You Keep Me Sane

Episode Overview
In this episode, we dive into imposter syndrome — that all-too-familiar sense of doubting yourself despite clear evidence you’ve earned your place. We talk about how it has shown up in our own lives, why it’s especially common among high achievers, and how it quietly chips away at self-worth. From the root causes we pick up as kids to the way adult pressures amplify it, we explore why so many of us carry this fear of being “found out.” Most importantly, we share the practical ways we’ve learned to turn the volume down — reframing success, tracking wins, and remembering that feelings aren’t facts.

Key Discussion Points

• What imposter syndrome really is and why it’s so common
• Early roots: praise, comparison, and perfectionism
• Why high achievers often feel it most
• How workplaces and life transitions amplify self-doubt
• The nervous system’s role in treating visibility as danger
• Practical shifts that help: naming it, tracking wins, reframing success
• Why self-worth — not achievement — is the real antidote
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Feeling like a fraud doesn’t mean you are one — feelings aren’t facts.
• Reframe success as effort and growth, not just flawless results.
• Keep your wins close and stop “comparing up.”
• Mistakes are proof you’re learning, not proof you don’t belong.
• Your worth isn’t tied to achievements or approval — you’re already enough.
  
  

Join the Conversation

If imposter syndrome has shown up in your life, you’re in good company. We’d love to hear your story — DM us or send a voice note. And if you know someone who needs this reminder, please share the episode with them. You keep us sane too. 🤍

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
Have you ever finally sat down to rest, only to find yourself fidgeting, scrolling, or looking for something to tidy? You’re not alone. There’s a name for this: relaxation anxiety.

In this week’s Sanity Check, we dive into why slowing down feels so uncomfortable when your life is full of constant momentum, and how our culture ties worth to productivity.

Key Discussion Points:

• What “relaxation anxiety” is and why it shows up.
• The pressure we put on ourselves to earn rest.
• Why busyness can become our default identity.
• The cultural link between productivity and self-worth.
• How to approach rest as something we learn, not something we feel guilty about.

Listener Takeaways:

• If you feel restless when you stop, it’s not failure, it’s your body unwinding.
• Rest isn’t a luxury or something you have to deserve, it’s essential.
• Give yourself patience and grace: momentum takes time to slow down.
• Try building in smaller, frequent moments of rest instead of waiting for the perfect time.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced relaxation anxiety? How do you give yourself permission to stop without guilt? 

Send us a DM or leave a comment, we’d love to hear your thoughts.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this week’s episode of You Keep Me Sane, we dive into what it really means to be Gen X - caught between silence and strength, invisibility and overachievement. We explore how growing up in a culture that told us to “just get on with it” shaped our self-worth, and how the infamous “Wonder Woman cape” became both our badge of honour and our heaviest burden.

From latchkey kids to midlife jugglers, we unpack the generational weight we carry. We talk about why it shows up in our health, our relationships, and our sense of identity and what it means to finally name it, put it down, and choose something lighter.

Key Discussion Points:

• Why Gen X was taught to suppress emotions and “just cope” without support
• The Wonder Woman cape: how being endlessly capable became tied to our worth
• Midlife as a reckoning point - when silence and strain finally catch up
• The impact of suppressed emotions on health (autoimmune conditions, stress, burnout)
• Practical reflections on setting down the cape and redefining worth

Listener Takeaways:

• You are not weak for feeling the weight, you’ve been carrying decades of conditioning.
• Self-worth doesn’t come from how much you can juggle, it comes from who you are.
• Setting down the cape, even for an hour, can be a radical act of self-care.
• Naming what our generation carries isn’t complaining, it’s the first step to healing.
• We can choose to raise our children differently, with openness and emotional language that we never had.

Join the Conversation:

Where are you still wearing the Wonder Woman cape? And what would it feel like to set it down - just for an hour?

We’d love to hear your reflections. DM us or leave a voice note to share your story.
And if this episode resonated, don’t forget to follow, rate, and share the podcast so more of us can feel seen, heard, and a little less alone.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:
We’re not here to talk about dieting, detoxes, or food fads. This week’s Sanity Check is about the small, doable changes we’ve each made to what we eat - and the unexpected shifts we’ve noticed in mood, energy, and clarity as a result.

From quitting sugar to ditching oat milk, increasing hydration, and bringing back big bowls of salad, we’re getting honest about the habits that crept in (and the ones we let slide) during perimenopause, busy life seasons, and the cold, snacky winter months. If you’ve been feeling a bit off - fuzzy-headed, bloated, fatigued - this episode is your gentle nudge to get curious, not critical, about your food.

Key Discussion Points:

• Why Aileen finally decided to give up sugar (again) and what happened in just a few days.
• How Julie's small tweaks (hello veggies, goodbye oat milk) made a surprisingly big difference.
• The emotional side of food: comfort eating, energy dips, winter cravings, and breaking old habits.
• What we’ve learned about food and brain fog, bloating, and midlife fatigue.

Listener Takeaways:

• Sometimes you don’t need a major overhaul, tiny changes can create real results.
• Feeling “off” isn’t always just hormones or stress - sometimes, it’s what’s on your plate.
• When you eat from self-care instead of self-punishment, your whole mindset shifts.
• Start with curiosity. Even a 10% shift in how you feel can ripple into everything.

Join the Conversation:

Have you made any small changes lately that helped your energy, mood or health? We’d love to hear what’s working for you! Drop us a DM, leave a comment, or send a voice note - we’re all in this together.

And if you found this helpful, please forward it to a friend who might need a reminder that it’s never too late to listen to your body.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Summary

This week we sit down with Johnny Starr – entrepreneur, fitness coach, and founder of Never Home. Johnny’s story is one of resilience, reinvention, and radical honesty about men’s mental health. From hitting rock bottom and multiple stays in a psychiatric ward to building a thriving brand with a powerful mindset message, Johnny shares how he’s learned to manage criticism, protect his self-worth, and turn personal battles into fuel for helping others.

We dive into the stigma men still face when opening up, the mental toll of tall poppy syndrome, the pressures of social media, and why fitness became Johnny’s lifeline. This is an unfiltered conversation about courage, growth, and using your platform to lead with integrity.

Key Discussion Points

• Johnny’s mental health journey – from online hate and drug use to suicidal lows and recovery.
• The impact of tall poppy syndrome – why success and positivity can trigger criticism, and how Johnny reframed it.
• Men and vulnerability – breaking the silence, seeking help, and the role of therapy.
• Fitness as a mental health tool – how routine, discipline, and physical wellbeing transformed Johnny’s life.
• Building Never Home – creating a brand rooted in mindset, resilience, and purpose.
• Social media pressures – separating self-worth from material status and external validation.

Listener Takeaways

• Seeking professional help can be life-changing – therapy isn’t just for crisis, it’s for maintenance and growth.
• Your self-worth can’t be tied to material possessions or public perception.
• Criticism often says more about the other person’s insecurities than about you.
• Fitness, routine, and self-care aren’t just physical – they’re powerful mental health strategies.
• Vulnerability is strength, and sharing your story can give others permission to speak up.

Links to Johnny:

https://www.instagram.com/johnny_starr/

https://www.instagram.com/teamneverhome/

Join the Conversation

How do you protect your self-worth when criticism or comparison hits?

We’d love to hear your thoughts – send us a DM, an email or leave us a voicemail.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Why is it that when a woman shows depth, honesty, and emotional range, she’s so often called “complicated”? And why does it rarely sound like a compliment?

In this Sanity Check, we unpack the difference between being complicated and being complex. One implies chaos that needs fixing; the other speaks to richness, nuance, and a life deeply lived. We share personal stories of times we’ve been given the label, explore why it’s often used as a deflection (especially in dating and relationships), and talk about the quiet power of refusing to water yourself down.

This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt “too much”.

Key Discussion Points

• Complicated vs. Complex – why the two words feel so different, and how switching them can shift your perspective.
• How the “complicated” label is often used to avoid emotional intimacy or vulnerability.
• The link between emotional depth, lived experience, and midlife complexity.
• Why some people retreat from deep connection and why that’s not about you.
• How to stop shrinking yourself to be more “digestible” in relationships.

Listener Takeaways

• Your emotional depth is not a flaw - it’s your richness.
• If someone calls you “complicated,” it often says more about their limitations than your worth.
• You cannot make the wrong move with the right person.
• Check in with yourself: am I being complicated, or am I being complex? There's a difference.
• The right people will meet you where you’re at; you don’t need to twist yourself to fit.

Join the Conversation

Have you ever been told you’re “complicated”? How did it make you feel? 

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Send us a DM or join the discussion in our community spaces. And don’t forget to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

This week, we’re lifting the lid on one of life’s everyday divides: the messy vs tidy debate. But we’re not here to hand out gold stars for perfect homes or shame anyone for clutter. Instead, we’re exploring what lies beneath our habits: how our upbringing, nervous systems, and life stages shape the way we live in our spaces.

From coat hanger standoffs to emotional wiring, we share our completely opposite approaches to order (and chaos), the judgments we’ve faced, and the surprising science behind mess and creativity. Whether you’re the “everything in its place” type or someone who can happily ignore a pile on the stairs, this episode is all about understanding (and accepting) the way you’re built.

Key Discussion Points

• Opposite ends of the spectrum: Aileen’s comfort with chaos vs Julie’s need for order.
• Nervous system clues: Why some of us find calm in clutter and others feel anxious until everything is put away.
• Childhood influence: How emotional temperature at home can shape our relationship with tidiness.
• The science bit: Studies linking clutter to creativity, risk-taking, and even cortisol levels.

Listener Takeaways

• Being tidy doesn’t make you “better,” and being messy doesn’t mean you don’t care - it’s often about how you regulate and what feels safe.
• Your space can reflect your internal state, but it can also influence it.
• Talk openly if you live with your opposite - it’s about understanding, not winning.
• Give yourself permission to keep your home in a way that works for your stage of life and nervous system.

Links

We refer again to Lauren from Perfect Home Organisation - Aileen got her in to her home and Lauren was amazing! 

👉Follow Lauren at @perfectspacehomeorganisation
👉Check out her Amazon shop + WhatsApp community  via her website:

https://www.perfectspacehomeorganisation.com/

Join the Conversation

Where do you sit on the messy–tidy spectrum? Do you thrive in chaos or only relax in order? We’d love to hear how you navigate differences in your household. Drop us a DM or voice note and let us know.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Ever had someone offer you a “favour” that felt more like a clever way to get what they wanted? In this week’s Sanity Check, we unpack those interactions that seem generous on the surface but leave you feeling off - and possibly manipulated.

We get honest about how people sometimes frame their own needs as if they’re doing you a kindness… and how easy it is to fall into the habit of saying thank you, even when you’re the one doing the heavy lifting.

This episode is a little slice of catharsis if you’ve ever:
– Felt guilted into saying yes
– Gone along with someone’s plan out of politeness
– Swallowed your frustration to “keep the peace”

We're naming the pattern, ditching the people-pleasing, and reminding you: It’s okay to say no. You’re not mean. You’re not selfish. You’re just finally setting the record straight.

Listener Takeaway:

If you’ve ever walked away from a situation thinking, Hang on, I didn’t even want to do that, you’re not alone. This is your permission slip to stop over-apologising, stop over-thanking, and stop twisting yourself into a pretzel to accommodate someone else’s plan. You’re allowed to pause, say no, and name what’s really going on.

 Join the Conversation:

We love hearing from you. Drop us a DM or a voice note with your story—have you had one of these “favour that wasn’t a favour” moments? What did you do?
And please share this episode with someone who might need to hear they’re not alone.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this episode, we sit down with the unstoppable Jen Hardy - host of The Fabulous Over 50 Podcast, The Jen Hardy Show on YouTube, and creator of the 50 Over 50 Podcaster Awards. We first met Jen at The Podcast Show in London, and were immediately drawn to her energy, her sparkle (literally), and her mission to celebrate midlife women who are finding their voice - and using it.

Jen shares her powerful journey: from raising seven children across four decades and battling chronic illness, to reinventing herself through podcasting and embracing a new, more unapologetic version of herself. We explore how midlife can be a portal to confidence, bold boundaries, and self-acceptance - and why women over 50 are no longer asking for permission.

Key Discussion Points:

• Why Jen left behind her chronic illness-focused podcast to start Fabulous Over 50
• What really changes for women after 50 and why it’s not all bad
• How hormones like oxytocin shape our identity and priorities through life stages
• The rising power of midlife women (and why so many are divorcing in their 50s)
• How appearance still shapes visibility - and what Jen discovered after changing hers
• The strength in boundaries, self-preservation, and finally saying “no”

Listener Takeaways:

• Midlife isn’t a decline, it’s an awakening
• You’re allowed to change your story (and your outfit) at any age
• Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re sacred
• Confidence doesn’t always arrive on time, but it always shows up if you let it
• Sometimes, glitter is a power move 💫

Where to find Jen Hardy:

https://jenhardy.net/

https://www.youtube.com/@thejenhardy

https://www.instagram.com/thejenhardy/

 Join the Conversation:

What did this episode spark for you?
We’d love to hear your story—your midlife moment, your boundary breakthrough, or just how you’re learning to embrace this chapter.

Drop us a DM, leave a voice note, or share this with someone who needs to hear it.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Fabulous Over 50? What If You’re Not Feeling It Yet?

In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re talking about something that doesn’t get said enough: what if midlife isn’t fabulous just yet?

We dive into the glossy headlines about women thriving over 50 and unpack what it really feels like behind the scenes - from underactive thyroids and solo parenting to post-brain-fog clarity and Red Bull confessions.

Aileen shares how she’s doing everything “in reverse” - thriving in her 40s, now dealing with inflammation, fatigue, and the reality of perimenopause in her 50s. Julie reflects on finding energy and confidence again (finally!) after a decade-long fog lifted in her late 40s.

Together, we explore:

• Why “fabulous” looks different for every woman
• The invisible timeline pressure of ageing
• How our life stage, health, hormones, and circumstances shape how we feel
• And why your best decade might still be ahead of you (hello, sensational 60s!)

Takeaway: There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to ageing well. You’re not failing if you’re not feeling it right now. Your chapter might be different — and that’s more than okay.

 Join the conversation:
Have you hit your stride yet, or are you still waiting for your fabulous to arrive? Drop us a DM or voice note — we’d love to hear your story.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.