Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life

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In their relationships, many  want to be both close and free at the same time. They crave the connection and intimacy but at the same time need freedom. We all need to grow, change, express ourselves and be who we are. The art of balancing freedom and closeness  is what makes relationships fulfilling and also challenging at the same time. That is why relationhships are an amazing spiritual practice. This practices  forces us to understand that the true nature of freedom and independence is not going to hurt anyone. It doesn't ignore the feelings and rights of others.  In fact when we are free to be true to ourselves, it is only then that we can truly be a real friend. It is then that we can feel safe with others, able to know them, enjoy them, and grow together along our journey. The secret of finding freedom in relationships  becomes clear as we find the freedom to express, honor and respect ourselves without fear of others reactions, and loss.

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It's so easy for relationships to erupt into all kinds of conflicts, upset and disappointment. One minute we're feeling fine, the next moment, we're triggered. Rather than handle upset after it's happened,  go through all kinds of regret and remorse, there are wonderful ways of preventing conflict and misunderstanding from happening in the first place.  These different guidellines are from Value Centered Relationships, based on eternal truths from all world scriptures.  By stopping and bowing to the other (in our mind) before we interact, we take charge of the atmosphere between us, and also our state of mind.  In that moment we are looking at the other through a different set of eyes, bowing to that which is worthy and beautiful in them, rather than looking to win a battle of some kind.

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Zen Relationships are simple, easy and full of life. There's no place to stop or hesitate, no turning the clock backwards to become complete. This moment before us contains all possibilities for starting new, being complete and experiencing the love we long for.  Most relationships are filled with memories of past failures, old hopes, demands and dreams. In Zen Relationships/ Value Centered Relationships, the past is not discarded, but  transformed into fertilizer for something brand new.  We actually become thankful for the past and this thankfulness is a wonderful bridge to happiness. Nothing outside ourselves need to changed. With a simple change of perspective, a re-direction of our focus, all we have ever wanted becomes available.

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We all have the misconception that we are in charge of our day. We make to do lists, focus on goals and walk around with endless expectations. When things don't go our way, we become upset, declare ourselves a failure, or demand that the person we're with change. What a missed opportunity for relaxation, happy surprises and fun. Not only in our relationships but with everything that takes place. When the realization arises, that despite all our plans and insistence, a greater intelligence is partnering with us, making the arrangements, bringing some people together and others apart, everything changes. Wee can take a huge weight off our shoulders and enjoy the moments as they arise. We are letting life live, letting ourselves and our relationships breathe. By offering that kind of space and respect, we make the way for wonderful things to happen, way beyond what we can have ever planned.  It may not be up to us to make everything happen as we imagine, but it is always within our power to allow the day to go as it does.
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So much of our life and relationships get caught in dramatic thunderstorms, where we fight loudly, demanding that our rights and needs be met. The more we struggle, the louder we fight, the more the thunderstorms rages and the less we receive what we truly want. Caught in the whirl of anger and disappointment, hope dims, love fades and, swept up on the shore by the storm, we can feel alone. The startling truth, however, is that all of this can change in a moment. We need not be captive to the storm.  The way we've been going about things has been based upon deep misunderstanding about who we are, what we truly need, and how to receive it in a moment. There are simple, infallible actions we can take based upon timeless truths, that will still the storm quickly, and allow us to step onto firm ground.

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We are in the midst of the clamor of different voice beings raised and all kinds of confusing information being released.  it's easy to get lost in the whirl, not knowing what to listen to, who to believe or what to  do next. The voices within and without are persistent, noisy and actually distort what is truly taking place, and where to go from here.  
However, when we learn how to quiet those voice,  turn down the dial ,and allow the simplicity of life and the silence to arise, our direction  becomes simple and clear.  And we can then truly hear those we encounter,  and be heard. Our steps become firm and guided by a deeper knowingness within. This is available to all. And the process is natural and life giving. Come join us and find out more.

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Many of us spend our time disappointed, in each other, in the day, and in the outcome of our efforts. Our focus is on what we want and expect,  how it's going and when we will receive our just rewards. This focus is so  limited that we do not see or experience even a fraction of what's going on. We never taste all the wonderful gifts that are being given moment after moment, all day long. Instead, we take everything for granted, not stopping to really feel and experience what is there. 

 However, when we take even a little while to let go of the endless mental chatter and personal demands and become open and silent, another world presents itself to us. That world is both within and without, and in it wait all that we have ever dreamed of. Come listen and find out more.

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Most of us repeat the same old pattern in relationships again and again. We react automatically to whatever happens, based upon our expectations and conditioning. This puts us on a merry go round that keeps spinning and it seems that there is no way off. But there is. The way is simple, enjoyable, healthy and incredibly life giving. Value Centered Relationships bases all relationships on Timeless Principles from all World Scriptures that cannot fail. They form the perfect pillars for building a foundation in your relationship that can weather any storm. And keep you grounded, happy and able to love and to grow.

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Believe it or not, there was an amazing teacher in India called the Jillalemudi Mother, and when asked who she was replied, "I am the Mother Who Cannot Be Wounded." A friend lived at her ashram for several years. No matter what was done or said to her, she only responded with love. Couldn't be otherwise. Some say she was born in that condition.  As years went by and people heard about her they came in droves. She fed all who came, made sure no one went away hungry.  Her very appearance was and is an invitation to another way of being and living. This does not mean to compare ourselves t her, or imitate her, but to see that what is possible for us as human beings is much vaster and more beautiful than we could have ever thought.

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So often we search for meaning, connection or fulfillment in our relationships. We may do all the right things, find the "right" people, spend quality time together and yet a sense of "meaning or fullness" eludes us. We try to figure out why this is happening, not realizing that "meaning or fulfillness" is not a commodity, not something we can order up like a good meal. It is not found logically, but is alive.  As Martin Buber says, "meaning happens" between us when we are truly present, available, and real. When we are not focused upon ourselves and personal needs, the beauty and magic of our connection happens all by itself.

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