1 Minute Political Update

19 days until armageddon!: Donald Trump trades in his trademark rally speech for tap shoes while Kamala Harris goes on Fox News and breaks into an un-patriotic rendition of “Stars and Stripes,” called “Spars and Strikes.”

Kamala Harris releases her medical report and it’s 100% joy while Donald Trump says he doesn’t need to release his because he’s fat as a fiddle.

Donald Trump talked to Putin several times after leaving office but refused to talk to “60 Minutes.” However, Kamala Harris did sit down for an interview and managed to dodge more questions than Trump has dodged bullets.

Trump returned to Butler, PA where he got shot in the ear and gives his adoring fans an earful about Kamala Harris, who went on a podcast called “Call Her Daddy” to promote her socialist agenda that promotes stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.

At a rally in Michigan, Donald Trump blamed Hurricane Helene on Democrats while Kamala Harris shared the stage with Liz Cheney in Wisconsin where they expressed their belief that no one was cheesier than the former president.

JD Vance blames illegal immigrants for debate moderators who fact-check while Tim Walz sends a message that election deniers will not be treated with kid gloves but rather boxing gloves.

Donald Trump claims the U.S. is being overrun by illegal immigrants via a phone app created by Kamala Harris. She, in turn, is creating a real app to help legal immigrants overrun Mar-a-Lago.

With 40 days left until Armageddon (aka Election Day), Donald Trump boasts that only he can protect women. Upon hearing the news, Kamala Harris takes time out from campaigning to projectile vomit.

With 43 days left until Armageddon (aka Election Day), Donald Trump brags that he’s not prejudiced against Black Nazis while Kamala Harris reveals to Oprah the shocking news that she was raised in a middle-class household.

Trump rails against the would-be shooter at his golf course and Kamala Harris puts Elon Musk in his place.