You Keep Me Sane

 Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie respond to a heartfelt listener letter asking a powerful question: Why is self-compassion so hard, even when we know it's important?

They explore how deeply ingrained beliefs—from childhood conditioning to societal pressure—can make kindness toward ourselves feel indulgent or even weak. But what if self-compassion is actually the bravest, most radical thing we can offer ourselves?

With honesty, vulnerability, and plenty of relatable moments, they break down the difference between self-compassion and self-indulgence, share personal stories of spirals, shame, and small acts of grace—and offer tangible ways to start flipping the script.

💬 Key Discussion Points

• Why self-compassion is often harder than showing compassion to others
• The voice in our heads: learning to interrupt self-criticism
• How compassion is not indulgence—but strength and support
• Real-life examples of freezing, spiralling, and finding grace
• The difference between pushing through and pausing
• Practical tools for practising self-compassion in daily life

🌱 Listener Takeaways

• Self-compassion isn’t a reward—it’s a lifeline when you're struggling
• You don’t have to earn your worth; it’s already yours
• Small shifts (like noticing your inner critic or putting a hand on your heart) can create big change
• Asking yourself “What would I say to a friend?” can help reframe harsh self-talk
• True compassion empowers us—it helps us move forward, not fall apart

📣 Join the Conversation

What’s one way you could show yourself more compassion this week?

We’d love to hear from you—send us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this episode resonated, please subscribe, share it with a friend, and help us spread the message that you are already enough.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check episode, we take a closer look at the push and pull between busyness and perceived laziness. Following the response to our episode on exhaustion as a status symbol, we explore the idea of productivity—how we define it, how we tie our worth to it, and how we can start shifting the way we measure a 'good day.'

Key Discussion Points:

• The Productivity Trap: Why so many of us feel like we haven't done enough, even when we've checked everything off the list.
• Invisible Labor & Self-Worth: The challenge of feeling satisfied with productivity when the work is intangible, such as emotional caregiving or simply being present.
• Redefining Success: Shifting from valuing only tangible accomplishments to recognizing rest, connection, and well-being as equally productive.
• Breaking the Cycle: How to challenge old conditioning and give ourselves credit for the unseen but deeply valuable aspects of daily life.
• Practical Reframes: Simple mindset shifts and daily check-ins to ensure we're honoring ourselves rather than just our to-do lists.

Listener Takeaways:

• Productivity isn’t just about what you do; it’s about how you feel doing it.
• Rest, connection, and presence matter as much as tangible achievements.
• It’s okay to unlearn the belief that constant busyness equals worthiness.
• Small shifts—like acknowledging your needs each day—can make a big difference.
• You are enough, even on the days where nothing gets checked off.

Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear from you! What does ‘enough’ look like for you these days? Drop us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

And if you need help to feel like you are enough, download our FREE e-book:

ENOUGH - Just As You Are - https://www.youkeepmesane.com/shop/

Thanks for being here—see you next time!

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive deep into the weight of guilt—how we carry it, why we feel it, and whether it’s even the right word for what we’re experiencing. They explore how guilt is often misplaced, ingrained in us from childhood, and tied to expectations that may not even be ours. Is it actually guilt, or is it just sadness, regret, or feeling bad? And how do we begin to let it go?

Key Discussion Points:

🔹 The Difference Between Guilt and Feeling Bad – Are we actually doing something wrong, or are we just reacting emotionally to life’s complexities?
🔹 The Heavy Weight of Guilt – How guilt creeps into motherhood, relationships, work, and even daily decisions like missing a workout or canceling plans.
🔹 Guilt as a Habit, Not a Truth – The societal and cultural conditioning that teaches us to feel guilty for simply existing.
🔹 Constructive vs. Destructive Guilt – When guilt is useful (motivating repair or change) versus when it’s an unnecessary energy drain.
🔹 Practical Steps to Let Go of Guilt – How reframing, self-compassion, and open conversations can help lighten the load.

Listener Takeaways:

•  Ask yourself: Have I actually done something wrong? If not, it’s not guilt—it’s just a feeling that needs acknowledgment.
• Challenge ingrained guilt—where does it come from? Cultural norms, childhood conditioning, or societal expectations?
• If guilt motivates positive change, use it. If it just weighs you down, let it go.
• Talking about guilt with someone you trust can strip it of its power.

Join the Conversation:

What role does guilt play in your life? Have you been labeling sadness or regret as guilt? We’d love to hear from you! Send us a message or leave a voicemail.

And if you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Remember, you don’t need to carry guilt to prove you care—you are already enough.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a frustrating yet deeply relatable topic—the stubborn menopausal middle. They share their personal experiences of how their bodies have completely changed the rules, making it harder than ever to maintain weight or fit into the clothes they’ve always worn. While they’ve done a lot of work on body image and self-worth, the disconnect between how they feel mentally and what’s happening physically is real. Together, they unpack the emotional, practical, and identity-based challenges that come with these changes—and explore how to navigate this transition with more self-compassion and less control.

Key Discussion Points:

• When the old rules stop working – The diets, workouts, and habits that once worked suddenly have no impact.
• The emotional impact – It’s not just about weight; it’s about identity, confidence, and feeling at home in your own body.
• The unpredictability factor – Weight fluctuations, fluid retention, and how stress and cortisol play a massive role.
• Reframing the focus – Shifting from trying to control your body to prioritizing health, strength, and feeling good.
• Finding what works for you – From mindful movement and stress management to adjusting styles and embracing change.

Listener Takeaways:

• You’re not alone. If your body is changing in ways you don’t recognize, you’re not imagining it—and you’re not the only one struggling.
• Self-compassion over control. Letting go of the need to ‘fix’ your body and instead focusing on what feels good.
• Trial and error is key. What works for one person might not work for another—it's about listening to your body.
• Keep the conversation going. Body changes in midlife aren’t widely discussed, but they should be.

Join the Conversation

Have you noticed changes in your body that feel completely foreign? What’s helped you navigate this transition? We’d love to hear your experiences. DM us or leave a comment—we’re in this together.

💬 Let’s talk about it.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview 

Have you ever felt like certain people expect more from you than they do from others? Maybe your family still sees you as the one who always shows up, or your friends assume you’ll always make the effort, even when life has changed. In this episode, we unpack the hidden weight of expectations—where they come from, how they get reinforced, and why it’s so difficult to shift them.

We also explore how expectations play out in different areas of life—family, friendships, work, parenting—and why resetting them is so crucial for our well-being. Whether it's learning to say no, setting boundaries, or simply letting go of the pressure to be everything for everyone, this episode will help you reflect on where expectations may be holding you back.

Key Discussion Points:

• Where expectations come from – Why certain people expect more from us than others.
• The role we’ve played in shaping expectations – Have we unknowingly reinforced them?
• Family dynamics – How old roles keep us stuck and why change is hard.
• Friendship & work expectations – How to reset them when life shifts.
• Parenting & expectations – Teaching kids about boundaries while checking our own pressures on them.
• Societal expectations on women – The pressure to be everything and how to let go of what doesn’t serve us.
• Practical ways to reset expectations – Communicating boundaries and updating the version of ourselves others see.

Listener Takeaways:

• Reflect on the expectations in your life—are they fair, and do they still serve you?
• Identify whether you’ve unknowingly reinforced expectations that no longer work for you.
• Learn to communicate shifts in your availability, priorities, or needs.
• Recognize when people are simply taking advantage and how to set firmer boundaries.
• Understand that letting go of outdated expectations isn’t about making others happy—it’s about honoring your own needs.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch easily.

Join the Conversation

Do you struggle with managing expectations in your life? Have you ever had to reset boundaries in a big way? We’d love to hear from you!

📩 Send us a DM or voice message
📧 Email us at [email protected]

If you found this episode helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a review—it really helps us grow. Thanks for being here! 💛

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Have you ever felt like the things that used to bring you joy just… don’t anymore? Like you’re going through the motions, but the spark is gone? That’s anhedonia—the inability to feel pleasure from things that once made you happy. In this episode, we dive into what anhedonia really is, why it happens, and how to gently invite joy back into your life.

We also discuss the work of Dr. Judith Joseph, a psychiatrist who has helped shed light on this experience. Her insights helped us recognize what we were going through—and might help you, too.

Key Discussion Points

• What is anhedonia? The emotional numbness that makes life feel distant.
• Our personal experiences with anhedonia and how we realized what was happening.
• Why it’s not just “feeling down”—how it differs from sadness or a rough patch.
• The connection between anhedonia and stress, burnout, depression, and perimenopause.
• The guilt of not feeling joy, especially as a parent.
• Why ‘snapping out of it’ doesn’t work and how self-criticism makes it worse.
• Small steps that help—how to reconnect with life without forcing joy.
• The importance of naming it, seeking connection, and getting support.

Listener Takeaways

• You are not broken—anhedonia is a symptom, not your identity.
• Naming it is powerful—it helps separate the feeling from who you are.
• Small, gentle actions can help—listening to a song, sitting with a loved one, reaching out to a friend.
• Connection is key—even when you don’t feel like it.
• It’s temporary—you won’t feel like this forever.
• Professional support can make a difference when anhedonia feels overwhelming.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced anhedonia? What has helped you reconnect with joy? We'd love to hear from you! Send us a message or leave us a voicemail—we always love hearing from you.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share, and leave a review. You never know who might need to hear this today.

Sources & Further Reading

• Dr. Judith Joseph – Psychiatrist specializing in mental health and emotional wellness. Learn more about her work here.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
Ever feel like you become a past version of yourself around certain people or places? In this episode, we explore why we unconsciously shrink to fit old roles, especially with family or longtime friends. Inspired by a powerful listener letter, we talk about shifting identities, letting go of outdated labels, and the courage it takes to fully step into who you are now.

Key Discussion Points

• A listener’s story about reverting to their old self at home
• Why we fall back into habits around certain people
• The discomfort of being seen as your “past self”
• Unconscious roles and outdated labels from childhood
• Gossip as default behaviour—and why it’s hard to quit
• How to update your self-image and reclaim your present identity

Listener Takeaways

• Question old self-beliefs—they might not be true anymore
• You’re allowed to grow and change—give yourself that permission
• Notice when you're playing outdated roles—and step out of them
• Stand firm in who you are now, even if others don’t see it yet
• Surround yourself with people who honour your growth

Join the Conversation

What’s one outdated belief about yourself that you need to rewrite? And if you’re struggling to change, is it because you still believe the old story—or because the people around you do?

Send us an email at [email protected]
DM us or leave us a voicemail with your thoughts

📢 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who might need a little permission to grow!

• Gabor Maté’s concept of connection vs. authenticity
• Note to Self (our upcoming book!) Watch this space…

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Just when you think you’ve heard it all, perimenopause throws in a few more surprises—rashes and breathlessness! In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into these lesser-known symptoms, sharing their own experiences, frustrations, and what they’ve found helps (or doesn’t). If you’ve ever wondered why your skin suddenly erupts into chaos or why you’re out of breath just existing, you’re not alone!

Key Discussion Points

• Aileen’s mysterious rash – An itchy, red, and inflamed reaction that appeared out of nowhere and refuses to leave.
• Julie’s itchy legs – Years of unexplained skin irritation, later linked to perimenopause.
• Breathlessness – Aileen shares how simple activities, even talking, are suddenly leaving her winded.
• The missing conversation – Why aren’t doctors warning us about these symptoms? And what if men experienced this?
• What helps – Cooling gels, hydration, avoiding inflammatory foods, and slow breathing techniques.

Listener Takeaways

• Perimenopause affects skin elasticity and moisture levels, leading to rashes and irritation.
• Estrogen plays a role in lung function—when it dips, breathlessness can occur.
• Many symptoms go unrecognized and unacknowledged, making it even more frustrating to find solutions.
• The importance of talking about it—raising awareness so more women know what to expect.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced unexplained rashes, breathlessness, or other unexpected perimenopause symptoms? Have you found anything that helps? We’d love to hear from you! Send us a DM, leave a comment, or drop us a voice note. Let’s make this a conversation, not a solitary struggle.

🎧 Thanks for tuning in to You Keep Me Sane! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with anyone who needs to hear it.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Routine health checks can be a major source of anxiety, especially for women. Mammograms, pap smears, and other screenings come with emotional weight, discomfort, and sometimes even fear. In this episode, we dive into the reality of health anxiety and the barriers preventing many women from getting their regular breast exams.

We’re joined by Naomi Cosman, Global Head of Marketing & Investor Relations at Koning Corporation, to discuss a groundbreaking new technology that’s changing the way women experience breast screening. Say goodbye to painful, outdated mammograms—this is the future of breast health.

Key Discussion Points

• The Reality of Health Anxiety – How routine health screenings can become a significant source of stress for women.
• The Mammogram Experience – From painful compression to long wait times for results, why so many women avoid these essential tests.
• The Shocking Stats – Up to 50% of women skip their annual mammograms due to discomfort and fear.
• A Game-Changing Solution – The Koning Vera Breast CT: no compression, no pain, real 3D imaging, and faster results.
• Why This Matters – Early detection saves lives, but only if women are getting screened.
• What’s Next? – When and where this technology will be available in Australia, the UK, and beyond.

Listener Takeaways

💡 Mammograms miss up to 30% of breast cancers—and up to 70% in women with dense breasts.
💡 The Koning Vera Breast CT eliminates pain and provides more accurate imaging, making breast screening less stressful and more effective.
💡 It’s time for women to advocate for better healthcare solutions—because we deserve medical care that prioritizes comfort and accuracy.

Links

🔗 Learn more about Koning Health and the Vera Breast CT: Koning Health

Join the Conversation

Have you ever skipped a mammogram due to discomfort or fear? Do you think this new technology could help more women take control of their health? Let’s talk!

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend—especially someone who dreads their mammograms. The more we talk about this, the more we can push for better healthcare options for women everywhere.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this episode of Sanity Check, Julie opens up about her recent struggles with anxiety—how it’s been creeping back in despite years of managing it well. She and Aileen discuss the common triggers that can bring anxiety back, the signs to watch for, and practical steps to stop it from spiraling. They also share personal experiences, tools, and small but impactful strategies to calm the nervous system and regain balance.

Key Discussion Points

• How anxiety can unexpectedly return even when you’ve learned to manage it
• Recognizing early warning signs and physical symptoms
• Julie’s personal anxiety “toolkit” and how she uses it to regain balance
• The role of overcommitment, lack of alone time, and lifestyle changes in triggering anxiety
• Small, practical shifts that can help—like breathing exercises, movement, reducing caffeine, and reassessing your to-do list
• Techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, the 3-3-3 rule, and vagus nerve activation
• The power of connection—why reaching out (even with a simple message) can make a difference

Listener Takeaways

• Anxiety doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it just means you need to check in with yourself again.
• Small, simple steps can help break the cycle—start with one change instead of overwhelming yourself.
• Tools like movement, breathwork, journaling, and nervous system support can help ease anxiety.
• You’re not alone—talking about it, even in a small way, can be a powerful shift.

Join the Conversation

If this episode resonated with you, we’d love to hear from you! Send us a DM or voicemail and tell us what works for you when anxiety flares up. And if you know someone who might need this, please share this episode with them.

Links:

• Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at  [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.