You Keep Me Sane

Episode Overview:

In this episode, we speak with broadcast journalist Ania Lichtarowicz - Managing Director of Somewhere on Earth Productions and former producer of BBC’s Digital Planet. 

Ania breaks down the alarming rise of AI-generated deepfake pornography - how it works, who’s being targeted, and what we all need to understand to protect ourselves and our children in an increasingly digital world.

This isn't just about celebrities. People with under 10,000 followers are being exploited through these technologies. As mums of teenagers ourselves, this hit close to home.

Key Discussion Points:

• What exactly is a deepfake? 
• Why women are disproportionately targeted, and how social media makes us vulnerable.
• The risks for kids and teens.
• Steps parents and teens can take today to stay safer online

Listener Takeaways:

• You don’t need to be famous to be affected. 
• Talk to your kids about digital consent and teach them to be cautious about what they post.
• There are tools that can help - see the below e-book link.
• Being digitally savvy is part of being safe - that starts with awareness, not fear.

Download our E-Book for Parents, The Deep Fake Survival Guide: 

https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/YouKeepMeSane_store/page/3381269 

Links To Ania and her work at Somewhere On Earth Productions:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/anialichtarowicz/

https://www.instagram.com/soeptech/

Join the Conversation:
We’d love to hear your thoughts, questions, or personal experiences around AI, digital safety, or parenting in the age of tech. Send us a DM or a voice note!

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this week’s Sanity Check, Julie shares a hilarious (and maddeningly relatable) story about a coat hanger left in the hallway - for four days. No one else in the house noticed it. Or did they?

From coat hangers to mugs, to stairs stacked with “to-be-taken-up” items, we unpack the domestic phenomenon where women seem to carry the invisible job of noticing and picking things up. Is it biology? Conditioning? Or just... the dreaded mental load?

We reflect on how women often scan the home for what needs doing, while others just walk past it. If you’ve ever run your own coat hanger experiment or feel like the only one holding the household together - this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points:

• Julie’s hallway “coat hanger test” and what it revealed
• Why so many women carry a hyper-awareness of household mess
• The role of mental load and who’s been conditioned to carry it
• Is it that they really can’t see it… or that they just don’t care?
• Why kids and partners might not be scanning like we do
• Aileen’s theory on how we’ve trained others not to notice

Listener Takeaways:

• You’re not imagining it - many women are the default “noticers” of domestic clutter.
• Mental load isn’t just about doing the tasks - it starts with seeing what needs doing.
• We often train the people around us (without meaning to) to expect us to clean up.
• If you feel like the only one seeing the mess, you’re not alone and it’s okay to change the pattern.

Join the Conversation:

Does this happen in your house too?
Do you think they genuinely don’t see it or just don’t care?
Drop us a message or DM - we want to know we’re not losing it (or at least, we’re all losing it together!).

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

If you're parenting a 12-year-old (or about to), this one’s for you.

We talk about the moment your sweet kid suddenly starts rolling their eyes, refusing hugs, demanding independence - and testing every nerve you have. We share real stories from our own homes, laugh through the chaos, and get honest about how hard this transition can feel.

But underneath the attitude and inconsistency is a powerful truth: your child’s brain is under construction, their emotions are big, and you are still their safe place - even when they act like they can’t stand you.

This episode is a mix of neuroscience, nostalgia, and no-filter parenting. You’re not imagining the shift and you’re not alone in finding it hard.

Key Discussion Points:

• What’s really going on in a 12-year-old’s brain and why their behaviour feels so inconsistent
• How pushback is actually a (messy) form of connection and growth
• The importance of small connection moments over forced big talks
• How to model emotional regulation (even when you want to scream)
• Why grief is a real part of watching your child pull away and how to process it

Listener Takeaways:

• You’re not failing, your child is becoming.
• Connection doesn’t always look like closeness.
• The tone might sting, but it’s not personal, it’s developmental.
• Let them push, but you don’t need to push back.
• Laugh, pause, model calm, and remember: this is a season.

📣 Join the Conversation:

Are you in the thick of the tween phase too?
What’s been the most surprising thing about parenting a 12-year-old?
Leave us a voice note or drop us a DM - we’d love to share this journey with you.

And if you found this helpful, please send it to a fellow parent who might need the reminder: you’re not alone.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check, we get real about our lifelong struggles with body image - and how they’ve evolved (or stayed stuck) as we've entered midlife. From tying jumpers around our waists in our 20s to feeling unrecognisable in our 40s, we share the quiet grief, relentless inner voice, and conditioning so many women carry.

But this isn't just about venting. It's about shifting.

We talk through the small but powerful mindset resets we’ve started using to build a kinder relationship with our bodies - ones that focus less on “fixing” and more on tending. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve spent your whole life at war with your body, this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points:

• Why we never felt good in our bodies - even when we “looked good”
• The disorienting shift that comes with midlife body changes
• How cultural conditioning trains us to feel like we’re never enough
• What we’re learning from our body confidence reset
• Noticing the inner critic - especially when it’s subtle or subconscious
• Why confidence doesn’t come after weight loss or change
• What it really means to be in relationship with your body

Listener Takeaways:

• Your body is not a problem to be fixed, it’s a home to care for.
• Confidence comes from how you show up for yourself, not from your reflection.
• You don’t have to love every inch to stop the war, just stop the criticism.
• Feeling “uncomfortable in your own skin” isn’t a flaw - it’s a byproduct of years of pressure and programming.
• You’re not broken. You’re just tired from trying to meet a standard that was never made for you.

Join the Conversation:

If this episode stirred something in you, we'd love to hear about it.
Leave us a DM or share this episode with someone who needs to feel less alone in their body journey.
And if today, all you do is soften your inner voice or pick an outfit that feels good, that’s a win. We’re walking this with you.

Download our FREE e-Book for a Body Image Reset: https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/p/download-the-midlife-body-confidence-ebook-now

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

What begins as a chat about fitness quickly turns into something deeper. In this episode, we sit down with Cara Metz, founder of Cara Fitness, to explore not just the shifting demands of midlife bodies, but also the invisible weight of grief, the power of real community, and what it takes to stay connected to yourself when life feels hard.

Cara opens up about losing her beloved cat Missy, recovering from spinal surgery, and navigating perimenopause in a culture that still doesn't talk about it enough. She also shares her personal journey with body image, diet culture, and how she finally gave herself permission to rest (even though she’s still not very good at it!).

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body - or from yourself - this conversation is a reminder that healing is possible, and connection changes everything.

Key Discussion Points

• What Cara had to unlearn about food, fitness, and rest in her 40s
• Cara’s spinal surgery recovery and the mental strength it required
• Why real community made all the difference through her hardest times
• How body image issues linger even after growth - and how she reframes them
• The role of vulnerability and being “makeup-free” in her online presence
• Why meditation, breathwork and self-talk have changed her inner world

Listener Takeaways

• You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful - being real is enough
• Strength isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, mental, and communal
• Midlife is not a crisis, it’s a recalibration
• Rest might not come naturally, but it’s essential (and brave)
• Body image isn’t a one-time fix - it’s a daily practice in self-compassion
• Connection, especially online, can be life-saving

Connect with Cara Metz:

On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carametz_/ 

Via her Cara Fitness App: https://carafitness.co.uk/pages/cara-fitness-app

Cara's Other Links and Courses: https://linktr.ee/carafitness?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=0e5079cb-fd47-4ce2-901c-087bd9768454

Join the Conversation

Has your relationship with your body or health changed in midlife? What helps you feel connected to yourself when things get hard?

We’d love to hear your story—send us a DM or leave us a voice message.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

This week, we hit that point where the mental tabs were maxed out - and it wasn’t about the big stuff. It was the what’s for dinner, the laundry, what vitamins to give the kids, the endless little choices that chip away at your sanity. We talk about decision fatigue and how it creeps in when your brain just can’t carry any more. From turtles to t-shirts, it’s not always the weight of the decision, it’s the volume.

Key Discussion Points:

• What decision fatigue really looks and feels like
• Why the small, daily decisions are sometimes the hardest
• How perimenopause, parenting and running a household or business add to the mental load
• Letting go of guilt when your brain says “enough”
• How to pause, hand over decisions, or just leave them for tomorrow

Listener Takeaways:

• You’re not broken if you can’t face the laundry pile or another meal plan
• It’s okay to not decide - sometimes that is the decision
• Mental rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity

Join the Conversation:

Have you felt this kind of decision fatigue lately? Tell us what tipped you over - was it the washing, the vitamins, the inbox? Drop us a DM or voice message. We love hearing your stories and sharing this space with you.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

This week’s episode was sparked by a thoughtful voice note from a listener who asked a powerful question: Where does ambition fit into self-worth?

In a culture that often ties success to external achievements, it’s easy to get caught in the trap of proving your value through accolades, productivity, or recognition. But can ambition and self-worth actually coexist in a healthy way? We believe they can and should.

In this conversation, we unpack what healthy ambition looks like, why striving isn’t the enemy of self-worth, and how our relationship with aspiration changes in midlife. From personal stories of burnout and people-pleasing to parenting conversations and redefining success, this episode is a warm reminder that it’s okay to want more - as long as it comes from the right place.

Key Discussion Points

• The difference between striving for growth and chasing validation.
• How societal expectations shaped our early views on success.
• The role of internal vs external drivers: joy, shame, survival, recognition.
• Why it’s okay to not know what you want yet and how curiosity can be a guide.
• Midlife aspirations, evolving ambitions, and creating your own blueprint.

Listener Takeaways

• Ambition isn’t the enemy of self-worth - but when it’s rooted in fear, shame, or comparison, it can derail your wellbeing.
• Ask yourself: Are your goals coming from expansion or escape?
• Striving is natural - but when it’s value-led and purpose-driven, it adds vitality to your life, not burnout.
• Success isn’t what you have, it’s how it feels.
• Are you living by your own blueprint or someone else's?

Join the Conversation

Tell us how your relationship with ambition has changed over time.
💬 DM us
🎤 Leave a voice note
📣 Share this with a friend who might be doubting their dreams.

Let’s keep the conversation going, because ambition, rest, and self-worth can all coexist. You’re allowed to want more and still be enough, right now.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

Ever feel like you're living in survival mode - snappy, tired, and overwhelmed for no clear reason? You're not imagining it. That constant buzzing in your body might be cortisol, your stress hormone, running the show. In this short but powerful sanity check, we unpack why cortisol is especially high in midlife - and what you can do to gently bring it down without needing a retreat, a full reset, or a complete life overhaul.

This episode is your reminder that calm is closer than you think. With a few small, science-backed tweaks, you can soothe your nervous system and feel more grounded - even on the busiest days.

Key Discussion Points:

• Why cortisol spikes in midlife and what it’s really doing to your body and brain
• The invisible mental load that keeps stress high, even when nothing “bad” is happening
• Micro-habits that can lower cortisol and raise oxytocin (your feel-good hormone)
• How to ground yourself in one minute using your senses
• The surprising power of self-hugs, slow breaths, and kind self-talk

Listener Takeaways:

• You don’t need to escape your life to reset your system - just start with one small shift
• Understanding your body’s stress signals is a game-changer for your health and headspace
• These rituals may seem tiny, but they’re powerful acts of self-respect

Join the Conversation:

Do you have a micro ritual that helps calm you down or bring you back to yourself? DM us on Instagram or share it in the WhatsApp group. We’d love to build a community bank of sanity-saving tips - because you’re not alone, and neither are we.

Download our FREE E-book Midlife Nervous System Reset:

https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/p/midlife-nervous-system-reset

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

Ever looked around your home and felt your shoulders tense? You're not alone. In this episode, we sit down with Lauren from Perfect Space Home Organisation -  a professional organiser who brings more than tidy cupboards. She brings peace of mind.

We talk clutter, cortisol, and the emotional stories hiding in our cupboards. From junk drawers to inherited guilt, Lauren helps us unpack how physical mess contributes to mental stress, and how small changes can transform more than just your space.

This episode is a warm, honest chat about what your clutter might really be saying… and how you can begin letting go.

Key Discussion Points:

• How clutter raises cortisol and how it affects women most
• The mental load of “stuff” and how it impacts your day-to-day stress
• The shame people feel around clutter (and why we need to ditch it)
• Why perfection isn’t the goal - "your perfect space" is
• Lauren’s gentle, judgment-free approach to helping people reset
• Tips to start decluttering without overwhelm

Listener Takeaways:

• Clutter isn’t just visual, it’s hormonal, emotional, and deeply personal
• Letting go of “stuff” often means letting go of guilt, expectations, and shame
• Start small: five things at a time can be enough
• Ask: “Would I save this in a fire?” - if not, maybe it’s time to let it go
• Decluttering isn’t indulgent, it’s emotional self-care

Join the Conversation:

Do you have a cluttered cupboard you’re avoiding? Or maybe a story about inherited items you can’t part with? We’d love to hear it. DM us or drop a voice note - let’s talk about the emotional side of tidying.

👉Follow Lauren at @perfectspacehomeorganisation
👉Check out her Amazon shop + WhatsApp community  via her website:

https://www.perfectspacehomeorganisation.com/

🎧 And don’t forget to subscribe to You Keep Me Sane for weekly chats that help you feel a little lighter—inside and out.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Why do we still treat single women like they’re unfinished stories? In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re getting honest about the outdated assumptions around being single in midlife - and why choosing to stay true to yourself is far from a failure.

We reflect on a conversation Aileen had with a single friend who said it best: “I know peace now, and I’m not giving it up unless someone truly meets me where I’m at.”

If you’ve ever felt the pressure to explain your singleness, or found yourself asking a friend why they’re “still single”, this episode is a loving nudge to rethink the narrative.

What we cover:
– Why some women are choosing peace over partnership
– The cost of contorting yourself to be loved
– Why the question “Why are you still single?” needs to be retired
– What single women are actually protecting: energy, values, and joy
– How the dating landscape shifts in your 40s and 50s
– The double standard between men and women when it comes to singlehood

Listener takeaway:
Being single isn’t something to fix - it’s often a bold, conscious choice to honour your self-worth. And if you’re in a relationship, let this be a reminder to celebrate your single friends for their strength, not question their choices.

Join the Conversation

Know someone who's tired of hearing "I can't believe you're still single"? Send this episode their way.

And if you want more real talk like this, don’t forget to like, follow, and join our WhatsApp community. We’re here for the big conversations that matter.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.