Your Mind Matters Too!

Masuma Somji is a kickass mental health activist, feminist, and teacher! Amongst other things, she vocally advocates for mental health awareness and uses her platform to speak against gender-based violence and patriarchy. Her story is one forged from violence and pain; having grown up in an oppressive and increasingly patriarchal community, having been married at 19 to a man who physically and verbally abused her, and making the painful decision to leave him - and her kids. She's a perfect example of learning in real-time, a woman brave enough to open her heart and show us all the scars inside. She's a friend and an absolute sweetheart; this conversation is one of many I'll have with her. 

You can follow Masuma via Instagram @masuma_somji 

Watch her incredible movie about mental health - based on real-life events - at https://youtu.be/8QiF2gcg_vU 

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Zoom with Mari is a new segment of the podcast Your Mind Matters Too where I talk with some of my favorite people via Zoom about various topics. Our conversations are deep, lighthearted, painful, and sometimes uncomfortable but I believe necessary. These are the people I could talk to for hours and never feel like a single minute has passed and I wanted a chance for you all to experience some of their incredible light as much as I do. 

You can now listen via www.mariamsimbeye.com/podcast 

Get podcast updates via:

    Podcast social media:

Website: www.mariamsimbeye.com/podcast 

Twitter: @_yourmindthepod

Instagram: @_yourmindthepodcast 

Facebook: Your Mind Matters Too

Emotions come in different ranges for us all. How we feel influences how we move through the world and feel about ourselves. We quickly learn to connect through language as children but when we get older, we feel disconnected from ourselves and from those around us because our universes are limited by the language of our emotions.  I got a little nerdy in this episode because I referred to my favorite researcher Dr. Brenè Brown's newest bestseller Atlas of the Heart. In this book, she teaches us the power of the language of emotions. 

This episode is the first part of a two-part podcast on how to use language to name our emotions. In that sense, this is the journey to properly connect with our inner selves. 

I am guided by the question: WHY WE DO STRUGGLE WITH NAMING OUR EMOTIONS? 

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Instagram: @_yourmindthepodcast / @_sheismari_ 

Facebook: Your Mind Matters Too! 

*** If you want to be featured in Part Two of this podcast, send me a voice note and I'll play it as one of my segments. 

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If you would like to learn more:

Books: 

1. Atlas of the Heart - https://brenebrown.com/book/atlas-of-the-heart/ 

2. Healing Trauma - https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Trauma-Pioneering-Program-Restoring/dp/159179658X 

Other Podcasts:

1. Super Soul - https://podcasts.apple.com/tz/podcast/bren%C3%A9-brown-atlas-of-the-heart-part-1/id1264843400?i=1000543582754 

                     - https://podcasts.apple.com/tz/podcast/bren%C3%A9-brown-atlas-of-the-heart-part-2/id1264843400?i=1000543582888 

2. We Can Do Hard Things - https://podcasts.apple.com/tz/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things-with-glennon-doyle/id1564530722?i=1000555783926

3. The Codependent Perfectionist - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/parenting-spicy-children-with-heidi-rogers/id1457781449?i=1000568438817

“Fake It Till You Make It” is the lie we get told because someone thought it would be fun to tell other people that the only way they will get through life is if they faked everything that was going wrong and pretended it wasn’t. This is a mindset left over from generations taught to ignore adversity; thrive in it and wait for salvation. 

Might be controversial - but I don’t think it worked then. 

It certainly does not work today. 

Today, saying “fake it till you make it” is as good as signing someone’s death. While some people function relatively well while “faking” their problems, where mental health is concerned, the ONLY way to make it through a mental health crisis is by working through it. 

So don’t fake it, talk about it. 

So don’t fake it, cry about it. 

So don’t fake it, get help to get over it. 

So don’t fake it, you won’t make it!

What does it mean when we are asked to “SHOW UP?”

It can mean physically showing your presence when someone needs you or it can mean some more covert things like giving your time listening to a friend whose heart is breaking. Showing up is our human way of saying we care for one another and it looks different for everyone. 

There is no “one right way” of showing up and perhaps that’s the beauty of it - it means YOU get to decide how YOU wish to show up for those you care about, taking into consideration your belief systems, your joys, your fears and your own opinions about what it means to show up.

In this episode, I talk about how a friend that had died showed up for me and how I continue to honor him by trying to show up for myself and for those I love in the best ways I know how. I fail sometimes because I am constantly learning about what things work for me and what do not. But I still try to show up the best way I know how; by being completely, authentically me. That doesn’t come easy but when it does, boy, I show up selflessly.

I also talk about what it means to show up for MYSELF. Something as easy as being brutally honest with myself about where I am in my journey allows me to honor my heart even when I am showing up for others. Especially then. 

Life is hard and messy. 

And we all need people to show up for us.

How that will look like is entirely up to YOU.

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I hope you enjoy this episode and it resonates with you. Please consider leaving me a review to let me know what you think and please do share the link to the podcast with your loved ones. That's one way that YOU can SHOW UP for ME!! 

I recognize that I’m good at many things and I also know I struggle with many other things. In this week’s episode, I talk about how I struggle with being vulnerable and how that has affected how I deal with my mental health. This episode is about working through the uncomfortable feelings and doing hard things - however that looks like for you. Perhaps your hard thing is quitting a bad habit, or it is finally living your life in the most authentic way you can imagine for yourself. But for some reason or another, it doesn’t come easy for you to do that. This episode is a reminder that whatever your hard thing is, find it, embrace it, and do it anyway.

Instagram: @_yourmindthepodcast / @_sheismari_ 

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PART ONE: 

PART TWO: 

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This episode is all about how shame is at the root of all our struggles with mental health. We have been so conditioned to avoid the shame that the very thing we end up feeling in the midst of struggle is shame. Learning from Dr. Brènè Brown's research and her famous TEDx Talk on Shame and Vulnerability, as well as her book The Gifts of Imperfections, I unpack some of the instances where I have felt shame during my mental health struggle. In the end, the lesson is pretty simple: Shame needs secrecy to survive so to survive that, you must tell your story.

"Mental health is not real." 

"You're seeking attention." 

"Depression is a choice." 

These are some of the things that people say because they don't understand the toll it takes on a survivor that battles mental illness. This episode is about setting the record straight: that none of these things are true. The misinformation on mental health hurts both the survivor and everyone else in the community. It's time to have that difficult conversation about what is the right thing to say to a mental health survivor.

Welcome to my podcast! If you're interested in learning in real-time about how you can process your mental health struggles then this is the podcast for you. Follow me as I share my personal, intimate, and open insight on issues relating to mental health, relationships, religion, work and everything else in between. Let's normalize these conversations for us all!

IG: @_yourmindthepodcast, @_sheismari_

Twitter: @_yourmindthepod, @Simbeyemariam

If you would like to be a part of this podcast, please reach out to me via email [email protected]