Hello, hello! In this week's "Best Lessons of the Year" recap, we're diving into two surprisingly connected themes:

1. How easy it is to lose ourselves in conflict
2. How possible it is to find ourselves in nature

We start with a clip from my solo cast, Winning Isn't Everything, where I break down what really happens when our nervous system floods and suddenly our partner becomes… the enemy. (Yes, even if 10 minutes ago they were our favorite person.)

Then we shift into wide-open wonder with adventurer and wildlife guide Eli Martinez, who reminds us that reconnecting with the natural world isn't just "nice" — it's an actual portal back to intuition, presence, and our truest selves.

"Stepping out of win-lose dynamics isn't weakness. It's wisdom."

"When we stop fighting for control, we start listening — and that's when we find our way back to ourselves."

"Wonder cracks us open in ways certainty never can."

• Winning in conflict often means both people lose. We aren't built for battles in our closest relationships.

• Curiosity is a superpower — in conversation, in conflict, in connection.

• Nature resets the nervous system. Watching a sunset can be more therapeutic than a dozen self-help books.

• Adventure and intimacy feel the same in the body. Fear + excitement + vulnerability = transformation.

• The real lesson? Learning to trust yourself is a practice, not a one-time achievement.

• Exploring the Wild with Eli Martinez https://youtu.be/nLyXdWeEKI4

• Winning Isn't Everything https://youtu.be/VHc_kt3yQ3U

If this episode sparked something in you — a whisper, a nudge, a little "Oof… that's for me" — please rate, review, and subscribe. It helps the show grow and helps conversations like this reach people who need them.

Podcast: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

Community: Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

Books & Journals: Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

Website: https://danielleireland.com/

Welcome back to The Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Countdown: Best Lessons of the Year — your cozy December rewind of the conversations that cracked me open, cracked me up, or came back to whisper, "Hey… you needed to hear that again."

This week we're celebrating two big themes we ALL lived through this year: 1. Learning in real time (aka: The Messy Middle) 2. The courage to say a brave, wholehearted "No"

You'll hear moments from my solo cast on "Tech Sweats" (yes, the kind where you curse at software and question your entire identity), plus one of my favorite conversations of the year with CityMom founder Janine Bobmeyer. Her story of burnout, truth-telling, and redefining success is one of those episodes you feel in your chest.

A few moments you'll hear: • "Learning is rarely graceful. It's… sweaty." • "A 'no' spoken from truth is always a 'yes' to something better." • "Being in the middle of a mess doesn't mean you're doing it wrong — it just means you're in the middle."

If you want the full episodes these clips came from, you can watch them here: • Full Jeanine Interview • Full Solo Cast: What It Feels Like to Learn in Real Time

Please rate, subscribe, and leave a comment — it truly helps grow our community and connects these conversations with people like you :)

Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

Community: Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

For purchase: The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

Free Gift for You: https://danielleireland.com/free

Welcome to The Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Countdown: Best Lessons of the Year — a special December series celebrating the moments, conversations, and insights that stayed with us long after the episodes ended.

This week's theme: Frustration… and Magic.

We're kicking things off with highlights from my solocast What Is Your Frustration Telling You? — an episode where we explored frustration not as a problem, but as information. As a whisper. As guidance disguised as discomfort.

A favorite moment from the solocast:

"Your emotions aren't roadblocks. They're signposts pointing to what matters most."

Then we shift into an unforgettable conversation with coach, speaker, and magician John Kippen, pulling some of the most moving and resonant moments from his story of resilience and healing.

✨ A favorite quote from John's interview:

"Magic didn't just save my life — it gave me a reason to keep choosing it."

This curated "Best Of" isn't linear — think of it like flipping through a scrapbook of the most meaningful moments from the year. If a clip resonates, you can always listen to the full episodes below.

Watch or listen to the full episodes anytime:

✨ What Is Your Frustration Telling You? (full solocast) Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

✨ John Kippen Interview – Magic Saved My Life Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

Please rate, subscribe, and leave a comment — it truly helps the grow our community and connects these conversations with people like you:)

Website: https://www.johnkippen.com Watch John's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/john_kippen_magic_saved_my_life

For the show:

Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

For community:

Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

For purchase:

The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

For FREE!

https://danielleireland.com/free

Welcome back to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs — the podcast that makes big feelings feel less scary and approaching them feel possible. Today I'm joined by someone who embodies ease and joy and wants to help you do the same - La Shell Wooten, and this conversation is one you're going to feel in the best way.

We dive into the messy middle — that "What the hell am I doing?" space we all land in sometimes — and explore how to stop ditching yourself when life gets overwhelming. Instead, we talk about how your emotions can become your emotional GPS system guiding you forward — toward ease, possibility, and joy that doesn't require heroic effort or a personality makeover.

• Why the messy middle is unavoidable (and often surprisingly useful)

• The difference between self-abandonment and self-trust

• Seeing emotions as information, not something to fear

• How to find "the next right thing" without forcing it

• The power of choosing joy — even when life is uncertain

• "Your emotions aren't obstacles — they're messengers."

• "You don't have to overhaul your life to invite joy in."

• "Sometimes clarity whispers before it ever shouts."

This episode is warm, funny, and deeply grounding — the perfect companion for your walk, your car ride, or your "I need a moment" moment.

💛 If this episode resonated, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps this community grow — and it truly means the world.

https://liinks.co/lashell.wooten

Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq?si=JyAzazfISPWyg6I11hAylg Podcast on Apple https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

This week on Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, I welcome back one of the most impactful guests in the show's history — Marianne Talkovski, emotional wellbeing strategist, acupuncturist, Chinese medicine practitioner, author, coach, and the creator of The Wellbeing Code.

Marianne has been one of the most trusted practitioners in my personal healing journey, and in this conversation she breaks down the deep connection between our emotions, our physical body, and how burnout and anxiety take root when we ignore what we feel.

Through her lens of Chinese medicine, emotional intelligence, and nervous-system regulation, Marianne helps us understand:

• Why regulating your nervous system is the first step to healing burnout

• How emotional suppression shows up in the body as symptoms, stagnation, and stress

• What the five Chinese elements reveal about your personality type and emotional patterns

• How to know the difference between striving from fear vs striving from wisdom

• Why travel, adventure, and stepping outside your "operating life" can spark profound clarity

• The four-part Wellbeing Code: Regulate, Rewire, Resync, Radiate

• Why belonging to yourself is the foundation for belonging anywhere else

One of my favorite quotes from the episode: "You can't outthink your emotions. Regulation has to happen before transformation."

Whether you're recovering from burnout, craving emotional clarity, or learning how to trust yourself again — this episode will gently guide you back home.

Website: https://mariannewellbeing.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marianne_talkovski Marianne's Books: https://mariannewellbeing.com/books

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1372599664 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2b7Ybj9RbM3c3Lh56N3D2G

Please rate, review, and subscribe — it helps the show reach more people who need this work. And as always, thank you for being here. You belong here.

Welcome back to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs — the podcast that makes big feelings feel less scary and approaching them feel possible.

In this week's episode, I sit down with Jessica Fein, author, storyteller, and self-described reluctant grief expert. Jessica's story is both heartbreaking and life-affirming. After losing her two sisters and her teenage daughter, Dalia, she discovered that the greatest act of love we can offer is to say the name and share the story.

Together, we explore how grief transforms us, how to stay connected to the people we've lost, and how storytelling can bring light to even the darkest seasons of life. This episode is an invitation to soften your heart toward your own pain and let love — not fear — lead the way.

1. Saying their name is sacred. It honors both memory and love.

2. Grief and joy can coexist. Healing isn't about "getting over it" — it's about learning to live alongside it.

3. Creativity helps us find joy again. Making something — a story, a meal, a moment — reconnects us to life.

4. Connection begins with honesty. You don't have to fix someone's pain to be present for it.

📖 Breathtaking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes → https://jessicafeinwrites.com/breathtaking

🎙 I Don't Know How You Do It → https://jessicafeinwrites.com/podcast

✍️ The Writer Salon → https://writers-salon.mn.co/

💌 Jessica's Survival Kit → https://jessicafeinwrites.com/resources

📘 The Treasured Journal: danielleireland.com/journal

🐧 Wrestling a Walrus: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

🌐 danielleireland.com 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube

If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who might need it today. Because love doesn't end when life does — and sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is say the name and tell the story.

Welcome to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs — the podcast that makes big feelings feel less scary and approaching them feel possible.

I'm Danielle Ireland, LCSW, and today's episode is your Stress Reset: Holiday Boundaries and Presence — your one-stop, low-stress recap of my five-part series Put Down the Panic: A Kinder Guide to Stress.

Think of this episode like a cozy audio love note — equal parts humor, heart, and a gentle nudge to slow down before the chaos of the season pulls you under.

I'm walking you through: - Why exhaustion isn't laziness (it's a signal, not a flaw). - What burnout really looks like — and how to catch it before it pulls you under. - The power of saying "no" kindly (and why that's a gift to everyone). - How to turn down the volume on stress when life gets too loud. - And why your body's signals are the wisest holiday planner you have.

Together we'll laugh, breathe deeper, and hopefully feel seen — because no, you're not the only one who's almost cried during family photos or used caffeine as a coping mechanism.

🎁 Resources Mentioned in the Episode: • The Treasured Journal — 7-part guided journal + meditations for self-reflection • Wrestling a Walrus — a children's book for little people with big feelings • Free Meditation Bundle — 3 calming tracks to ground you when things feel too heavy

If this episode helped you breathe a little easier, share it with a friend who's "powering through." And remember — the magic of the holidays isn't something you create; it's something you allow yourself to feel.

Connect with me: 📺 YouTube: @DontCutYourOwnBangs 🌐 Website: danielleireland.com 📸 Instagram: @DontCutYourOwnBangs

Welcome (back!) to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs — the podcast that makes big feelings feel less scary and approaching them feel possible. I'm Danielle Ireland, LCSW, and in this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Kate Lund — psychologist, TEDx speaker, and author of Step Away: A Modern Guide for Overwhelmed Parents to Reclaim Strength and Connection.

If you've been feeling burnt out, stretched thin, or overwhelmed by life, this conversation will help you find calm in the chaos. Dr. Kate shares her story — from growing up with a rare medical condition to parenting twins — and how those experiences shaped her understanding of resilience, context, and compassion. Together, we explore what it really takes to bounce back, not by pushing harder, but by slowing down and reconnecting with what matters most.

✨ In this episode, you'll learn:

• A 5-minute relaxation technique to instantly reduce overwhelm

• Why intentional living beats perfectionism when you're stretched thin

• How to build emotional resilience and model calm for your family

• Small daily habits that create space, peace, and perspective

Favorite Quotes:

• "Intentionality is the antidote to overwhelm."

• "Context is your lane — drive that road well."

• "Start the day modulated, not already maxed."

Because you deserve calm, clarity, and connection — without having to earn it.

🎧 Listen & Subscribe: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube

Learn more about Dr. Kate's work: Step Away: A Modern Guide for Overwhelmed Parents to Reclaim Strength and Connection The Optimized Mind Podcast by Dr. Kate Lund www.katelundspeaks.com

🌿 Connect with Danielle: 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs 🌐 Website: https://danielleireland.com/ 📖 The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw

Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

Subscribe for more gentle, therapy-informed conversations on stress, burnout recovery, and emotional wellness. 👉 Subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs and join the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community — because you deserve calm without having to earn it.

The holiday season is here, and with it comes an avalanche of invitations, requests, and expectations. Parties, bake sales, family gatherings, end-of-year deadlines—it's the season of "yes." And before I know it, my energy tank starts flashing empty.

In this final episode of Put Down the Panic: A Kinder Guide to Stress, I wanted to end on one of the most important themes of the entire series: boundaries—and how to say no kindly, clearly, and without guilt.

If the word no gets caught in your throat or you find yourself agreeing to things you never actually wanted to do, you're not alone. I've been there too. Saying no can feel like disappointing people or breaking some invisible rule about being "nice." But I've learned that boundaries aren't about rejection—they're about clarity. They're not a way of shutting people out; they're a way of keeping myself grounded and connected.

In this episode, I share why it's so hard to say no, what our early attachment patterns have to do with it, and how we can begin to change that story. Many of us—especially women —were conditioned to be accommodating, pleasing, and available. But constantly saying yes doesn't make us generous; it makes us exhausted.

I'll walk you through a few of my favorite tools and gentle language swaps to make "no" feel a little lighter, including:

• "Thank you for thinking of me, but I can't commit right now."

• "I don't have the capacity, but here's another option."

• "No, thank you." (Yes, that's a full sentence!)

I also talk about one of my favorite practices: treating boundaries as an act of self-partnership. I imagine my past and future self as teammates. The version of me from three days ago who blocked out time on the calendar, made lunch plans at home, or said no to something that would've drained me—she was taking care of me. And the me right now? I'm doing the same for the future version who'll thank me later.

Boundaries aren't punishment; they're protection. And when I honor my energy first, I can show up more fully for the things and people that truly matter.

If you've ever felt the pressure to do it all, to say yes to every request, or to overexplain your "no," I hope this episode feels like permission to breathe again. Saying no with kindness and calm is one of the most loving things we can do—for ourselves and for everyone around us.

Resources Mentioned: – The Treasure Journal: A 7-part guided journal and meditation series to help you reset before burnout sets in. – Wrestling a Walrus: For Little People with Big Feelings: A playful tool for helping kids (and grown-ups) name and navigate big emotions with compassion.

• FREE mediation download

Connect with Danielle:

• Watch the show on YouTube

• Instagram

If this conversation helps you take one deep breath or say one kinder no, share it with a friend who might need the same reminder. Because you deserve calm—without having to earn it.

"If Plan A is meaningful enough, there should not be a Plan B and a Plan C."

Martha Hoover joins me for a wide-ranging, candid convo on vision, hospitality, change, and unapologetically starting your "second rodeo." We talk about building something distinctive, even if the world isn't ready for it, parenting and businesses growing up like "twins," learning to say "no", and why perfection is a trap. Martha shares stories—from sexism at the bank to learning stick shift in one afternoon—that show how courage, clarity, and follow-through beat "shoulda-coulda-woulda" every time.

In this episode, we cover:

• Hospitality is its own "superpower": making people feel truly welcomed in your sacred spaces

• Creating what you wanted—and trusting others want it, too

• Change as the only constant (and how to lean into it)

• Energy budgeting: non-negotiables, boundaries, and saying no without guilt

• Parenting, business, and growth on parallel timelines

• Ageism, relevance, and launching a "Second Rodeo" in your 70s

• Failing with joy, learning publicly, and persisting without a Plan B

3 Key Takeaways

1. Define and defend your non-negotiables. Write them down, communicate them, and hold them—because expectations go both ways.

2. Change isn't the enemy—resistance is. Treat pivots as progress: if something doesn't work, you've learned… and you can change again.

3. Commit to Plan A. When the goal matters, ditch the escape hatches. Commitment calms the noise and focuses your energy.

Links & Mentions

• Martha Hoover on Instagram
• Martha's MSH Collective: helping women thrive in life and business
• A Longer Table (Formerly known as the Patachou Foundation)

• The Mother Load by Sarah Hoover (audiobook recommended)

• "Learning How to Surf" short film (Hurley) — a blueprint for learning anything

Connect with Danielle:

• Watch the show on YouTube

• Instagram

• The Treasured Journal

• Wrestling a Walrus

If this episode made you braver about your next chapter, share it with a friend and subscribe, so you don't miss the next conversation.