You Keep Me Sane

Episode Overview

In this deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore the quiet but powerful transition many women experience in midlife—the shift from being seen and celebrated for youth and appearance to becoming quietly overlooked by a culture that worships the new. But is this invisibility a loss… or a kind of liberation?

Through honest conversation and personal stories, they unpack what it means to feel unseen in a world that once watched your every move, and how this stage of life can offer something far richer: presence, peace, and purpose.

Key Discussion Points

• The emotional impact of no longer being the center of cultural attention
• Watching their daughters enter a world of visibility, hustle, and image pressure
• The contrast between youth and midlife—performance vs. presence
• Grief, freedom, and what we gain as we age
• The idea of invisibility as a cloak we can choose to wear or shed
• How midlife brings deeper intuition, discernment, and authentic friendships
• Why being seen isn’t always about external eyes, but internal fullness

 Listener Takeaways

• You’re not invisible—you’re evolving.
• This phase is full of wisdom, grounding, and power, even if the world doesn’t applaud it.
• Visibility doesn’t have to come from others—it can be something you claim for yourself.
• The freedom to stop hustling for approval is a gift of age.
• Ask yourself: What does visibility mean to you now?

Join the Conversation

We want to hear from you. What’s your relationship with visibility right now? Do you ever feel invisible—and if so, what helps?

• DM us or drop a voice message.
• Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this mini Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the chemistry of your emotions—specifically the push-pull dance between cortisol and oxytocin. Whether you’ve felt constantly on edge, snappy, or totally burnt out, this episode breaks down what’s really happening in your body and why even small, mindful shifts can help you reset.

Key Talking Points:

• Why cortisol rises in everyday situations—especially the chaotic after-school hours.
• The role cortisol plays in anxiety, poor sleep, burnout, and even menopausal weight gain.
• How oxytocin (the “hug hormone”) helps calm your system and restore emotional balance.
• Easy, everyday ways to raise oxytocin: laughter, connection, touch, and mindfulness.
• How being aware of your hormonal state can increase self-compassion and reduce self-judgment.
• Personal stories from Aileen and Julie on what works for them (and when they know each other's cortisol is up!).

Listener Takeaways:

• Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today to lower cortisol or raise oxytocin?
• Notice your body: Can you feel when you shift into fight-or-flight?
• Remember: It’s not just mental—it’s chemical. Go gently with yourself.
• Try this: A walk with a friend, a deep breath, a long hug, a moment of laughter.

💬 Join the Conversation:

Got a go-to ritual that helps lower stress or boost connection? We’d love to hear it. Drop us a DM or voice note, or join our WhatsApp group for honest chats and daily support. Link in the show notes.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the power behind Mel Robbins’ now-viral “Let Them Theory.” From navigating tricky relationships to handling judgement and unmet expectations, they explore why this simple mindset shift can be so freeing—and so hard to put into practice.

Drawing on their own stories of burnout, people-pleasing, and family conflict, they unpack how learning to “let them” has helped them reclaim their energy, protect their peace, and stop hustling for approval. It’s not about being passive—it’s about releasing control, embracing authenticity, and choosing yourself.

Key Discussion Points:

• How the Let Them Theory became a tool in their personal growth journeys
• Why detachment from outcomes isn't the same as detachment from love
• The role of control in people-pleasing and over-explaining
• Letting go of the need to be seen a certain way by others
• The difference between surrender and checking out
• Why “let them” doesn’t always apply—especially in parenting
• How fear of rejection or judgement often drives over-efforting
• Choosing yourself: protecting peace, energy, and authenticity
• The difference between trying to keep people close vs. letting them drift
• Using “let them” as a circuit-breaker for anxiety and self-doubt

Listener Takeaways:

• You don’t have to fix or manage everyone’s reaction to you.
• “Let them” is a powerful mindset to reclaim peace and clarity.
• Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re a return to your centre.
• Surrendering control doesn’t mean giving up—it means trusting more.
• You can’t force connection. If it’s real, it doesn’t need chasing.

📱 Join the Conversation:

Have you tried embracing the Let Them mindset? Did it feel freeing or bring up guilt and discomfort? DM us or leave a voice note—we’d love to hear your take.

And don’t forget to join our WhatsApp community, where these deep, honest conversations continue.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what it really means to be an introvert or an extrovert—and why understanding the difference is essential for your mental health. It’s not about being shy or social—it’s about how you refill your tank. Whether you’ve been feeling flat, snappy, or overstimulated, this episode is a reminder to tune into what your nervous system actually needs.

Key Discussion Points

• The myth that being outgoing = extroverted
• Why stimulation isn’t the same as nourishment
• The "low hum of depletion" and how it creeps in
• Why introverts need solitude like oxygen
• What happens when we override our natural energy patterns
• How extroverts suffer from too much solitude
• Learning to name your needs—without guilt

Listener Takeaways

• Recharging isn’t selfish—it’s essential
• Notice how you feel after social interactions: restored or drained?
• Solitude can be a lifeline, not a luxury
• Set boundaries to protect your energy before burnout hits
• There’s no one-size-fits-all—figure out what actually works for you

💬 Join the Conversation

Are you an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between? How do you recharge best? We’d love to hear from you. Drop us a DM, leave a voicemail, or email us at [email protected].

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

Betrayal is one of those words that immediately stirs something in us. In this episode, Julie and Aileen unpack the many forms betrayal can take — not just romantic, but the kind that happens quietly in families, friendships, and formative moments. From overheard conversations to cruel friendship dynamics, they reflect on how early betrayals shaped their sense of self-worth and trust in others. They also respond to a heartfelt listener letter that touches on public ridicule from family — a pain that runs deep and lingers for years.

This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt blindsided by someone they trusted, and anyone trying to find their way back to themselves after the damage has been done.

Key Discussion Points:

• The betrayal that isn’t loud — but lingers the longest
• Aileen’s childhood story of overhearing her mum betray her trust
• How betrayal shapes our sense of safety, trust, and identity
• Julie’s experience of friendship betrayals and becoming guarded
• The listener story that sparked this episode — being ridiculed by family in public
• The long-term impact of betrayal on self-worth and vulnerability
• Coping mechanisms: from hyper-independence to isolation
• Practical tips for healing: boundaries, processing pain, forgiveness, and self-trust

Listener Takeaways:

• Betrayal doesn’t have to be dramatic to be devastating
• It often starts young — and shapes how we see ourselves and the world
• Healing begins when we name the hurt, separate it from our identity, and reclaim our self-worth
• You can forgive without forgetting — and without allowing repeat access
• You are not alone in this — and it wasn’t your fault

📩 Join the Conversation:

Have you experienced betrayal in a way that changed you? We’d love to hear your story. DM us, email us at [email protected], or leave us a voicemail. The more we talk about this, the less alone we feel.

💛 If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this episode, Julie and Aileen reflect on those moments in life where everything feels like too much — when you're overwhelmed, disconnected, or just not yourself. Inspired by a Mel Robbins quote, they explore the idea that feeling lost is often the beginning of finding your way back — or forward — to a stronger, wiser version of yourself.

Whether it’s the chaos of parenting, a life change, or the slow build-up of a thousand small stresses, this conversation is a reminder that these low points can be turning points — if we let them.

Key Discussion Points

• Why we often feel most lost right before something shifts
• The importance of sitting with discomfort instead of rushing to fix it
• How life transitions like moves, breakups, and burnout can spark growth
• Personal stories of feeling unmoored — and how clarity eventually came
• The quiet wisdom in letting go of old identities to make space for what’s next

💡 Listener Takeaways

• Feeling lost isn’t a sign you’re broken — it’s part of becoming
• Not all breakdowns are dramatic — sometimes it’s the subtle unraveling that leads to strength
• If you're in the midst of heaviness, it doesn't mean you're at the end — you could be on the edge of a new beginning
• Let yourself pause. Let yourself be. That might be the bravest thing you do right now.

Join the Conversation

Are you going through a season of uncertainty or feeling unsteady on your path? We’d love to hear your story. Leave us a voicemail or DM — we’re here to listen.
And if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone else who might need the reminder: being lost might just be the start of finding something beautiful.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this deeply honest conversation, Aileen and Julie explore a powerful realisation about the difference between pleasureand happiness. Triggered by a reel on dopamine vs serotonin, the chat unpacks how chasing short-term highs can leave us feeling emptier than ever—especially during perimenopause and other identity-shifting life stages. This episode offers a compassionate lens on our coping mechanisms and a gentle invitation to start seeking what actually sustains us.

Key Discussion Points:

▪️ Dopamine vs Serotonin — What they are, how they affect us, and why this distinction matters.
▪️ The Trap of Quick Fixes — From food and alcohol to likes on social media, how we chase pleasure thinking it's happiness.
▪️ Hormonal Shifts & Midlife — Why perimenopause can bring our coping patterns into sharper focus.
▪️ Parenting in a Dopamine World — Reflections on teens, screen addiction, and fast gratification.
▪️ Real-Life Reflections — Personal stories of travel anxiety, shifting desires, and finding joy in simplicity.
▪️ Happiness as a Slow Burn — Why authentic happiness is quieter, and how to recognise it in everyday moments.
▪️ Practical Tools — Mindfulness, gratitude, purpose, and small serotonin-boosting rituals that reconnect us to ourselves.

Listener Takeaways:

🔹 You’re not failing if you don’t feel happy all the time.
🔹 Start asking: Is this soothing me… or sustaining me?
🔹 Swap one dopamine-driven habit this week for something slower and deeper—like a walk, a cuddle, or a moment of stillness.
🔹 Awareness is the first step toward change—and even just noticing your patterns is a powerful act of self-care.

💌 Join the Conversation:

Have you had your own ‘aha’ moment around this? Are you stuck in the dopamine loop? We’d love to hear from you. DM us or leave a voicemail—we're here to listen.

🎧 Listen now and don’t forget to like, subscribe and share with a friend who might need this gentle nudge toward something more lasting.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this short but honest Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what taking a holiday really means when you're juggling a business, parenting, and the relentless mental load of modern life. From Aileen’s seaside escape in Spain (featuring a surprise meerkat) to Julie’s chaotic family visit up north, both share how even time away doesn’t always mean switching off.

They explore the guilt, the pressure, the impossibility of true rest—and why we need to redefine what a break looks like in this phase of life.

Key Discussion Points

• Why it’s so hard to truly disconnect as a mum and business owner
• The pressure to “use” holidays productively (and the guilt when we don’t)
• How rest might look different now—an hour alone, a change of scene, a walk by the sea
• The 35,000 decisions we make daily—and how even reducing one can feel like a win
• Why redefining rest is essential for our sanity, even if it’s imperfect

Listener Takeaways

• You don’t need to earn rest—you just need to allow it.
• A holiday doesn’t have to look like a postcard to count.
• Even small, imperfect moments of letting go can be enough.
• Stop measuring the success of a break by how rested you feel.
• The mental load doesn’t clock off—but you can give yourself permission to pause.

Join the Conversation

What does a real break look like for you? We’d love to know.
DM us on Instagram or leave us a voice note with your thoughts.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder—send them this episode. 💛

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

This week, we’re diving deep into the menopausal middle—the physical, emotional, and psychological shift that happens during perimenopause. What started as a simple sanity check sparked a huge response from our listeners, so we’re going further.

We’re talking about the silent confusion, the disorienting body changes, the grief, and the unexpected loss of identity that so many of us are experiencing—but rarely speaking about. From belly fat to brain fog, muscle loss to mood shifts, and even a re-evaluation of friendships, we share what’s helped us and why we need to approach this season with gentleness, honesty, and a hell of a lot of grace.

Key Discussion Points

• Why body changes in midlife feel so destabilising
• The silent identity shift behind the weight and wardrobe stress
• The lasting impact of dieting and why strength training matters now
• The emotional toll: grief, confusion, and unexpected loss
• How shifting friendships reflect who we’re becoming
• Our go-to tips for feeling better—inside and out
• Reframing midlife as a transition, not a decline

Listener Takeaways

• You’re not alone—millions of women feel this shift
• This isn’t about willpower—it’s biology and identity
• Small changes can create real relief
• Rest and nervous system care matter as much as protein and training
• This phase may feel messy—but it’s not the end. It’s a becoming.

💬 Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear how this stage is showing up in your life. Are you feeling the shift? What’s helped you feel more yourself again?

Drop us a voice note or DM—and share this with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check episode, Julie and Aileen dive into the hormonal chaos that hits when perimenopause and parenting teenagers collide. It's the messy middle no one warned us about—when your body feels like it’s breaking down just as your kids are ramping up. From brain fog to teen meltdowns, they share the raw, relatable truth about trying to hold it all together when everyone under the roof is riding a hormonal rollercoaster.

🔑 Key Discussion Points:

• The double whammy of navigating perimenopause while raising hormonal teenagers.
• Feeling blindsided by brain fog, mood swings, anxiety, and exhaustion—and not knowing what hit you.
• Why no one prepared us for this brutal life stage overlap.
• How societal narratives (think cranky fairy-tale witches) reflect deep-rooted stereotypes about older women.
• The emotional strength we do gain during this season—and why it’s often overlooked.
• The importance of female friendships and honest conversations to survive this hormonal storm.
• Hope from the other side: what gets better and why it’s not all downhill from here.
• Reframing the chaos as a powerful shedding of what no longer serves us.

💬 Listener Takeaways:

• You're not alone if you're crying in the car while your teen slams the door. This stage is hard, and that doesn't mean you're failing.
• Talk about it—with friends, with us, with anyone who gets it. We need each other more than ever in this season.
• Take heart: on the other side of this storm is clarity, power, and a deep knowing of who you are.
• Be kind to yourself. You’re going through a massive transformation while holding a family together. That’s no small feat.

📣 Join the Conversation:

Have you felt this hormonal collision in your own life?
Leave us a voicemail or email us at [email protected].
We’d love to hear from you and share your thoughts in a future episode. 💛

And don’t forget to subscribe, share, and send this to a friend who needs to know she’s not the only one feeling like she’s losing it some days.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.