1 Minute Political Update

By tapping two of the most unqualified Americans to be Secretary of Health and Human Services (Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.) and U.S. Attorney General (Matt Gaetz), Donald Trump turns MAGA into MAGATTA Make America Grind All Their Teeth Again).

Donald Trump takes another detour from reality by daydreaming about Al Capone sleeping on a MyPillow while Kamala Harris tells a crowd in Michigan that she will suffocate the Trump campaign with HerPillow on Election Day.

Kamala Harris appears on “Saturday Night Live” to appeal to young men who think woke is a joke while Donald Trump says “Saturday Night Live” is a joke that no one stays a-woke for anymore. 

Donald Trump is tickled burnt orange after receiving a good luck call from Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orban while Kamala Harris calls the United Auto Workers to tell them: “Baby, you can drive my car.”

Donald Trump sits for an interview with Tucker Carlson who eschews fact-checking for fawning while Kamala Harris intercepts Bret Favre’s Hail Mary praise of Trump.

Donald Trump seeks to make hate while the sun shines in Wisconsin by campaigning from a cheesy garbage truck and Kamala Harris opens her “I’m-not-Joe-Biden” routine in Las Vegas.

Donald Trump boasts that his Madison Square Garden rally drew more people than live in New York City while Kamala Harris’s speech on the Ellipse was eclipsed by a Biden boo-boo.

Donald Trump spent a good part of his rally at Madison Square Garden dissing the island country of Puerto Rico while Kamala Harris was in Texas, talking about helping the middle class, keeping abortion legal, and deporting Trump to Puerto Rico.

After former chief of staff John Kelly revealed that Donald Trump said Adolf Hitler was A-OK in his book, Kamala Harris laced up her shiny jackboots and prepared to kick some fascistic butt.

Donald Trump fires the French fry fryer while working at McDonald’s for 30 minutes while Kamala Harris claims she owned and operated a McDonald’s restaurant when she was 8 years old.