Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

122. Potential vs. Reality: What's Your Relationship Status?


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Oftentimes, navigating less-than-healthy relationships can be helped by asking yourself two crucial questions—am I in a relationship with the other person’s potential or with who they truly are? And the follow-up question: how do I know when it's time to make a change?

To position ourselves for good decision-making, we must first balance our logic and emotions so that we can approach these questions in a thoughtful way. Rarely can the head or the heart ­alone provide a complete answer—the truth will live somewhere in between.

There is so much to consider when assessing the potential vs. reality question. We must recognize that the emotion of fear can prevent us from honestly evaluating our relationships. We have to accept that change only occurs when someone decides to change—and that change is usually iterative with mistakes or setbacks likely to occur. It can be a long, frustrating process. So we must determine the true value of our investment in the relationship. If you’re like most people I talk with, you will want to do everything you can to make the relationship work.

In the end, though, you must center your needs and your health. You’re the only one who can decide the best next steps. But I hope this discussion helps you approach the idea of potential vs. reality in a way that enables you to do what is best for you.

If you’re having trouble thinking through the contours of a difficult relationship, I recommend journaling. For me and many others, journaling has been a game-changing tool. Just grab a pen and put your thoughts on paper. You might be amazed by how much it helps. But, if you continue to struggle—if the words and thoughts are still jumbled up inside you—consider getting a copy of the Treasured Journal. The Treasured Journal includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems that will help you open up so that you can make sense of what you’re feeling. You can get the journal and its companion meditation guide at this link:

THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions, comments, or experiences you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. 

Thank you for listening!

CONNECT WITH DANIELLE 

Website: danielleireland.com 

Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW

Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

 

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Don't Cut Your Own BangsBy Danielle Ireland

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