Your Stupid Minds

You demanded it and we delivered! Actually, no one requested this movie, and we may catch some flak for reviewing it. Francis Ford Coppola slums it in the cash grab maudlin 90s with 1996's Jack! Robin Williams (also slumming it) plays Jack, a ten year old boy with a fictional medical condition that causes him to age at four times the normal rate. This gives Williams ample opportunity to utilize his deadpan imitation of a five year old boy. But just in case you thought this movie was funny, it frequently vacillates from goofy romp to melancholy reflection on mortality more quickly than an episode of M*A*S*H. Also starring Jennifer Lopez, Bill Cosby, Diane Lane, and Fran Drescher.

Your Stupid Minds finally covers one of the A-listers in the schlock movie pantheon: Andy Sidaris's Hard Ticket to Hawaii. Sidaris was a sports director who decided to jump over to 1980s sexploitation flicks. With muse and former Playmate of the Month Dona Speir, he went on a quest to create the most bonkers action films of the decade.

Donna (Spier) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) are buxom drug agents who stumble on an RC helicopter-based diamond smuggling drug ring. They elicit the help of boyfriend agent Rowdy (Ronn Moss) and Jade (South Florida kickboxing superstar Harold Diamond) to rescue their friend and blow up as many things as possible. There's also a contaminated killer snake, several deaths by Bazooka, a zany handstand skateboarding assassin, and a spiked death frisbee.

It's Your Stupid Minds' Bonus 100th Episode Clip Spectacular! Featuring some of our (and your) favorite moments from the last 100 episodes. Don't expect a breakdown of each clip because we don't want to right now! We hope you enjoy this compilation of what we think our our best bits, skits, discussions, and songs from the last four years. See you at again after episode 200!

Your Stupid Minds celebrates its 100th episode by filling out Neil Breen's current oeuvre. Before the imminent wide release of his most recent film Pass Thru (which we wanted to watch but is not reasonably available in the state of Texas), we reviewed Neil's first feature film, 2005's Double Down!

Neil Breen is war hero and elite hacker terrorist inventor Aaron Brand (who will forever be referred to as Neil Breen). Breen is a mercenary working for American and foreign government agents on counterterrorism while also being a terrorist himself! His change of heart comes after his bride to be Megan (Laura Hale) is accidentally murdered during the couple's nude pool engagement.

Breen goes further off the deep end (pool humor) and creates a freelance mercenary business out of his late 80s Mercedes; inventing an invisibility cloak and hacking murder shield to help it along. While working for all governments and terrorism sects, he also has terroristic traps set up all around the world (but primarily in Breen's director's trademark city of Las Vegas).

Will he have a change of heart? Will he avenge Megan with his insane crimes against humanity? Will he save some little girl who has brain cancer? Will his dead parents explain what heaven is like? Did Neil Breen acquire his early 90s stock footage from a Harrah's dumpster? Find out in this special episode!

Fans of truly execrable cinema are in for a treat as we review 1984's Bolero. Can the film that gave MGM an excuse to end its shameful partnership with the Cannon Group/Golan-Globus be that bad? What if I told you it also won the Razzie award for Worst Picture, Worst Actress (beating out Faye Dunaway in Supergirl!), Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, and Worst New Star? For once, everything you've heard turns out to be true! This film is indefensibly, inexplicably bad!

Joan Severance lays out some vigilante justice in the Roger Corman produced comic book inspired Showtime original movie Black Scorpion! The movie also resulted in a sequel and Sci-Fi Channel original series.

Darcy Walker (Severance) is a girl raised by her murderous cop father Lt. Stan Walker (Rick Rossovich) with a scorpion infatuation. Stan stops methed out maniac at a hospital by gunning him down with a doctor between him and is kicked off the force. Darcy enters the force decades later and goes undercover as a prostitute to bring down a mass murderer. Her plans are put on hold when her father is gunned down in a bar, and she transforms into the Black Scorpion to lay down the law with her taser boots, taser scorpion ring, and whip.

Note: This episode is a rebroadcast from April 3, 2014 to gear up for our 100th episode spectacular.

Your Stupid Minds celebrates its FIFTIETH episode. In keeping with our status as a cutting edge resource for all things camp, cult, genre, b, and otherwise considered bad movies, we went on a special podcast field trip to the Alamo Drafthouse for a special midnight screening of the newest entry into the bad movie canon: Fateful Findings! Las Vegas filmmaker Neil Breen brings us his supernatural hacker romance thriller. The protagonist (played by, who else, Neil Breen) gets into a car accident and unlocks supernatural hacking powers, which he uses to hack the most secret government and corporate secrets. This doesn’t sit well with his pill popping wife Emily, who slurs her displeasure in a heavy polish accent. Fateful Findings definitely resides on the Bad Movie Mount Rushmore, with Neil Breen’s face alongside Ed Wood, Tommy Wiseau, and James Nguyen.

Your Stupid Minds finally makes its Hammer podcast debut with a film that strays a bit from the usual Hammer formula. We don't see a traditional horror monster, and Christopher Lee is cast as the hero. A creepy, occult-obsessed Dracula-looking hero, but a hero nonetheless.

When Nicholas, Duc de Richleau, (Lee) and his friend Rex Van Ryn (Leon Greene) visit their friend's son Simon (Patrick Mower, looking a lot like Topher Grace), Nicholas recognizes a five pointed, goat-faced floor installation and suspicious rooster to be signs that their young friend has fallen in with Satanists, even as Rex flirts with Tanith (Nike Arrighi), a young ingenue. When Nicholas and Rex disrupt a Satanist gathering led by the evil Mocata (Charles Gray), rescuing Simon and kidnapping Tanith, it escalates the conflict into a full-on Satanist vs. good Christian battle of wills. More people are involved, seances are conducted, and crucifixes are thrown at puppets. It's all great fun!

Travel with Your Stupid Minds back to the swinging 60s and their idea of a dystopian future in: The 10th Victim! In the future, war has been eliminated by the creation of a game show/Hunger Games-type scenario. All violent people are recruited into playing "The Great Hunt," a contest where an individual is designated either hunter or victim. If they can successfully kill their opponents ten times, they are rewarded with ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS.

After Caroline (Ursula Andress) erotically defeats her hunter via gun-bra, her next assignment: acting as hunter against the taciturn Italian Marcello (frequent Fellini collaborator Marcello Mastroianni). Can she seduce him into being murdered, or worse, falling in love?

Your Stupid Minds returns to its roots with a vigilante revenge movie: 1989's Ghetto Blaster! But don't be fooled by the title. Yes, it does feature an exploding boombox, but it's also a double entendre about a white guy murdering people of color!

Richard Hatch (both Battlestar Galacticas) stars as Travis, a good honest dude just like you and me who returns to the neighborhood where he grew up to discover it's overrun by gang activity! The Hammers have taken over, and use their power to murder innocent people, rape women, and steal boomboxes from unsuspecting children. After his father and new friend are murdered, Travis takes the law into his own hands. Using childish pranks and elaborate clown-based drug heists, Travis hits the gang where it hurts until his daughter his kidnapped and he just decides to murder everyone.