight gain.
• How oxytocin (the “hug hormone”) helps calm your system and restore emotional balance.
• Easy, everyday ways to raise oxytocin: laughter, connection, touch, and mindfulness.
• How being aware of your hormonal state can increase self-compassion and reduce self-judgment.
• Personal stories from Aileen and Julie on what works for them (and when they know each other's cortisol is up!).

Listener Takeaways:

• Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today to lower cortisol or raise oxytocin?
• Notice your body: Can you feel when you shift into fight-or-flight?
• Remember: It’s not just mental—it’s chemical. Go gently with yourself.
• Try this: A walk with a friend, a deep breath, a long hug, a moment of laughter.

💬 Join the Conversation:

Got a go-to ritual that helps lower stress or boost connection? We’d love to hear it. Drop us a DM or voice note, or join our WhatsApp group for honest chats and daily support. Link in the show notes.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the power behind Mel Robbins’ now-viral “Let Them Theory.” From navigating tricky relationships to handling judgement and unmet expectations, they explore why this simple mindset shift can be so freeing—and so hard to put into practice.

Drawing on their own stories of burnout, people-pleasing, and family conflict, they unpack how learning to “let them” has helped them reclaim their energy, protect their peace, and stop hustling for approval. It’s not about being passive—it’s about releasing control, embracing authenticity, and choosing yourself.

Key Discussion Points:

• How the Let Them Theory became a tool in their personal growth journeys
• Why detachment from outcomes isn't the same as detachment from love
• The role of control in people-pleasing and over-explaining
• Letting go of the need to be seen a certain way by others
• The difference between surrender and checking out
• Why “let them” doesn’t always apply—especially in parenting
• How fear of rejection or judgement often drives over-efforting
• Choosing yourself: protecting peace, energy, and authenticity
• The difference between trying to keep people close vs. letting them drift
• Using “let them” as a circuit-breaker for anxiety and self-doubt

Listener Takeaways:

• You don’t have to fix or manage everyone’s reaction to you.
• “Let them” is a powerful mindset to reclaim peace and clarity.
• Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re a return to your centre.
• Surrendering control doesn’t mean giving up—it means trusting more.
• You can’t force connection. If it’s real, it doesn’t need chasing.

📱 Join the Conversation:

Have you tried embracing the Let Them mindset? Did it feel freeing or bring up guilt and discomfort? DM us or leave a voice note—we’d love to hear your take.

And don’t forget to join our WhatsApp community, where these deep, honest conversations continue.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what it really means to be an introvert or an extrovert—and why understanding the difference is essential for your mental health. It’s not about being shy or social—it’s about how you refill your tank. Whether you’ve been feeling flat, snappy, or overstimulated, this episode is a reminder to tune into what your nervous system actually needs.

Key Discussion Points

• The myth that being outgoing = extroverted
• Why stimulation isn’t the same as nourishment
• The "low hum of depletion" and how it creeps in
• Why introverts need solitude like oxygen
• What happens when we override our natural energy patterns
• How extroverts suffer from too much solitude
• Learning to name your needs—without guilt

Listener Takeaways

• Recharging isn’t selfish—it’s essential
• Notice how you feel after social interactions: restored or drained?
• Solitude can be a lifeline, not a luxury
• Set boundaries to protect your energy before burnout hits
• There’s no one-size-fits-all—figure out what actually works for you

💬 Join the Conversation

Are you an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between? How do you recharge best? We’d love to hear from you. Drop us a DM, leave a voicemail, or email us at [email protected].

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

Betrayal is one of those words that immediately stirs something in us. In this episode, Julie and Aileen unpack the many forms betrayal can take — not just romantic, but the kind that happens quietly in families, friendships, and formative moments. From overheard conversations to cruel friendship dynamics, they reflect on how early betrayals shaped their sense of self-worth and trust in others. They also respond to a heartfelt listener letter that touches on public ridicule from family — a pain that runs deep and lingers for years.

This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt blindsided by someone they trusted, and anyone trying to find their way back to themselves after the damage has been done.

Key Discussion Points:

• The betrayal that isn’t loud — but lingers the longest
• Aileen’s childhood story of overhearing her mum betray her trust
• How betrayal shapes our sense of safety, trust, and identity
• Julie’s experience of friendship betrayals and becoming guarded
• The listener story that sparked this episode — being ridiculed by family in public
• The long-term impact of betrayal on self-worth and vulnerability
• Coping mechanisms: from hyper-independence to isolation
• Practical tips for healing: boundaries, processing pain, forgiveness, and self-trust

Listener Takeaways:

• Betrayal doesn’t have to be dramatic to be devastating
• It often starts young — and shapes how we see ourselves and the world
• Healing begins when we name the hurt, separate it from our identity, and reclaim our self-worth
• You can forgive without forgetting — and without allowing repeat access
• You are not alone in this — and it wasn’t your fault

📩 Join the Conversation:

Have you experienced betrayal in a way that changed you? We’d love to hear your story. DM us, email us at [email protected], or leave us a voicemail. The more we talk about this, the less alone we feel.

💛 If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this episode, Julie and Aileen reflect on those moments in life where everything feels like too much — when you're overwhelmed, disconnected, or just not yourself. Inspired by a Mel Robbins quote, they explore the idea that feeling lost is often the beginning of finding your way back — or forward — to a stronger, wiser version of yourself.

Whether it’s the chaos of parenting, a life change, or the slow build-up of a thousand small stresses, this conversation is a reminder that these low points can be turning points — if we let them.

Key Discussion Points

• Why we often feel most lost right before something shifts
• The importance of sitting with discomfort instead of rushing to fix it
• How life transitions like moves, breakups, and burnout can spark growth
• Personal stories of feeling unmoored — and how clarity eventually came
• The quiet wisdom in letting go of old identities to make space for what’s next

💡 Listener Takeaways

• Feeling lost isn’t a sign you’re broken — it’s part of becoming
• Not all breakdowns are dramatic — sometimes it’s the subtle unraveling that leads to strength
• If you're in the midst of heaviness, it doesn't mean you're at the end — you could be on the edge of a new beginning
• Let yourself pause. Let yourself be. That might be the bravest thing you do right now.

Join the Conversation

Are you going through a season of uncertainty or feeling unsteady on your path? We’d love to hear your story. Leave us a voicemail or DM — we’re here to listen.
And if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone else who might need the reminder: being lost might just be the start of finding something beautiful.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.