WOULD YOU RATHER: Take a boat tour down a heavily polluted river OR hike a trail in a nature preserve filled with rabid animals?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have to cover The Gathering of the Juggalos for a national publication OR have a table in the artist alley of a furry convention and get paid to do commissions?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a laugh track for your life but it always goes off at inappropriate times OR have everything you say featuring Lil Jon?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Take a vacation to Amity Island and have to fix their shark attack problem OR live your normal life but every encounter with a body water no matter how small has a 5% chance of containing a hungry shark?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Live in a small coastal town where supernatural murder that involves the entire town happens OR a small town in the middle of the desert besieged by crime where you are the sheriff?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have lights embedded in your skin OR Have the ability to secrete a substance into people when you touch them?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be gifted a hypoallergenic cat that never sheds, but unfortunately it is 80 lb. and only wants to cuddle in your lap every day OR be gifted with x-ray vision but you everyone is naked all the time and you can’t turn it off?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be a Smurf, but never be able to understand what the different uses of the word “Smurf” means OR have every food you bite into filled with something unexpected?

To mix things up, this episode features a barrage of questions from Would You Rather Bot. It goes about as well as you would expect.

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a conspiracy theory cat or a Spanish-speaking dog?