Self Directed

112: Iris Chen | Untigering: From Control to Connection – Peaceful Parenting for the Tiger Parent


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Iris Chen, author of Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent, shares how she shifted from a strict, high-expectation parenting style to a trust-based approach.

Raised in a Chinese-American household, Iris grew up with academic pressure and obedience as the norm. She carried those expectations into her own parenting—until she saw how control and punishment were harming her relationship with her children. A parenting workshop on neuroscience led her to rethink discipline, ultimately guiding her toward unschooling.

This conversation looks at how tiger parenting is often rooted in intergenerational trauma, especially in immigrant communities where educational success is tied to security and acceptance. Instead of accepting these methods as “cultural,” Iris encourages parents to examine their origins and whether they truly serve their children today.

📚 Learn more about Iris Chen and Untigering

  • https://untigering.com
  • https://www.instagram.com/untigering 
  • https://www.facebook.com/untigering 
  • https://x.com/untigering
  • https://www.facebook.com/irischenauthor 

🗓️ Recorded March 17th, 2025. 📍 Barcelona, Spain

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Self DirectedBy Cecilie & Jesper Conrad

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