Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life

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Most of us think  that we have to sort out what's valuable and what isn't.  If something doesn't meet our needs or standards, we often toss it away, labelling it as waste, or garbage. We do this with all kinds of things, including people and relationships. But Zen practice teaches there is no such thing as garbage. Everything has value and can be received as nourishment.  Left over food can be wonderful in soup, a wilted vegetable can provide for the soil. Difficulty in relationships can help us grow in so many ways. When we view difficult people and situations as nourishing, rather than toxic, everything turns around. Not only do people respond to the way in which we see them, but the rough experiences we can turn into jewels. Our view is expanded, our heart opened, and  we do not live in dread or anger,, which constricts every part of our life. It is a great art to learn how to digest and absorb all of our experience, so that nothing is tossed away or goes to waste.

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Most of us use our relationships to feel good, safe, wanted, valued. We choose the people we want to interact with and eliminate anyone who is challenging or upsetting. Basically the illusion is that this will keep us happy and strong. Actually, the opposite is true. We are missing an amazing opportunity to expand, grow and get to know not only others, but to really know ourselves.   We do not see that relationships are truly a mirror in which we see ourselves. When interacting with others,  the happiness and well being we feel comes not from who they are necessarily, but from the way we respond to them, how we perceive them, the room we give them to be who they are. Our growth arises from how open hearted we can be. Can we give everyone a chance to reveal themselves, not take it personally, but offer an open, welcoming heart to what they truly need to say or request? Come listen to the podcast and learn more.

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No matter how much we practice, once we get up from the cushion, or any other practice we do, we encounter one person after another, one relationship after the next. Some are affirming and joyous, others may cause upset or difficulty.  All of these relationships are simply extensions of our practice. Each person we meet, whoever they are, is our teacher in what it means to love. Not only are they our teacher, these encounters, are here to show us the truth about what love really is.  Naturally, when we are in pain or upset, we automatically blame on the other, find something wrong with them. But as we view relationships as spiritual practice, we soon realize that no one can hurt us, it is our responses to them, our perceptions and expectations of them that are causing the pain. Come listen to the podcast and find out more. 

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Zen practice helps us dissolve many illusion that grip us.  We learn how to stay present to what's happening, see what's right here,  appreciate each moment, and to take our clarity and new perspective into our everyday life. In the same way, as we practice in life, and in our relationships we can discover the many ways in which we are gripped by Counterfeit Love.
Most people feel relationships are tricky, painful and  even dangerous. But when the practice of Zen is applied to relationships, we joyously discover, that it is never love that is causing the difficulty, it is only that we've been caught in more illusions, posing as Counterfeit Love. This podcast begins to explore ways to dissolve the upset on the spot, with clarity, awareness and by practicing the simple laws of real love.

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We all think relationships are difficult, difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. But the true heart of Zen practice says something different.  Zen points to the fact that we are in relationships continually,  and that everyone we meet is our teacher, in  what it really means to love. And our teacher  how to thoroughly appreciate this life we are living now. No matter what is going on.
Sadly, most of us suffer in relationships, reacting to what happens automatically, rather than responding from  the truth of who we truly are,  and what is really beneficial.  Zen practice provides a new, fresh perspective,  a new way of greeting each moment. When we bring this freshness into our relationships, we see that suffering is unnecessary.  Love is always just a breath away and that we have just been viewing things amiss, 

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We all long for things to be different, fresh, alive, brand new. But to make the New Year  new, we have to be new! The days roll on as they do, but they can become fresh, alive and meaningful, no matter what's going on. It all depends upon the way, we view things, how we respond, who we are. As we become able to look through new eyes, what we see becomes new. When we look through our same old filters, notions and limitations, nothing changes and a sense of helplessness goes on and on. Zen practice comes to tell us that we are not helpless.  Fundamentally,  all of us are strong, beautiful, clear and filled with joy. Our confusion about who we are, and what is important hides this from us. This practice adds nothing to us, rather, it takes away the cobwebs, illusions and conditioning  that have distorted and confused our lives. The more the cobwebs are removed, the more natural it becomes to "Taste and See that Life is Good." Very good. Delicious! 

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As the New Year approaches we naturally look over the year gone by. In the process, we accept some aspects of it, reject others, long to change certain things that happened or do them over again. There is a sense that the year was not complete, perhaps a feeling of remorse or guilt at what has transpired. Yet, a fundamental  symbol in Zen Practice is One Complete Circle. This circle encompasses all of our experience with nothing left out. It has no beginning or ending, as one moment naturally flows into the next. This One Complete Circle teaches us that our year, or day, or relationship is complete, (or fulfilled), as it is. We do not have to return again and again to the same moment in the hope of reliving it.  Without that one moment as it was, the next could not take place.. Each moment brings growth and discovery, as does each year, no matter how it turned out. In order to be ready for a truly New Year, we must allow the year that has passed to be complete, and fulfilled.  Give thanks for it as it was. Then the year that is approaching will have room for  beautiful changes and love.

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Much of the time life does not go as we've planned for, and we become distressed. If events don't go according to our liking or according to our expectation we feel something is wrong - either with the events or with ourselves. But life happens as it has to, and when we accept, enjoy and even celebrate each moment, as it is, we will often find unexpected discoveries.  Although it may not be apparent at first, any moment can bring surprises, gifts, and new possibilities we had no idea of. A plant I received seemed to be ordinary, and was placed casually on a small table. I loved it right away though, and brought it to join me at the kitchen table for meals. Within a couple of days the plant sprouted, grew a few feet and then it suddenly bloomed. From out of nowhere, huge red blossoms kept bursting through. The joy of the blossoms filled my heart day by day by day. Open your eyes wide, love what you're given and allow  the blossoming to go on and on.

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During this holiday so many are running in all kinds of directions, no knowing what to do next. As we check off one activity after another, make one plan after the next, our heads are often spinning. Am I getting the right gift? Am I doing the right thing? It does seem as if the world lies on our shoulders, and we dare not make a mistake. 
This attitude itself robs our joy from us and sends us off into confusion.  Not only that, it is not true that the world rests on our shoulders. Far from it.  When we step back and look from a larger perspective, it is easy to see that there is endless guidance and harmony just waiting to be recognized all around. We are not in charge of all that happens, are just playing  our part in the symphony performed by a massive  orchestra.  Stop a  moment and  look to see who the composer of the music  is and who is conducting the  orchestra.

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So many of us are looking over the year gone by, going over our goals and actions. Sadly, many conclude that they are failures. They haven't performed as they might have wished, haven't been able to control things. This malady of constantly judging ourselves, our lives and others to see if we have failed or succeeded, is not a part of true Zen Practice.  Constantly looking to see if we have failed or succeeded  robs us of joy,. It curtails our curiosity and often ruins an otherwise beautiful day. However, when we sit on the cushion in zazen, whatever arises is just right. We're not in charge of what comes or what goes.  Our role is to be there, without running away, available to see  and even welcome the constantly changing  flow of life. Many sittings are rough, many are beautiful, we simply experience them all. Over time the way we relate to our experience alters. We stop making it all about ourselves, or judging each moment. We  are then  able to enter the flow of life, of which we are an integral part. As that happens, despite the nature of the waves that approach us, we enjoy them all. And,  there is no judging one wave a failure and another a success.

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