One fine morning when I was in my mid-twenties, I woke up and the life I had previously led was over. I was consumed by a longing to be truly intimate with God, the one truth.

This great longing grew daily, and it first manifested as being aware of the unseen in nature. Nature invited me into itself, and I found myself taking very long solo trips deep into the wilderness of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. This naturally led to a resonance with Native traditions, and before long I met my first teacher, a highly-respected Lakota medicine man who was very committed to upholding the Old Way. With this association, the intimate awareness of spirit deepened.

I met my master, Mata Amritanandamayi, in 1993. There was an immediate recognition that I needed to spend as much time as possible in her presence, so I spent most of the next nine years in her ashram in India. This was a period of intense de-conditioning where so much was exposed. Amma knew my longing for truth, and consequently pushed me quite hard, so that a natural, authentic surrender and love was all I knew.

It is said in the scriptures that love leads to knowledge (Bhakti to Jnana), and knowledge leads to love. That they are two sides of the same coin-not separate. There arose in me a natural resonance with self-inquiry, and with Amma’s blessing I spent two years a Ramana Maharshi’s ashram in Tiruvannamalai. Then one day I knew I was done with India, and returned to the west.

When I returned, I had nothing to hold on to. No family, home, money, job, car, or health. The body was quite weak and tired, and the old way of striving couldn’t survive. Surrender naturally deepened, and it was at this time that the personal self really lost its hold.

In 2004, Pamela Wilson invited me to share my experience with others. After talking to Amma about it and receiving instruction from her, I felt an overflowing and a readiness to share. In recent years, Adyashanti has been and continues to be an invaluable guide and a support in this unfoldment and recognition of what’s true. He has my deepest gratitude.

My heart bows down to all of my teachers and friends who make up the fullness of this life, and no words can describe how this heart bows to Amma.

Joi's site

Books:

Embodying the Infinite and the Dissolution of the Separate self: Stories, Transmissions and Ancient Vedic Knowledge for the Complete Liberation of Source Consciousness

Unpredictable Grace: My Adventure Recovering from Chronic Pain through Neuroscience and Quantum Mechanics

Summary and transcript of this interview

Interview recorded 7/2/2011.

Second BatGap interview with Joi

YouTube Video Chapters:

00:00:00 - The Spiritual Awakening in Tahoe City

00:04:42 - A Total Inside Job

00:09:08 - The Power of Presence in Nature

00:13:47 - Spontaneous Prayer and Connection with Nature

00:18:37 - A Journey of Healing and Transformation

00:22:39 - Powerful Experiences and Native American Wisdom

00:26:32 - Surrender to the Divine Feminine

00:30:55 - Exploring Eastern Philosophy and Emotional Release Techniques

00:34:26 - Various Jobs and Meeting Amma

00:37:59 - A Moment with Shri Swami

00:42:16 - Claimed by Amma

00:46:04 - Receiving the Silent Transmission

00:50:37 - Seven Years of Restlessness

00:54:14 - Experiencing Total Oneness

00:58:04 - The Divine Intelligence within Amma

01:01:43 - A Spontaneous Invitation to Ramana Maharshi's Ashram

01:05:55 - Going deeper into the inquiry

01:09:24 - The Power of Being Seen

01:13:09 - The Other Side of the Coin

01:16:48 - A Silent Recognition of Presence

01:20:17 - The Depth of Presence and Clarity of Understanding

01:24:47 - Faint Remains of Ignorance and the Instrumentality of the Physical World

01:29:07 - Experiencing Grace and Presence Everywhere

01:33:18 - Letting Go of the Known

01:37:37 - Letting Go of the Need to Know

01:42:13 - Filling up the Space

01:46:16 - The Beauty of Living Fully

01:50:10 - The Danger of Identifying with Awakening

01:54:23 - The Different Approaches to Awakening

01:57:56 - Wrapping Up the Conversation

02:01:07 - Farewell and Next Time