When we suffer loss, we often ask ourselves how to get over grief. But what if grief isn't something we're meant to get over at all? What if it's something we're meant to learn to carry?

In this deeply reflective conversation, I sit down with a mental health advocate and counsellor Bahati Mandago to explore grief beyond bereavement. Bahati wrote a book on grief called Luna, as a way to connect with her clients during sessions on grief. We set out to talk about that book. However, we ended up unpacking the losses we rarely name, the emotions we struggle to acknowledge, and the surprising ways grief reveals who we are beneath the surface.

Having lost my own father in May this year, I felt this episode needed to be about slowing down and trying to learn fromgrief as a teacher—one that exposes our deepest loves, unmetexpectations, unresolved wounds, and capacity for growth.Whether you're grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a dream, or a version of yourself, this conversation is an invitation to reflect on what grief might be trying to tell you.

In this episode we explore:

• Why grief is about more than death

• The different kinds of loss we carry

• What grief reveals about our inner lives

• The difference between accepting a loss and making peace with it

• Why healing doesn't always mean "moving on"

• The guilt of finding joy again

• Remembering versus forgetting

• What it means to carry grief with grace

Perhaps what grief is trying to tell us is this:

"Pay attention. Here is something for you to understand."

Credits:

Music track: At Ease by Hazelwood

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This episode starts with something simple, but not small. A question we often rehearse and think we know how to answer: who are you? With conviction and flair, Ferdinand Kamuzora answers it directly: he is human first.

From there, we talk about identity. What happens when you begin removing the things you’ve used to define yourself. The titles, the expectations, the versions of you that make sense to other people. He talks about self-image and how it shifts when those things fall away.

This becomes a conversation about what remains when roles no longer define you. What do you build your self-image on when you are not relying on labels to explain you? He brings in Nietzsche’s concept of the “Übermensch” — the idea of a self that is continuously shaped by values you choose to embody.

I ask him: what is his male perspective on self image? And this is where the tension comes in.

Because even when someone steps away from labels, people still interpret them through those same labels. Especially when it comes to gender. There is a gap between how he defines himself and how he is seen, and that gap becomes part of the conversation. He resists being reduced to a category. I try to hold space for what that resistance is pointing to.

This year has been something, hasn't it? Whew! As 2025 comes to an end, here's a few truths we're sitting with that many of us didn’t have language for before.

In this year-end Zoom with Mari conversation, my friend Hellen and I unpack what overachieving looks like during the holidays, how productivity can quietly replace presence, and why so many high-functioning people struggle to stop, even when the world slows down.

This episode is dedicated to the overachievers who didn’t take a break this holiday season—or any season, not because they didn’t want rest, but because rest didn’t feel safe, earned, or even possible.

It is a gentle closing episode for the year, inviting honesty, self-compassion, and a softer way forward. If you or someone you know struggles with staying still and unproductive, this is the episode for you. As Hellen and I both reflect on why we are both overachievers, our conversation leads us to some uncomfortable truths.

And some end-of-year epiphanies.

You can listen to this episode from wherever you get your podcasts!

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Remember, Your Mind Matters Too!

Two years ago on March 2023 I shared a conversation that I had with my good friend Marc Ngotonie. In it, we talked about what mental health means for him, and what he was doing to create spaces for it. Marc shared a deeply insightful take on society's expectations on men and how this affects their mental health.

About a month ago - about two years later - Marc and I reconnect. He shares how responsibilities in life changed his priorities and what looking after his mental health looks like now. We catch up on the loss of spaces to talk about mental health and what that means to him.

Excitedly, we also talk about his new marriage and what being married is teaching him. This is a conversation about being open to learning what life throws at you. Marc demonstrates this with humility, intellect and a deep desire to foster a beautiful and meaningful life with his wife.

You can listen to this episode from wherever you get your podcasts!

Connect with me and stay updated:

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• Follow Mariam Simbeye: @SimbeyeMariam
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Remember, Your Mind Matters Too!

I used to think detachment was this cold thing people did to avoid feeling. I saw it as aloof, impenetrable… even unkind. A way to escape accountability or vulnerability. But here’s the truth: I was doing it too. Not to hurt anyone, but to survive.

In this episode of Your Mind Matters Too, I open up about how detachment became my survival mechanism. It was the armor I didn’t know I’d built; the way I protected myself when I didn’t have better tools.

But I’m learning now that there’s a difference between shutting down and setting boundaries. Especially as an empath, detachment doesn’t mean disconnection. It means learning to discern: what’s mine to carry, and what’s not.

I’m still figuring it out. And I don’t always get it right. But like most things in healing, I don’t do it to be perfect— I do it because it’s the perfectly right thing for me.

Tune in wherever you get your podcasts. This one’s for anyone learning how to feel deeply without losing themselves in the process.

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Healing is a personal journey, but are you truly holding yourself accountable? In this episode, I delve into the concept of practising radical accountability—exploring what that may look like, what it doesn’t, and why it’s so transformative.

In this episode I’ll unpack:

Healing starts with you—but you don’t have to do it alone. Listen now to begin your journey.

Episode Summary: In this episode, I take a compassionate and unfiltered look at addiction—not just as a habit but as a deeply rooted response to unhealed emotional pain. This isn’t about defining addiction or exploring its surface-level symptoms. Instead, I am asking a much harder, often ignored question: Why does addiction happen?

By diving into the complex human experience behind addiction, I hope to offer listeners a fresh perspective on how we view addiction in our society. I talk about the different forms addiction can take—beyond drugs and alcohol—and why, despite increasing awareness, Tanzania and many societies around the world still struggle to find truly holistic ways to address it.

I also share a little of my journey, exploring the lessons I’ve learned about the need for compassion, the courage to acknowledge our wounds and the deep desire we all have to self-soothe in the face of pain.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

A reflection on addiction as a reaction to pain, rather than simply a habit

Insights into why our society often fails to treat addiction holistically.

The importance of asking “why” addiction happens, rather than focusing solely on what an addiction looks like. Why it’s critical to recognize behavioral addictions—those often hidden or socially accepted, yet equally as impactful.

A heartfelt message to anyone struggling with addiction, or loving someone who is, with a reminder that healing isn’t something anyone can or should try to do alone

A Personal Note: This episode is for everyone who has felt the weight of addiction in any form—whether in themselves or in someone they care about. I approach this conversation with humility, recognizing that there’s so much we all still need to learn. As we go through this journey together, my hope is to open up the conversation about addiction in a way that encourages understanding, healing, and, above all, compassion.

Thank you for tuning in, being open to the tough questions, and walking with me through this deeply personal exploration.

Hi there mental health lovers!

I am back again for a new season and I could not be more thrilled! Inspired by the critically acclaimed movie adaptation of Colleen Hoover's "It Ends With Us," I find myself asking this question: Should love hurt? I mean seriously, I am a little torn about it...

In this episode, I cover what it means to be fully human; to feel and to love, even when it hurts. But I ask still, should love hurt? No one is impervious to pain and pain demands to be felt, but what DOES that mean for our romantic relationships if love is pain?

Tune in today without missing a beat and if you like what you just heard, do share an episode with a friend or loved one 😉

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Hi there, and welcome to my podcast!

I'm Mariam Simbeye, and if you're looking for a safe space to explore conversations around mental health, you're in the right place. Join me as I openly share my own personal journey through some of my toughest struggles, with the hope that my story resonates with you and encourages you to talk about your own challenges and seek the help you deserve.

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