The Dr. Leaf Show

You Might Be the Toxic One — Here’s How to Fix It in 5 Steps


Listen Later

Most people believe they’re less harmful than the average person.
But research tells a very different story.

The small things — short replies, subtle defensiveness, dismissive reactions — are often the behaviors that quietly damage relationships over time. And the hardest part? Most people don’t see it in themselves.

In this episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf breaks down why toxic behavior doesn’t begin with bad intentions — it begins with an unresolved thought. Using neuroscience and mind-brain research, she explains the hidden internal sequence that drives your reactions:

Signal → Trigger → Thought → Meaning → Action

Once you see this pattern, you can finally change it.

You’ll learn how to identify the exact moment your reactions are formed, uncover the thought behind your behavior, and take intentional steps to rewire patterns that others experience as “toxic” — even when you don’t mean them that way.

🔬 What you’ll learn:

  • Why the gap between intention and impact is where toxic patterns live
  • How confirmation bias blinds you to your own behavior
  • The real reason you become defensive, dismissive, or reactive
  • How to identify the one thought driving your reaction
  • A 5-step framework to change patterns and improve your relationships
  • 🧩 Resources & Support:

    Explore tools to help you apply what you learn in this episode:

    • Dr. Leaf’s research-backed resources & coaching: drleaf.com
    • Neurocycle® App — track your emotional warning signals and retrain thought patterns
    • Books & courses to help you manage your mind and transform your habits

    • 1:1 Coaching with Dr. Leaf https://drleaf.com/coaching-1-1


      💬 What pattern did you recognize in yourself while listening?
      Awareness is the first step toward change.


      Sponsors making this show possible:

      BETTERHELP: Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/drleaf.

      SHOPIFY: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at Shopify.com/leaf

      BROOKLYN BEDDING: Get 30% OFF with code DRLEAF at Brooklynbedding.com

      VERACITY: So make the switch to GLP-1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth.co and use code DRLEAF for up to 60% off your order.

      HELLOFRESH: Go to HelloFresh.com/drleaf10fm to get 10 free meals plus a FREE Zwilling Knife — a $144.99 value — on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan.


      ...more
      View all episodesView all episodes
      Download on the App Store

      The Dr. Leaf ShowBy Dr. Caroline Leaf

      • 4.7
      • 4.7
      • 4.7
      • 4.7
      • 4.7

      4.7

      3,092 ratings


      More shows like The Dr. Leaf Show

      View all
      Joyce Meyer Enjoying Everyday Life® Radio Podcast by Joyce Meyer

      Joyce Meyer Enjoying Everyday Life® Radio Podcast

      9,367 Listeners

      Joyce Meyer Enjoying Everyday Life® TV Audio Podcast by Joyce Meyer

      Joyce Meyer Enjoying Everyday Life® TV Audio Podcast

      5,221 Listeners

      Elevation with Steven Furtick by iHeartPodcasts

      Elevation with Steven Furtick

      15,760 Listeners

      Joyce Meyer Enjoying Everyday Life® TV Podcast by Joyce Meyer

      Joyce Meyer Enjoying Everyday Life® TV Podcast

      3,438 Listeners

      Pastor Rick's Daily Hope by PastorRick.com

      Pastor Rick's Daily Hope

      7,449 Listeners

      The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast by The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast

      The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast

      4,843 Listeners

      Terri Savelle Foy Podcast Audio by Terri Savelle Foy Ministries

      Terri Savelle Foy Podcast Audio

      867 Listeners

      Joyce Meyer's Talk It Out Podcast by Joyce Meyer

      Joyce Meyer's Talk It Out Podcast

      1,560 Listeners

      The Boundaries.me Podcast by Dr. Henry Cloud

      The Boundaries.me Podcast

      855 Listeners

      Equip & Empower Podcast with Christine Caine by Christine Caine

      Equip & Empower Podcast with Christine Caine

      1,841 Listeners

      Bethel Redding Sermon of the Week by Bethel Redding

      Bethel Redding Sermon of the Week

      520 Listeners

      The Best of You by Dr. Alison Cook

      The Best of You

      900 Listeners

      Therapy and Theology by Lysa TerKeurst

      Therapy and Theology

      2,065 Listeners

      Christine Caine's Life & Leadership Podcast with Propel Women by AccessMore

      Christine Caine's Life & Leadership Podcast with Propel Women

      181 Listeners