Your Kickstarter Sucks

I am the LunchBorn, Master of the Midday, Knight of the Noontable, and heir to the Sandwich Throne. My sword is LunchKeeper, The Hunger's Bane, The DeliKiller, a salt-sharpened blade forged in the fires of a dirty Oster microwave. With it, I smite the villainous Growling Tummy and banish him from the Workrealm.

Today on the show we've got a bunch of crap. Check it out.

Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer PBostrum. Thanks everyone.

This week's YKS is brought to you by MyBookie. The NFL season is about to begin, and I'll tell ya what, you sure can bet on it at MyBookie. I've done it before, and I'll do it again! It's fun! Week 1 is almost here and if you wanna get a parlay, supercontest, or hell, just a classic bet against the spread going, sign up at MyBookie and use promo code YKS to double your first deposit. Now that's what I call a touchdown.

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If we've said it once, we've said it a thousand times: stop whackin off to us! On today's show we've got a great bit based on something I found on my desk (don't skip ahead to it, let it come naturally; worth the wait), plus sort of the classic set-up of the show: 90 minutes long, not too many silent parts, Mike plays a fart sound at some point. Anti-Covid t-shirt, Trump Against Humanity, a nasty pimple popping thing, a psycho lady's dog talking to her, and more! Only on YKS. "YKS. Where else ya gonna find it?" #YKS #WhereElse

Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer PBostrom.

For more YKS, check out the YKS Premium Patreon. People are always asking us, "Where do you come up with your crazy ideas?" Well, we mostly do it on YKS Premium. That's where the true seeds of wacky ingenuity take hold, and you can be a part of it yourself with just $5. Enjoy movie commentaries, bonus Kickstarters, great guests, and I believe Mike takes his penis out in one episode as well -- only on YKS Premium -- "It's the Preem!" #Preem

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Oh no! It's almost time for the big episode to come out and we don't have a title! Let's see, let's see...I know I had a list of great episode titles around here somewhere. The Grouse of Mouse? Doesn't make sense. Fries with That? No, should have used that for the Doughboys ep. Poop Olympics? That's great but I think we already used it. Dang it! We don't have time for this. I'm just going to have to go with the next thing I pull out of the big Title Hat. I hope it's good, or people are gonna be really mad at me and not Mike for some reason. Okay. It's time. Here goes nothin!

Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer PBostrom.

This episode of YKS is sponsored by Wipers123.com. These folks take windshield wipers so seriously, it's actually hard to get them to focus on anything else. Hey, c'mon! I thought we were ordering food! What do you want? Are we doing Greek again? That kind of thing. But at the end of the day, we all gotta eat. And we gotta get wiper blades, too. So, my suggestion: try a vegan place (good for environment?) and head over to Wipers123.com, and use promo code YOURKICKSTARTERSUCKS for $10 off your order of SpeedSets. That's one of the wiper blade kinds you can get there, and from what I understand, they're pretty good. Anyway don't forget the promo code. Thanks.

Also, check out YKS Premium on Patreon for more YKS -- ad free eps, up to 5 bonus eps a month, 4 newsletters, store discounts, whatever you could want basically.

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Thank you! For! Your! Service! The undisputed Song of the Summer is here and, no, the singer didn't even have to talk about their "you know what" being "you know what". Hear it first on today's show before anywhere else, because no one else has the guts to play it! We treat you right (Dairy Queen). Plus: we slay some bastards, finally find a way to carry our fishing pole around on our motorcycles, and fill some guitars with liquid for whatever reason. Damn. That is awesome. Most importantly, DB says 2 things wrong that we will never let him forget. Let him hear it on twitter: @dogboner

Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer: PBostrom

Hey and for more YKS, check out YKS Premium on Patreon. $5 a month gets ya 4 exclusive episodes a month, and $8 a month gets ya 5(!), plus a weekly newsletter and more. It's a good thing (Martha Stewart).

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Hey, we're helpin' over here! That's right folks, it's another week on Earth which means another YKS has been uploaded to everyone's desktop PCs for their fullscreen listening pleasure. This week on the show we are figuring out how to interact with the police safely, paying to hear a weirdo's dreams, and sucking on a pen with our big slobbery mouths due to anxiety. Plus at least 3 additional things are said throughout the episode. Download this one now while you still can! It's a collector's item that will only increase in value! This episode is an investment for your and your children's future! I really believe this!

And for more YKS check out YKS Premium on Patreon. Last week we had our friends Dril and Derek from TruthPoint on and they tried to win a bunch of money. Did it work out? Well you'll just have to listen for yourself. Or ask them if you want. But maybe they won't reply, or maybe they'll lie to you. Easier to just do my thing, I think.

Finally, this episode of YKS is sponsored by Manscaped. Hey if your shit is looking like that Black Crowes album cover (Amorica I think) then check out Manscaped. They ship to Canada now, and it probably comes in a bag like the milk they love so much up there. I wasn't just guessing about the album cover, I actually had to look it up. I don't listen to the Black Crowes. Just a small confession there. Here's another one: Manscaped's Lawn Mower 3.0 is really good, but it would be even better at 80% of the cost (hey what wouldn't), which is why we forced them to provide a discount code for our listeners. For 20% off and free shipping, smash in the promo code YKS at check out.

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Hey...have you ever wanted to surf? Well grab a board and hang ten brah! It's a gnarly podcast ocean out there and we're just trying to catch a wave....Sheeaahhh man! Alright enough of that. It's time to post the show. This week we're toasting our phones, enjoying the new Drill (same as the old Drill?), and finally trumping Trump with -- what else -- song! Come along with the boys and remember the bad experience of going to a water park as a kid, plus answer the question all capitalists want to know: What's in your wallet? Tubular! Ran out of surfing guy stuff to say, sorry.

Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.

For more YKS, check out the YKS Patreon. Hell, if you didn't skip the ad in the show, you heard me say it already. But if you're one of the 15 second skip jockeys, here's the deal. $5 gets ya 4 bonus eps a month. $8 gets ya 5 eps, 4 newsletters, merch discounts, and a box of custom injection-molded Mike and JF figurines (with realistic articulating legs and gun attachments).

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Welllllllllllll, well it's The Big Show! That was the entrance music of a wrestling guy from a number of years ago, but today we've got an episode of a podcast that could arguably go by the same name. That's because on episode 158 of YKS, we'll be introducing some products to you that might be able to make a real difference in your lives! Haha just kidding. We're going to talk about a penis board game. But there's also smart diapers, a joke of the day calendar for the terminally ill, and a product that promises to shave up to 1.2 seconds off the amount of time it takes to chug a Simply Alcohol (TM) Mango Wango Hard Sparkling Rosé Smoothie. Finally! That's time I can now spend explaining to my kids why the COVID-19 virus deserves all As.

Music for YKS is courtesy of The Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.

Today's episode of YKS is sponsored by Wipers123. They've been selling wiper blades for so long they've gotten to be pretty good at it. I've got some here at the house, and in my opinion, I don't know how you'd do it any better than Wipers123. Don't believe me? Fine. I don't care. For everyone else, go to Wipers123.com and use promo code YOURKICKSTARTERSUCKS for $10 off your order of SpeedSets, which sounds like a very fast type of windshield wiper.

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Naming the episode after a throwaway joke that will be dated by the time people hear it, not to mention years later...Winning! On this episode of YKS, we're reinventing late night television, the way people talk about weed, and in-car video content. Don't miss this episode, folks, the one they're calling "The Episode That's Out Today". It's gonna be yuuge (Donald Tump!.)

Music for YKS is courtesy of The Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.

For an ad-free version of the show, up to 5 bonus episodes (and more!!!) check out YKS Premium on Patreon. Hell of a deal. Hell of a deal.

Today's episode of the show is sponsored by Manscaped. It's a nice thing to get if you'd like to have your nuts trimmed up and good-smelling, so check that out if ya want. For 20% off and free shipping, go to Manscaped.com and use promo code YKS.

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Your Kickstarter Sucks so bad, we didn't even talk about it! This week on the show, we welcome back the Doughboys Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell for a crowdfunding-free discussion of Star Wars, Labor Day, and of course, strokin' your "thing". Plus, the so-called "food experts" compete head to head with DB in the contest of wits with a confusing rule set and inconsistent question structure we're calling FoodPardy! (Jeopardy! ha) All that and more on today's YKS. Check it out.

Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.

For more YKS, subscribe to YKS Premium. $5 a month gets you 4 bonus episodes, and for $3 more you can add a weekly newsletter, merch discounts, and an exclusive 5th bonus episode every month. Normally we put the guest episodes over there, but sometimes we'll switch it up and do this. Never can tell with us. Tricky! And that's what makes it so much fun.

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Hey what if Mr. Magoo was walking around in today's times? It's not that difficult to imagine. Folks we've got a long episode today...almost as long as my hair has been getting due to quarantine! And it's just about as good, too. Smack that play button for some classic jokes, goofs, and smart stuff to say, as well as little Canadian pokemon guys, a new stupid mask type, a bad board game, and more.

Music for YKS is courtesy of The Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.

For more YKS check out the YKS Premium Patreon page. For five bones a month, you can get 4 bonus episodes, which, hey, that's great. Stop there and nobody's gonna fault ya. But step up to the new Squeeze Louise tier of support and enjoy an exclusive 5th bonus episode and a weekly newsletter featuring more info on these piece of shit Kickstarters. Not bad!

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