Zone-casts: I'd Rather Not

You lost something very important and you need to find it immediately. As you search for it, WOULD YOU RATHER: Only be able to get clues through David Lynch-like nightmares OR have your life becomes the Dreamcast game Shenmue?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Obsessively build a collection of something but no matter what you’ll always be missing the last piece OR have every single door you encounter slam in your face before you’re allowed to enter and you never get used to it?

After a freak accident you have been given the powers of a sex god. You are the ultimate lady’s/man’s man capable of turning anyone on with little effort. WOULD YOU RATHER: Spend the rest of your life being personally unable to be aroused unless engaged in elaborate erotic cartoon character cosplay OR have every orgasm…

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WOULD YOU RATHER: Become the world’s most famous astronaut and captain the crew of a scouting mission to an alien planet but you find out about ten years later that you’ve been the star of a “Truman Show” reality show and it was all fake OR actually be abducted by friendly aliens and learn their…

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WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a cartoon jump out of the TV and be an actual person in the real world and hang out with you OR go into the TV and live in a world of toons of your choice?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Only be able to eat food from the Applebee’s in Brooklyn OR get attacked by Jon Stewart with a steel chair daily when you least expect it?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a free permanent fastpass that allows you to skip any line you encounter but every time you use it you slightly increase your risk of contracting an unknown deadly disease OR never have to wait in any line for longer than 30 seconds any time you encounter one but for each…

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WOULD YOU RATHER be an Uber driver in a car full of sweaty people on their way home from the gym on a hot day in heavy traffic OR any and all shadows will look like terrifying monsters when looking at them from the corner of your eye?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be a teacher where every year a half of your class gets left back and you have to teach them all over again OR be obligated to sacrifice your smartest student to the I’d Rather Not gods?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a guaranteed middle-level position in a county office that is a bureaucratic nightmare and you will never accomplish anything OR be guaranteed a two-term presidency with a cooperative Congress but one the day your first term begins America makes contact with a war-like alien nation?