Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life

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During the holiday season so many feel alone, remembering those who are no longer here, or the holidays gone by. This is a time of love and connection, celebrating together and sharing memories. As times are different right now, we must reach further into our relationships and realize that those we've loved and interacted with deeply are always with us. Right here. Our connection cannot disappear although the physical person may no longer be seen. But that which loved, that which laughed and touched us, that part, can never be destroyed. On our holiday  journey to freedom and to truth, this is a such a vital point to experience. Once we have our relationship with the infinite strong, it's clear that nothing goes away. Blessings and love to all.

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Most of us the sorrow, upset and difficulty in relationships happens when things don't go our way. Our hopes, demands, images and dreams have been dashed. All the work we did to make things "work out" has failed. Many label themselves and others failures. They refuse to try again, or develop resentment against themselves, against others and even life itself.  What we do not see is that everything works out perfectly, just as it does. Whatever happens is beneficial for us, if we know how to receive it properly. When we view ourselves and others as failures, we basically having a tantrum, because things didn't work out as we wished. We are rejecting what life is offering, and demanding that we know best.  However, there is a larger intelligence that knows better than any of us. It seems the largest picture possible and responds in accordance with that. Once we are able to allow that larger intelligence to work as it does, to receive, honor and taste it fully our anger and upset dissolve. Then, we too, can see the true meaning in all that happens, and the love that is always underneath it all. 

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PART 2:

his Episode is in two parts.  It's fascinating to notice that the natural world works together organically,  in incredible harmony, intelligence. Night follows day, spring follows winter. Everything has a time and place and is allowed to function as it is intended. There's no competition between flowers for which is more beautiful. One tree does not try to squash another because it grows differently. In fact each supports the life of the other in a pattern way beyond our knowing. Why is this is not so in relationships? What is it that causes the constant disruption, friction, hurt and anger we experience with one another. How can it be dissolved so that our relationships, like everything else can return to the natural harmony? Perhaps this sounds impossible, but it is not. There is wisdom we can apply to our interactions that allows us all to make real room for everyone to be exactly as they are, including ourselves. We can find ways to make space to be together in a natural and healthy manner that allows to love and respect to appear. 

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This Episode is in two parts.  It's fascinating to notice that the natural world works together organically,  in incredible harmony, intelligence. Night follows day, spring follows winter. Everything has a time and place and is allowed to function as it is intended. There's no competition between flowers for which is more beautiful. One tree does not try to squash another because it grows differently. In fact each supports the life of the other in a pattern way beyond our knowing. Why is this is not so in relationships? What is it that causes the constant disruption, friction, hurt and anger we experience with one another. How can it be dissolved so that our relationships, like everything else can return to the natural harmony? Perhaps this sounds impossible, but it is not. There is wisdom we can apply to our interactions that allows us all to make real room for everyone to be exactly as they are, including ourselves. We can find ways to make space to be together in a natural and healthy manner that allows to love and respect to appear. 

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The great suffering we all endure is the sense of separation from one another and ourselves. The world as we experience it, is experienced as an opponent. We're always getting ready for trouble, danger, sorrow and betrayal.   As we build up our defenses, we are in fact, creating the prison of fear and aloneness we then become trapped in. The stronger our defenses and opposition to life are, the less we are able to taste that which would free and save us. When we, let the world in, stop opposing, judging and fighting it off,  our strength returns. We begin to taste the precious oneness, which will enliven, heal and fill us with the happiness, love and well being we have been longing for.

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We live as though we are separate, and seek connection, provision and understanding wherever we go. However, Zen practice shows us that whatever we do, we are connected. There is nothing but relationship. And as we understand and practice this, as we honor all that comes to us, it becomes easy to see that the Giver and Receiver are one. The ancient Zen practice of begging, Takahatsu, displays this beautiful dance wonderfully.  The monks come into the village to receive provisions. They wear a straw hat, cover their eyes, and chant as they arrive to let the villagers now they're coming. Then they simply hold out their empty bowl. When someone comes to make an offering, both bow to one another, and no one can see the others face. There is no shame for another, no praise for giving, just the act of giving and receiving in which they are One.  And thanks from both sides for the gift each gives. What a beautiful model of a relationship, as each plays their role harmoniously and both gives and receives at the same time. Nothing unfulfilled.

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It might come as a surprise to wonder about what our relationship is dedicated to, but this important step makes all the difference in how things will proceed. For many a relationship is a shelter to hide from the world in. For others it is a delicious meal, there to fill them up and make them happy.  When they become tired of the food, or can no longer digest it, the relationship ends. There are those who seek relationships in order to feel valuable, for status, position, or a role to play in life. Inherent in the way you see your relationships is the difficulty you will encounter, and the road it will take.  However, there is another way to view and dedicate a relationship. We can dedicate it to growth,  aliveness, kindness, the ability to let go of our defensiveness, to give and receive  connection and ultimately experience the exquisite  taste of the true love and Oneness we all are.

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One of the cornerstones of all relationships is the giving and receiving of support. For many this becomes complicated as they feel the happiness of another is dependent upon them. They must guide or control another. Many stop focusing upon their own lives, believing  it's their job to  take away another's suffering.  This kind of relationship is often based upon sharing mutual suffering, leaning on one another, and it only makes  the suffering more intense.  All of these modes of being are based upon misunderstanding, and the support received in that way,  often weakens and depletes both parties. 
 In Zen Practice, there is Unwavering Support available, but it comes to us and others on a different basis. As we sit together in the silence, focusing upon our breath, not moving, not speaking and not interfering with the pain of another,  enormous support arises for all. This support arises from a different level of our being.  That part allows all things to come into our experience and then to leave.  As we sit through whatever arises, not only do we become strong and make room for the pain to dissolve, we lend our presence, strength  and support to others as well. 

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When we look deeply at Zen it is easy to see that truly, it is  truly the practice of love. The practice of nurturing out lives and the lives of all we meet  It may seem odd to think that love is a practice! Most think of it as a spontaneous arising of the heart, something that comes out of the blue. While that may be so, it is also important to prepare the soil of our lives for this great gift to flourish, for the flower of love to bloom.  As we plant the seeds of love in a ripe soil that has been well prepared, and make sure to weed the garden, we are actually practicing love.  Seeds tossed into a soil that is unprepared will not grow.  Or, a plant, tree or love relationship that is starting to blossom may be cut short or even strangled by weeds that have not been pulled out.  The practice of love assures us that we are providing favorable conditions that allow the best within ourselves and others to bloom naturally. Come listen to the podcast and discover more.

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We all want love and then when we find it can become enormously thrilled. Things may be wonderful, perfect for a while. We are caught in the delicious excitement of finding love. But after awhile, inevitably that excitement fades. And the sense of having found what we've always been searching for may disappear as well. The question then often rises, "What happened? Where did the love go?" The answer may be surprising, too. Because the love didn't go anywhere. Real love can't, it's everywhere, always. Excitement, thrills, fantasies are something else, but not real love. All distress or upset in relationships only come because we don't know what real love is or how to access that beautiful state of being that totally fills us up. It's not hard, though. It's ever available. To start we must know what the real thing is and how to Give It, in all our relationships, no one left out. Come listen to the podcast to discover more.

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