Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life

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Most of the time we cling tightly to whatever we have, and consider the clinging to be love. But clinging leads to sorrow. Attachment leads to grasping and fear and is not healthy.  Also, attachment is not what any of us truly want. We all want freedom in life and in our relationships. The freedom to be who we are, to be loved for ourselves, the freedom be known, and to be real with others.  This kind of freedom grows and prospers in an atmosphere of compassion, not clinging.  Compassion arises from another part of oneself. It is the doorway to true caring and happiness. Attachment is concerned with  our own needs,  not losing what we have. Compassion is concerned with the other, what we can give. Let us explore the road to compassion and find joy in our every step.

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Zen practice is actually the opposite of many practices.  Here, we stop seeking anything and develop the ability to  be with everything just as it is. And relish it.
In most practices and in our life itself, we are constantly seeking something else. When we find what we like we cling tight, but of course, as each moment is different, and nothing can be repeated exactly as it was.  This constant change can bring a sense of insecurity or it can bring the awareness of infinite possibilities.  We can discover all we need is always right here.
Zen practice guides us to fully embrace each moment, as it arises and as it passes on. This is such a wonderful practice for relationships, where we want everything to be a certain way,  and turn away when people change. However, when we realize that each moment is full and complete, change does not make us insecure. We can welcome and allow each person to be as they are, knowing that the next moment will be different, fresh and new.  Then our lives and relationships are constantly renewed as we receive them that way.

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We're right in the midst of the holiday season, offering thanks, giving gifts. But rather than being only joyous, this time of year can become fraught with anxiety. These kinds of questions accost us. Did I give enough? Are they pleased with me and my gift? What will I receive in return? Many feel drained and exhausted by all the demands they feel are upon them now. All of this only comes because we are not aware of what True Giving is. Instead we are caught in "transaction", the rule of the marketplace. You give me this, and I'll give you that. Or, my value depends upon others liking and appreciating what I give. This podcast explores the reality of True Giving, which is easy, natural, fun and has no negative consequences of any kind. Come join us in this exploration, and give what is truly fulfilling to both others and yourself.

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So often we become hurt in our relationships and have no idea why. When something seems sweet and enticing, we feel it is good for us, and beneficial.  When we have happy feelings or think our needs are being met we feel that all is going well. Then, when things change, great disappointment, resentment and confusion can be stirred up. That is because we do not know the difference between poison and medicine. We do not know the difference between Real and Counterfeit Love. Counterfeit love is based upon myths and illusions, which must always fail to stand the test of time. Real love is different. It is not based upon feelings. It is the ground we can always stand on, and be strong,  content and beneficial to all. Let's start the wonderful adventure of exploring the difference between these two and starting to walk along a new road. The Unshakeable Road to Love.

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When we practice Zen principles and actually live them in our relationships what we are doing is building a foundation for love. These principles do not only belong to Zen, but are part of all the world's scriptures. They are laws, like  the laws of gravity, and when understood and taken to heart,  all our encounters become beneficial and heart warming. It is extremely important that these true principles be recognized, and that we become able to know the difference between Real and Counterfeit Love.
Then we can understand what it is that really causes conflict and upset and how to stop it on the spot.  This episode opens a new door to our understanding of  how to practice Zen in our Everyday Lives. It includes specific actions, exercises and interventions which show how to live these truths, day by day with everyone we meet.

The Podcast Is Based upon my new book, The Unshakeable Road To Love (Value Centered Relationships)..  www.totalrelationshipsnow.com

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We are all longing for the right relationship, one where we feel loved, safe and understood. However, despite how much we try to make that happen, it is very common for disappointment and conflict to arise.  Some feel that suffering is inevitable in relationships and an Unshakeable love cannot be found. That is because we are not building our relationships on a foundation which is strong and solid and cannot fail. As we walk on the Unshakeable Road to love, however, we are taking a radically different approach.  We no longer approach one another in the same way, but enter a completely new perspective about where true happiness lay. For example, one of the Pillars of Love we encounter is that, To Be Happy You Do Not Have To Be Loved, You Have To Learn What It Means To Be Loving.  So many surprises are waiting for us when we do.  Find Out More on www.totalrelationshipsnow.com

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We believe that each day is like another and that we return to the same situation again and again. Some feel stuck by this, others feel there are endless chances to do what is needed. What we do not realize is that this day, this step, this moment will not come again. When we are not aware of what is going on right now, not present to the moment, everything seems the same. When we live in our ideas, dreams and fantasies, we do not even taste our precious life. In truth each moment, each breath, step and  person we encounter is always brand new. They can't be the same as they were even a moment ago. It is only our dreamy foggy  state of mind that refuses to recognize the ever flowing stream we live in that constantly refreshes, renews, and provides endless possibilities for aliveness.

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There are so many voices, sounds, and noises that confront us hour by hour, day by day.  They easily becoming disturbing, confusing and contradict one another. Rather than understanding, confusion and upset appears.  We deeply want to get the meaning, but the message eludes us. Beneath all the noises, we do not hear the harmony, the truth of all we are hearing,  the song of the Universe.  As we sit in silence, and learn to truly listen, without interference or withdrawal,  the real voice can be heard,   We hear the true message  of the Universe and the beauty of the song it is singing.  Confusion vanishes by itself and we can then clearly respond. 

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Real meetings are magical. They happen spontaneously when we least expect it. As we let go of our usual routines, expectations and that which we depend upon, an opening can happen for a real meeting to take place.  The Hut can be anywhere,  a place that is not bound or guarded by heavy walls, and patterns. In many spiritual traditions those who practice, leave their usual place of abode and go to a hut of one kind or another where it's easy to see that life changes in a moment, is fragile,  and our usual attachments are taken away. Then each moment becomes precious on its own and each visitors is welcomed with a full heart. Sitting in the hut together, not clinging to anything, the ceiling open to see the sky, the meeting that takes place between us is filled with the infinite. 

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In Zen practice, every moment counts, every detail of our life calls for  attention. A famous Zen saying says, "Messy shoes, messy mind." This guides us not to throw things around, helter skelter, but to be aware of how things have served us, and where they belong.  Therefore the instruction, pick your coat up from the floor and put it where it belongs. Such a simple action with far ranging effects. Don't throw something away after you've used it. Place it where it needs to be, for its sake and for yours. When our lives are filled with careful order and attention,  harmony enters our world. This instruction not only applies not only to our coats and shoes, but to those we meet in our lives as well. If someone needs to be lifted up, do not hesitate to do so. Do not throw others or relationships around. Don't use them when needed and then throw to the floor. One simple careful Zen instruction like this, followed thoroughly impacts our entire lives. The simpler the instruction the better, the further it reaches all.

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